question for the girls

[boopboop]

just wondering for the girls with gh... do you ever feel quite the same down there ever again?

[dinki]

nope

Nah i feel things have changed tho some days are good and some are bad...i just feel like there is always a tingle or itch and it makes me feel disgusting and repulsed with myself.

[RealisticGal]

I have almost constant tingling in my left arm. Not unlike the effects of herpes, this is a neurological symptom. In this case, it is the result of a neck injury. I don't feel disgusting or repulsed by it.

Annoyed, yes. Disgusted, no.

Just trying to throw a little perspective on your situation here...

The only reason I can see that you would find your genital tingling to be a reason for disgust is because of the social stigma of herpes. The reason that stigma is easily proliferated is because...*gasp!*...it has to do with S.E.X.

If you are able to get past those old puritanical beliefs that sex is bad/dirty/naughty, I think you might feel a lot better about it.

At least I hope so, for your sake!

[naj3314]

I guarantee 80% of it is also in your mind. You feel gross, your upset and your mind imagines things. I myself am quite the hypocondriac and my mind has given me STD symptoms to the point where i go get checked and im negative. You have Herpes, now learn to live with it or let it live your life. Which sounds better? You could have gotten AIDS which can kill you. But you didnt, instead you have herpes which is basically like getting a bad case of chicken pox on your nether regions every once in awhile.

[RealisticGal]

You know, I think naj has a point about it being in your mind...but not so much that you are imagining symptoms. The symptoms, if you have herpes, are real.

But what you do have in your minds is that stigma. It's that the stigma has been pushed so deeply into our minds that it is difficult to escape that belief that herpes makes a person gross or disgusting or dirty or somehow "less than."

But you are not less than, my dears. You are you --- as you always have been. Herpes is herpes. It is just a hitchhiker in your body, but it doesn't make it dirty.

Here's a good little article that might show you that the feelings you are having right now are the normal feelings almost everyone goes through at first...but then things change if they learn more about the true nature of herpes.

I Was Ashamed of My Herpes Until I Found Out How to Treat It

You know, someone here recently mentioned that there was never a stigma attached to herpes until after acyclovir was invented. Now that really puts it in a whole different light for me!

[dinki]

You ladies are def right. it really is in my head due to the stigma but everytime i get the symptoms which feels like always i get a tad bit depressed. everytime i do something down there shaving e.t.c i get a reminder like a possible OB that herpes is in me...it hurts and i try not to let if affect my life but it is hard. i hope i get there someday when im ok with all of this. right now i wish i could lock up my coochie and never have to look at it again!

[Margaux]

I do not look or feel the same since all of this started for me five weeks ago. I am thinking over time i will feel and look like I used to. Right now it is too new to say I am wrecked for life, but sometimes it does feel like an eternity since I have felt normal.

[boopboop]

hmm sometimes i feel ok again and down there is ok. A good amount of stress around herpes is parania. Like when someone has oral herpes you dont kiss them around that time ...but apart from that you dont rlly take any other precautions. I think my hang-up is feeling less sexy and being seen as less sexy. Ah I hate the word herpes...even genital coldsores sound better....thats what they're getting called from now on by me. And my major hang-up is it changing how a potential partner sees me. Also is an intimate area which I'd quite like back to normal asap. All I can really do is look after myself more and hope it fades with time. Also annoys me that the people who are upfront about it with people have the chance of having that person seeing them differently which they shouldn't they should appreciate how much that person cares compared to the person who probably gave it to me who didnt. Just a reminder about how different people are and is a thing were it make you choose and define what type of person you are. Herpes is a test of strengh, confidence and love really (for yourself)...and sometimes with other people.

[ihavit2]

I also almost always feel a tingle or twitch or something.

