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Just found out that I had the H today


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Hey guys, as my post title says, I just found out I have genital herpes this afternoon. I am pretty devastated, feel lost and confused, alone, and just that my world turned upside down. I also have a boyfriend of 2 months that I had to tell. He took it pretty well, but only time will tell what happens to the relationship. This first outbreak hurts a ton and I am afraid of future outbreaks, especially since I live a pretty chaotic stressful live (college senior with two jobs and a full course load). I came on this site because as I said I felt alone, and would love to connect with people who feel understand what I'm going through and could maybe provide some advice (preventing outbreaks especially), and maybe just some words of encouragement. Thanks in advance, looking forward to talking with you all!

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Sorry you are having a painful time, and especially during college.

How were you diagnosed, and do you know whether you have HSV1 or HSV2?

Has your boyfriend been tested yet? He should get a type specific blood test right away to see whether or not he already has herpes. He might be the person you got it from. But if not, then you can decide together what precautions to take.

Hang in there and read the links on the right side of this page. They are very informative. They will help you learn how to deal with herpes, and also come to see that it probably won't be too bad once you figure that out.

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Hey nycgirl,

I'm really sorry about all this. As common as HSV is, for some reason it still has the power to make you feel alone. But, just know you're not. :)

I'm still fairly new to everything myself (I haven't been officially diagnosed yet), but I'm about as sure as I can be otherwise that I have it. Either way, I've felt the same rush of worry and negative emotion and can honestly tell you that it calms down after a while.

Plus, there are many people who manage it very well and live perfectly normal lives, like RealisticGal, who serve as a huge inspiration to the rest of us. Just hang in there and get some medication if possible--you'll be fine.

You're also welcome to PM me if you ever need to talk to anyone.

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Just to make sure you know...

I am not managing to live a normal life with herpes. I don't have herpes.

I came here because of a (wonderful, honest, caring, decent) man who has herpes. I found this site to learn about it after he told me, because we were getting close to intimacy.

So I am affected, but not in quite the same way.

I have learned a heck of a lot here, so I do try to help folks by sharing information, but the information and tips I share are not from personal experiences.

Just want to be sure you are all aware of that.

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Oh, okay, my apologies. :) Your contributions are still appreciated though.

Oh, GOSH! No need for apologies.

I just would not want to mislead anyone. I like to be sure folks know I do not speak from experience, only from (lots of) research and other folks' stories.

I do like folks to know that I am in an intimate relationship with a man who has herpes, because it tends to give them hope of also finding others who will see herpes for what it is --- not the definition of a person, not something terrifying --- just a virus that anyone can get, but that doesn't change who you are.


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Hi RealisticGal- I was diagnosed with them doing a culture swab over the area. I believe it is HSV2 (something I want to confirm). I will make sure my boyfriend gets tested, as he was a little shaken to hear the news. While you don't have the virus, it’s great that you are learning up and spreading knowledge. Thank you for telling us a little about your relationship, as my intimate relationship with my boyfriend will have to change slightly, we just don’t know how much (that is the scary part). Thanks for the tips and reaching out :)

Hi Surreal Love- thanks so much for your support. Are you going to get tested to confirm it and choose the right course of action from there? I know that the first outbreak is the worst, right now I am just caught in the midst of it and it feels pretty bad. Thanks again :)

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Hi nycgirl. Welcome to this site. It's great. I joined a little over two weeks ago after going to the doctors for what I thought was a cut and her telling me she was pretty sure it was H. I was diagnosed with GHSV2 a few days after my appt. I just wanted to say that it really does get better. The first day is the hardest emotionally, or at least it was for me. This site has so much information and supportive people though, and it really helped me cope and remain positive. :) There is a lot of information on the right about reducing outbreaks.

I had to tell my BF of 4 months, so I kind of know where you are coming from. He actually took it really well, but I was so nervous before I told him. I hope your BF continues to take it well and is supportive. :) Take care!

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welcome to the club! Know how you feel about the stress. I have the most stressful full on course and it really doesnt help the herpes... had two obs in the last 4 weeks. But pain wise there not bad...more a irritating feeling. herpes wont get the better of me! My bf took it well too...were doing long distance tho so not seen him in months and hope sex isnt different after! Just got to wait and see!


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Hi norcallove- I will definitely check out the links about reducing outbreaks. I have a lot of stress in my life, so that is one thing I need to get under control. I am glad your boyfriend took it well. I will just have to wait and see what happens with mine, that is all we can do for right now. Thanks for reaching out :)

Hi Boopboop- Sorry to hear about the outbreaks. Sometimes life just gets crazy and stressful and there is nothing we can do about it. I am glad they are more irritating than painful. Right now this is my first one, so they are painful, I know it will get better from here on. Good luck with your boyfriend. Long distance is tough but if you guys are solid, then it is worth it. Thanks for the understanding :)

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