Scared, Alone, and SAd

[blue712]

Hi,

I am brand new on here. Very sad...just diagnosed yesterday with genital herpes. I don't know if it is HSV1 or HSV2 yet, but am going for blood test tomorrow. I'm just so very sad...can't stop crying...don't know where it came from and single! My bf, who seemed supportive when i told him about the sore, broke up with me via email last night after I told him i tested positive. I was so devastated, not because he broke up with me b/c i'm thinking it came from him, but because I don't know how I will ever meet someone who will accept this part of me and want to be with me and build a life with me and my daughter. I'm young, fit, and attractive(not being conceited) and I want so badly to have a man in my life. I just feel so ashamed and really have not stopped crying since I found out.

Please...any words of wisdom, advice, experiences...would be welcomed.

[Derp]

Why hellllloooooooo traveller!

Yep, sucks doesn't it? I just found out too. I actually find this board kinda depressing. Too many of us inexperienced people freaking out thinking life is absolutely over, not enough experienced folks here to be like 'Ah its okay! Life is great!'

Its a pain. I still have no idea how I'm gonna come to terms with it. But, its there. Thats life. I've been really down and miserable before, and everytime I remember what Robert Frost said and it really makes me feel better, kind of like right now:

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."

[bobsmith12345]

The one thing that I keep telling myself is that when you throw out the negative perception & stigma associated with hsv, when you throw out the awful and extreme hsv pics that you find on the internet, when you throw out the pity-me attitude that we all get - what you really get is the one undeniable fact that it's primarily just BUMPS and these symptoms are very much treatable and usually improve over time.

I think part of the depression associated is that nobody envisions themselves getting something like this. It's not in the roadmaps that we set out for ourselves but life throws us curveballs.

I'm new to this too & I read your message and felt compelled to respond. Take some time and re-prioritize things in your life, concentrate on improving all the things & relationships that really matter, and I believe that when you find love; herpes won't be hard for him to overlook.

[stephxo]

Hi Blue. Sorry you are in this situation. I am newly diagnosed as well with genital HSV-1. I am also single and have not had to deal with having to tell a future partner about this. You are brave and did the right thing by telling your boyfriend (now ex). Although he is not supportive I do not doubt you will find a man who accepts you for you. I've heard a lot of people saying that this disease really weeds out the jerks out there. If someone truly loves you and wants to be with you then they will not run away when you tell them. My best advice to give to you is do a lot of research, especially when you receive the results of what type you have. Keep optimistic. This isn't the end of the world!

[dontknow1H]

Hi BLUE just read Bobsmith12345 post it made me feel a little better. There just doesn't seem like a strong support system for for this disease. B4 I broke out I would have said that your nasty or dirty and i'm a super clean person and can't figure out why me? I'm terrified I haven't eatin a meal in days. I want to throw up or do throw up whenever I eat. I feel sick to my stomach. I am truely depressed. I also have a young daughter who I feel bad for because i am not the parent that I was 2 months ago I feel that she is starting to feel the depression in me. Blue I keep telling myself be strong but its hard but we have children we have to raise. A lot of kids don't have parents si I can't let some bumps on my skin kill me or destroy her future. But this depression is a mother.

[dontknow1H]

Derp its hard to keep on pushing but what else is there to do life goes on. Although if it weren't for my daughter and me being such a pussy I contimplated suicide. Now thats depression but everyday that arises I feel a 1millionth of a percent better. By the way I am alive and well just a little itchy.

[blue712]

Thank you everyone for your replies!! I appreciate that we have found this site to express some of our feelings and the help each other make sense of this and try to get back to a normal life. Dontknow1H: i truly feel your pain because I did think to myself, the other day, that if it was just me, in a selfish moment, I might've taken my own life. I don't think I actually would, but the thought was definately there.

I have some questions though, that i really hope someone can help me answer. If I have genital HSV1, can I spread it to my daughter through sharing a glass, cutlery, licking her ice cream cone, kissing her on the lips or eyes?? I have never had a cold sore and wash everytime I may have touched my genitals. What about if I have HSV2? I am so concerned for her!! What about our only toilet in the house? What about using other people's toilets?? Ugh...I am so saddened and scared and confused!!!!!

Please help...

[Dogwatch]

I have some questions though, that i really hope someone can help me answer. If I have genital HSV1, can I spread it to my daughter through sharing a glass, cutlery, licking her ice cream cone, kissing her on the lips or eyes?? I have never had a cold sore and wash everytime I may have touched my genitals. What about if I have HSV2? I am so concerned for her!! What about our only toilet in the house? What about using other people's toilets?? Ugh...I am so saddened and scared and confused!!!!!

Please help...

You cannot spread GENITAL herpes (be it hsv1 or hsv2) to somebody else by kissing them, sharing ice creams or via other direct or indirect ORAL-ORAL contact.

What you fear is an absolute medical impossibility, and if you transferred it to your daughter in that way, you'd probably have government agents in HazMat suits spiriting you off in black vans to Area 51 or some place like that to conduct experiments into what would be a scientific anomaly of the same order of magnitude as someone developing the ability to spontaneously teleport themselves at will.

And barring an utterly bizarre set of circumstances (i.e. you have an active OB, rub your sores against the toilet seat, then place your daughter's exposed genitals or broken skin directly onto that exact same spot inside the approximately 10 seconds that the virus can survive away from the human body), you don't need to worry about toilet transmission either. The same applies to towels etc.

So relax. You have nothing to worry about on that score.

[nycgirl87]

Hi blue712- so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. That is a pretty crappy and cowardly move of him, and with email none-the-less. I know how you feel (just diagnosed as well, relationship probably over with my bf as well)- but… your ex bf does not sound like the man that you want in your life. You have a daughter, you want someone STRONG. He clearly is not. You sound like a person with lots to offer, life will go on and you will meet someone who can accept all of you!

dontknow1H- Also wanted to say hello. This is the time to think about what is truly important. And what is important is your family. I don’t know how long it’s been since your diagnosis but I am glad to know that everyday gets a little bit better. Hang in there