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Gential Herpes at 16


Paiggeypoo

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Hi my names Paige, and im sixteen. I was diagnosed with herpes in July of 2010. It has been very hard on me. I am a virgin and I have hsv1 in my genital area. I got it from the boy I thought I loved, when in all reality I was just in lust. This has affected me so much, to the point I wanted to kill myself. The person who gave it to me left me, he doesnt care what he did, he doesnt have any remorse, either does his family. I just dont see how he can live with himself knowing that he gave this to me, and not even be with me. Its so hard on me knowing I have the disease for the rest of my life. Im sixteen, a virgin, with herpes. I feel disgusting, ugly, and unwanted. I really hope this passes and I get over it. When im older and more content with the situation and outta highschool, Id really like to start a support group in my area for teens. Please reach out to me, and help me learn to me okay with this.

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People are here to help you out

Hi there, I'm Kelly. I'm 19 from CA. I went to the doctor's today and I am waiting for my results but my doctor strongly believes that I have genital herpes. I am not a virgin, but like you, we have a bright future ahead of ourselves. Initially, when I heard the doctor say what she thought I had, I was ready to just die. I'm still in that stage. It's shock. Terrible things happen to great people. I have been safe (used condoms), but the unprotected areas were still affected. I'm not sure yet which type I have contracted, if I have. 1 in 5 people have this disease, so don't worry, you're not alone on this road. It's a long process from here on out, but if you read other people's stories on here, you gain more hope. I still have hopes to find someone (who will now be ok with this issue) to settle down with and love. Herpes will not kill you, but you need to stay strong and keep pushing through every bad moment. Just remember, you have the world of support, even from people you don't know.

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Hey Kelly. Thank you so much! Im still in shock and its been a few months. I just hate the guy who gave it to me. he doesnt even care. & then he tried to say he didnt give it to me. Well then who did? I havent done anything with anyone else. Im so mad at him for how hes acting. At first he laid with me, cried with me, and supported me. But then to get the stress off his mind he started doing drugs, drinking, partying and what not. Im straightedge and not into that stuff at all. he ended things with me, Im slowly starting to get better. Im on a medication called valtrex for the herpes. Its supposed to make me getting an outbreak harder. Thank you so much, you really have no clue how much this means to me.

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hello again

I know exactly how you feel. The guy that I actually had protected (but with herpes, it's never protected) sex with, is the one I believe that I got it from. I talk to him today about it because I want him to finally get tested. He keeps putting it off and putting it off. We'll see if he ever goes. I think some people just don't want to believe that their lives will be forever changed. There's a stigma attached to having herpes, people think we are dirty and whores, but in most cases, that's not it. I really like this guy and I'd love to be with him, but it's freaking him out so much that he's just pushing me away. We are barely talking now. Things will get worse before they can get better... I used to hear that all the time, but I'm finally believing it. I never thought I'd get something like this. My life is basically at its all time low, but I know in the end, someone will love me and support me. Just trust me, sex isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It honestly just brings complications. It's fun, yea... but it's so scary at some moments. You have to stick to your guns, you're still very young, there's plenty of time to be serious! Enjoy your teen years and youth. Go out and have fun with your friends, when ever possible. I didn't do that when I was in high school and I regret it every day. I see all the girls I knew still hanging out and being best friends. Guys really do just suck. Generally, they have one thing on their minds and most don't stop until they get it. Be careful! :)

How did your family take it when you told them about your situation?

I'm so scared to tell my family. I'm not even 100% sure I actually have herpes, but I'm trying to prepare myself for the worst... it's been really hard already. If you have any advice for me, please don't hesitate to share! Any help counts! I'm still very new to this all.

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You two girls are just amazing. I don't know how I would have dealt at your age. You sound wise beyond your years to be adapting so well so quickly.

kelly, you don't have to tell your family unless you want to. This is your own personal, private medical information. The only ones you should feel compelled to tell are medical caregivers and potential intimate partners. But you can tell your family if you wish to. It just depends on your relationship with them. It is great that Paige has that sort of relationship with her mom, but not all of us are that fortunate. Do what feels right to you, hon.