[package deal]

i broken out pnly twice in 2 years. I do not get any tengling sensation before, aftger or between outbreaks. I really felt dirty badlky in begaining. Stilll do at times. mostly what i feel is emotional; mental like what man would want me when if the sition was versed i would not want a man with herpies and would run like hell

[Margaux]

Linda, I married a man with herpes and I did not have it. He's a great man. You are a great woman and the right man will not at all run like hell. I know how you feel, but truly-herpes or not, you are lovable. XXOO (((HUGS)))

[ihavit2]

i'm with dinki

[fidormula]

I've been in two 2 year relationships back-to-back in the past 5 years, in both cases I let them know that I have genital herpes (HSV-2), both of them understood the risks they were taking when the decision was made not to use a condom, both of them tested once a year and have not been infected (still friends with them). My experience is that it is possible to have normal relationships and sex life while having the virus. It is all about how you present it to your partner when you decide to have The Talk (the timing of it matters a lot too). It is also very important to monitor yourself carefully so to reduce the risk of passing it on.

My ex-bf accused me of cheating when we both had our first outbreak at the same time. He put me down and made me feel awful. When I proved him I did not know I had, it he showed up with a bag of vitamins but my self-esteem was already damaged. I spent 6 months being depressed. It definitely changed my personality, made me grow up quick (I was 19). Now, I'm not ashamed of having it. My ob trigger is extreme stress, so I try not to stress out and live life optimistically, while making sure my immune system stays healthy. The initial shock of finding out you have herpes goes away eventually, it actually makes your realize that life is short and you have to enjoy every moment of it.

[ladyl]

I don't feel the same I always have a itch and wonder if its a ob but nothin appears.

[ihavit2]

so do i ladyl

[elmerette]

this is in response to all the women who have responded to this thread...I am Elm, and those of you who know me know I'm a lesbian. like I told my gf/giver...you are still sexy, you dont scare me, herpes doesnt scare me! you are still beautiful, sexy, attractive, and it all has to do with the inner person. you may experience rejection from the talk, but that is THEIR loss, not yours. herpes doesnt define who the inner person you are is. all the qualities you had before you caught it, you still have them!

just wanted to offer encouragement to those of you in doubt. you are beautiful, you are attractive, anyone that relies on the outer beauty is not worth your time. We will all find happiness, we just have to persevere...early on I had someone tell me that herpes is the "jerk weeder"! if they wont accept you with herpes, then THEY are not worth your time. just my .02

[ihavit2]

elm

Thanks a bunch! I really needed to hear that. Enjoy your holiday.

[elmerette]

thanks ang, I needed to say it!

[ihavit2]

It's been 2 months for me and I still cry ALL THE TIME. I am miserable.

[elmerette]

IT does get better

[darkangel2100]

I take suppressive medicine that works for me, so about every 2 or 3 months I get itchy down there for a few days and that's all. No sores anymore, just itchiness and maybe a few funny sensations and that is very tolerable. I hate the most when it falls on time I get to see my fiance. He does not have HSV and we've been together almost 11 months.

Most of the time I feel normal down there - to answer your question.

[bluefish]

I have to remember I have herpes because I forget all the time. I sometimes think most of the people that come to this board are the ones who just found out they have it and only a handful of us stick around to support others.

I have other things going on in life that are a bigger pain to deal with than herpes. Herpes is a blimp on the radar. Hopefully it will become that way for you too.

[snowbird]

I don't think about it every day, i check myself over once a week and have a healthy realtionship. I do get paranoid about it every so often, and have been to the clinic and been told there's nothing there, they act like I'm wasting their time, but to be honest i would rather have a second opinion so I don't care if that's what they think.

I have days where i still feel upset about it manily when I have an outbreak or think i'm having one! but i refuse to let this affect the bigger picture and I have other things going on in my life, like bluefish which take presendence and I too hope that it will be like that for you.

[Magnolia]

I feel and look 100% normal almost all the time. My OBs are so mild now...I'm not even sure its an OB but I don't have sex with my BF just to be safe.

I think its normal to feel like that at first though. I started dating a guy after I was diagnosed but couldn't really have a physical connection...I didn't want to be touched! My current BF is amazing and we have a fantastic sex life.

[misshoneybee]

My first ob was a few weeks ago. Since then I've felt uncomfortable when I pee. I have a strange feeling which I feel in the area a lot of the time but that could simply be because I'm more aware of it, paying more attention incase it's an ob coming on.