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Ever wish you didn't know?


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Sometimes I wish I never went to the doctor that day cuz he never would've seen that ulcer and I could keep living my life with no guilt.

I could hook up with girls with no remorse over me being a "bad person" and I wouldn't have to worry about the talk. Such bullshit I hate the person who gave it to me but moreover I hate myself for even putting myself in that situation. It was extremely dumb and now I have to live with the consequences. Life fuckin sucks sometimes.

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First of all you're not a bad person. Herpes doesn't pick and choose who it wants to attack. It doesn't matter if your rich, poor, overweight, skinny or anything. Anyone can get this virus. People and animals are bound to getting viruses in this lifetime. That is just how it goes. There will always be something popping up to either get people sick or worse kill people off.

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Thanks Denise for the encouragement. I was sorta referring to me hooking up with girls and not telling them. That would make me a bad person if I did that. I am one of the few who has HSV-2 orally, so the chances of me passing it on are slim. Nonetheless, I know I must tell and the guilt of me not doing so would be tremendous. I would just be so worried that I would pass it on. I take Valtrex every day to make sure I don't.

Also, I acquired herpes by meeting some guy on craigslist and giving him oral sex. I am not even gay! I guess I was just curious. I didn't even like it and it was SO stupid. I will never forgive myself for such a DUMB DUMB DUMB idea and feel like a fucking idiot. I also want to kill that piece of shit.

Sorry for the cursing I am just in a very sad and angry mood right now. How can I ever explain such things to a girl? What girl would want to be with me? Probably none.

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The only 'dumb' mistakes we make are the ones we don't learn from. Unfortunately, the consequences are sometimes far worse than the mistake fairly warrants. What he did (not disclosing) was wrong, but what you did was merely naive. Sexual curiousity is a natural thing. Stop beating yourself up for being human.

Generally speaking, HSV2 orally is usually quite mild. After this initial ob, you may never get another. Trust me, this is not going to keep you from living a normal life... and all that that implies.

Take it easy on yourself. Every now and then, everyone's better judgement takes a vacation. Speaking for myself, that's how I've learned most of what I know... the hard way. And I'd say that's true for almost everyone. It's just how we are.

Wouldn't it be nice if life came with an 'undo' key? But it doesn't (sigh), so we just have to pick ourselves up and keep going... a little sadder maybe, but wiser for the experience.

And... as far as 'trying to explain' how you got it to a girl... no explanation is necessary. You get cold sores, period. How you came by it doesn't matter, any more than it matters for the millions of other people who get them. It just is what it is. If you feel you HAVE to say something, 'oral sex with someone who had genital herpes' will suffice. That pretty well covers all the bases.

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Thank you MsLucy. Yes, an undo key would be spectacular. It is just so hard for me to forgive myself because I went in kind of skeptical and worried about STDs and even asked the dude if he had been tested. He said yes. I was still worried but just thought, "get it over with" and that will be that. Yet, of course, I got herpes and I feel like a goddam moron, particularly because I didn't even like it! Worst decision of my life without a doubt.

The physical pain of this is almost non-existant. This first outbreak hurt, and now all I get is a sore on my upper gumline whenever I get sick. It is nothing. It's just the stigma, as we all know. I feel tarnished.

And explaining it to a girl, I just feel that if I told her I got HSV-2 orally from "giving oral sex to someone" she would probably wonder, "why don't you have it on your lips?" She would be skeptical of how I got it.

I have moral battles with myself of whether or not to tell. Like I said, the chances of me spreading it are very slim. But I would constantly worry about passing it on, my conscience would go crazy. Plus if I were to meet someone special how can I build a relationship on deceit? But if I tell then I risk getting rejected. It is such a hard thing for me to live with. I hate herpes, only because it changes the way I interact with girls. It changes relationships and lives. Yet, it is such a harmless disease.

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Not everyone gets it on their lips. My partner gets it on his nose. Some people get it inside their mouths. Some on their chins... you get the idea. It can appear anywhere on your face, depending on which nerves it follows to the surface. The lip is just the most common, that's all. Where it appears says nothing about how you got it.

Whether you disclose or not is a decision you'll have to make for yourself. After you've had a chance to mull it over, I think you'll decide to tell your partner that you get cold sores. I seriously doubt you'll find it's a big issue. It's just too common for many people to freak out over. The biggest obstacle is in your own mind.

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