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Kelly, shes right. You do not need to tell your family if you dont want to. I was actually 15 when i was diagnosed, so my aunt had taken me to the doctor. I called my mom balling my eyes out, and eventually had to tell her, because I was underage. But you on the other hand, your over 18. You do not have to tell them. Its your personal opinion and if you choose to tell your family thats on you. I told my mom on the phone, not the best situation but I was compelled to. My sister knows, and my moms boyfriend knows. Otherwise theres a girl in my school who I was friends with when i was younger, i found out she has h. So its really nice to have people to talk to about it. If you do not tell your family, thats totally okay, & if you EVER need anyone to talk to or advice or whatnot, please do not hesitate to ask. Do not prepare for the worst, it may not be what they think it is. Please let me know once you get your results if you wouldnt mind, id love to be there for you.

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Hello Paigey:

I contracted HSV2 at 34, it's been since July 2010, but I WILL TELL YOU - that one of my best friends has had it for almost 20 yrs, and she is now 36. At first she didn't want anyone to know about it, but when I found out that I had it, I was SO DESPERATE to talk to her, for her to tell me it's going to be ALRIGHT. And you know something? She told me - It will be alright. She is living proof of this. She has had many relationships, and she has told every one of them. They still accepted her. That was my biggest problem - ever believing that someone would accept me for having genital Herpes. But she has proved that it will all be ok. She gets 1-2 OB's per year. And in HER situation, when she first got it, she had no idea what it was, and doctors really didn't have much to tell her at the time, so she struggled for a long time not really having anyone to turn to.

In this day and age, there is tons more research done about Herpes, and better medications.

YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS. It might not seem like that right now, but I ASSURE YOU....it will :)

We are all here for you.

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Kelly, shes right. You do not need to tell your family if you dont want to. I was actually 15 when i was diagnosed, so my aunt had taken me to the doctor. I called my mom balling my eyes out, and eventually had to tell her, because I was underage. But you on the other hand, your over 18. You do not have to tell them.

Even kids who are under 18 have a right to privacy.

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Paige: of course I will let you know what the results are. Honestly, I can only openly talk about this on this site, because I know people won't judge me on here. This site has helped me so much. I think I will hold off on letting my family know, if I will at all. I want to just get the results back before taking any other steps. The medication my doctor gave me to help clear up the sores... is not working! Do I just wait for it all to clear up or is there anything else I can do besides the usual keeping the area clean and dry thing? It's incredibly painful, I dread going to the bathroom and also walking around. Oh boy, it sucks. And thank you so much for being so supportive already. I know we are strangers, but the support is soooo nice nonetheless.

@ RealiaticGal: Thank you so much, I'm trying to stay strong... some days are harder than others. I look up to Paige and all of the other people trying to continue somewhat normal lives with H.

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The medication my doctor gave me to help clear up the sores... is not working! Do I just wait for it all to clear up or is there anything else I can do besides the usual keeping the area clean and dry thing? It's incredibly painful, I dread going to the bathroom and also walking around. Oh boy, it sucks. And thank you so much for being so supportive already. I know we are strangers, but the support is soooo nice nonetheless.

How long have you been on antiviral meds? It may take a while for them to help.

You can take baths with Epsom Salts to help soothe and heal/dry the sores. Some folks have good results taking Lysine supplements. Others swear by Oil of Oreganol. Take a look at the right side of the page here for links to treatments and home remedies.

You can make it less painful to urinate by doing it in the bathtub (under water) or in the shower with the water stream flowing over your parts. Also, be sure to drink a lot of water so the urine is less concentrated.

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You need to give the pills time. Did they give you one you take 3 times a day? I hated going to the bathroom or even walking. I took a bath in epsom salt and that seemed to help. I went online and looked at a whole bunch of stuff. I washed with a saline wash due to them being like open wounds. There was this baking soda thing i tried, IT BURNED. terrible. Your welcome, its the only thing I can do, but I hope my support seems to ease you a little bit.

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I was given the antibiotics about three days ago now, the doctor had said I'd see progress within hours. I think time is healing more than those pills. One spot has decided to be completely stubborn had the top layer of new skin just came right off and now it's an open sore yet again. It's so painful because of it's location. I'm hoping the OB is coming to an end pretty soon, I'm not quite sure how much more I can take. :/ I'll have to try some of those remedies. ASAP. lol! Thank you both:)

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I was given the antibiotics about three days ago now, the doctor had said I'd see progress within hours. I think time is healing more than those pills. One spot has decided to be completely stubborn had the top layer of new skin just came right off and now it's an open sore yet again. It's so painful because of it's location. I'm hoping the OB is coming to an end pretty soon, I'm not quite sure how much more I can take. :/ I'll have to try some of those remedies. ASAP. lol! Thank you both:)

A lot of doctors are not at all well-informed about herpes. I have never, ever heard of anyone having relief in hours from antivirals once the outbreak is happening. At a minimum, some folks have reported that things got better after a few days to a week on antivirals.

Now, I'm assuming you did mean antivirals, not antibiotics. A lot of folks get them confused. What is the name of the medicine your doctor gave you?

I bet the Epsom Salts baths would help you. Give them a try!

Oh, and also I forgot to mention numbing creams. You want to look for something that contains lidocaine or xylocaine or something like that.

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Hey Paige. Im also 16 and just diagnosed with HSV1, genital herpes. I know exactly how you are feeling. This site has helped me so much and I have only had herpes for a week! Through all the research I have done I've realised we WILL live normal lives. Due to our age, I would suggest not telling any of your friends unless you really trust them. I've decided not to tell anyone but my mum because people our age are not able to keep secrets and the last thing I want is for people to know I have an STD. Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk, I'm going to need someone to help me through this as well. Good luck and try to keep positive.

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  • 2 weeks later...

it sucks having this disease so young.. im 19 years old and i have it. but there is one thing i do think that we have on our side from being so young: time. i have hope that in our lifetime they will come up with something that will either be able to cure the disease completely or make big improvements from what we have today.

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Hey girls, I'm a male. And I'm here to tell you that even with herpes people will still want to be with you. I got genital herpes when I was young in my mid twenties, I thot it was over for me sexually, I went through the same range of emotions as I'm sure most people do. I would break out monthly and it would last for weeks. One would clear up and bam couple days later, it was a physical and emotional roller coaster.

It's been six years now, I'm in a steady relationship and have a beautiful baby girl. I am way beyond where I ever saw myself. Yes it was hard to have the talk with someone new, but it was my responsibility to inform them. I have never been rejected because of herpes. Not by my friends or family or girls. I've only been in two relationships in six years, the first one lasted two years and didn't work out due to other reasons.

I use to think herpes made me something else, something dirty something used or broken. Believe me when I say, I was so horribly wrong. I am a good person. I have a good heart and good intentions. Herpes does not take that away from me, it never will. Anyone Who rejects me because of herpes despite all that is good, is shallow and a waste of my time. You will find the same to be true aswell. Love yourselves, pray to become better for you not for anyone else. You will overcome this and emerge stronger than ever. I promise!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Paige. I'm sixteen too and just about to turn 17 at the end of this month. It will also mark my first year of having genital herpes type 1. I too recieved this nasty thing off an awful ex boyfriend! i know exactly how you are feeling right now, and I also thought of taking my own life. However, there is more to life than this virus! if you fancy a chat just give me a shout :) xxx

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Thanks guys! I actually told my boyfriend. & hes staying with me! hes been so supportive and he has some concerns. which we are going to work through together. Im realizing that my life isnt over. Its just beginning. I was given this challenge for a reason. I know I can handle it. Im so much more confident now. If it werent for people like you, I wouldnt be where I am today.

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Hello, im nineteen and have only been with three girls in my life. believe it or not i actually contracted my hsv from passing around a joint too many times with a guy who has herpes. I know how you feel about feeling unwanted and ugly and even wanting to kill yourself. I always thought to myself that it was the worst thing im ever gonna have to go through. I havent even went down to the std clinic to find out because i know their just gonna tell me something i already know and i dont wanna pay the fifty bucks haha. But yeah im right there with ya paige Im new to this whole thing and i just cant grasp the fact that im going to have to live with it for the rest of my life.

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im too scared to kill myself. i have given it much thought and i just dont know how i would be able to do it.

i have no idea how and when i would tell any prospective partners about genital hsv

how the fuck do you just tell some one, o btw i have herpes on my dick. is that cool with you?

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im only 18

it honestly feels like my life is over and i cant wait to die. but i cant hang my self or drown myself. and im too fucking scared to cut my wrists

i have no fucking clue how to get my hands on a gun in canada

and what the fuck would my note say? sorry mom and dad i killed my self cause i got head from a chick with a cold sore and got herpes...

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sunglasses --- there is no reason for your life, or even your sex life, to be over. There are many, many members of this forum who are proof of that!

My guy told me about it and I chose to be intimate with him. It is just a stupid virus that MANY folks have.

Please, if you are really having these thoughts, you need to get some help. There are people you can talk to who can help you see that the way you are feeling right now is normal, but only TEMPORARY!

Once you learn more about herpes, you will see that you can manage it and do whatever you want to in life.

Here are some numbers you could call to talk:

Kids Help Phone (Jeunesse, Jecoute)

1-800-668-6868

24 hour. Toll Free anywhere in Canada, English or French

http://kidshelp.sympatico.ca or http://jeunesse.sympatico.ca

Distress and Suicide Line (Northern Alberta only)

1-800-232-7288

AIDS/Sexually Transmitted Diseases Info

1-800-772-2437

Please seek help right away, sunglasses.

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wow, reading this i was shocked. i thought i was the only one. i am now 16 and got diagnosed with genital herpes 1 march/may of 2010 when i was still fifteen. its been very hard lately.. i have a NEW wonderful boyfriend, i love him to death he is absolutely perfect.. but i have yet to tell him. ive been dating him for almost 3 months and i know i really have to tell him! its alot harder then it seems.. i keep playing it along in my head thinking of what to say or how he will react but have no idea when to tell him let alone how to approach it. not a day goes by that i dont think of how much easier it would be if i didnt have this. i couldve never imaged ever having to deal with this. its alot of weight to carry on my shoulders at 16. even worse people at my school are finding out and when ever someones asks me i just have to laugh and say no. i guess im thankful to have 2 amazing best friends who know and have kept my secret that helped alot along with my mom who was very understanding. but in the end i dont think they will ever really understand because they dont have the multiple effects it has on many aspects of my life. i hope you respond because i think it could benifit the both of us having extreamly similar case's! and how eachother cope. and last night i had the first outbreak since i was diagnosed:( wish there was a cure! hope all is well for you! -rosiee

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Hey hang in there, That kid that knowingly gave you this disease is the reason it is so prominant. I myself have been going through tough times managing this disease. You need to hang in there and live your life. You just need to do it more responsibly and learn how to manage this virus. No one here wants to be in the position they are in but, know there are many people to relate to and find comfort that some day down the road there may be a cure and your lifetime and many people in the past have lived with this virus there whole life.

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    • sgt98
      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @NerdP423 and welcome to the website. You raise a lot of points and I think the best way to address your concerns is add some comments at each key point. I've copied your note again below and added these comments in square brackets. I appreciate any insight (even speculation) as to what has been going on with me. I'm a 37y/o M. I last was intimate with a new partner on 2/11/2022, and a few days later started having a huge amount of discomfort in my face. [The first thing that happens though is that herpes causes lesions or at least some skin based disruption. Other symptoms are then related to the actions of the immune system responding to the virus. Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. [If this was a PCR then this will be very conclusive.] Practitioner said it may come back negative because it was already open. However the lab report noted that it definitely didn't look like what you'd expect a typical first herpes outbreak to look like [how would the lab know??]. All blood tests negative so far. I had two western blots, the second one was nine months after exposure. [Two negative Westernblots!!! Many that's real convincing]. All other swabs also negative. I went to urgent care, because I know the timeliness of when the Swab is taken matters. One time, a swab was not done, because practitioner said it was folliculitis and wouldn't swab it (It was at my belt line). [Belt line is highly unlikely to relate to herpes.]   A blood test revealed I had low-ish B12 (technically in range, but at the very low end, especially for a man of my size). I had a series of B12 injections, and I am taking a B12 supplement. I am not taking any lysine or arginine at the moment. I was taking the Arganine to see if I could induce an outbreak. [This is irrelevant, there is no known linkage between herpes outbreaks and arginine/lysine intake - its a myth - and B12 infers nothing.] I think what I am asking is - has anyone here ever repeatedly tested negative over and over again over long period of time, before getting a definitive answer, be a positive test, or something else? [The answer to this is: Extremely few people with a HSV-1 infection and even more rarely HSV-2 test repeatedly negative on Westernblot and actually carry the virus. Of the cases that I know of that had delayed detection by a swab and negative blood tests in the meantime (and that's only 3-4 cases), they had some form of lesions within days of infection but did not obtain a swab for various reasons and then obtained a positive swab of a subsequent lesion with the record being 11 months later. A couple of the cases did have some 'background' symptoms they thought might be related to herpes but that isn't ascertained and some did not have any unusual symptoms at all apart from the lesions. Hence as you did not have lesions around your mouth or lips within days of the last sexual encounter as is exceptionally common for a primary oral HSV-1 infection, that pretty much rules out herpes orally as it is. The fact that you had no genital symptoms for a month also rules out genital herpes. I am not aware of anyone at all who has genuinely gone on to test positive by swab or blood in your specific circumstances. There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
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