Found out 2 weeks ago I have herpes...

[notsofree]

Ok so here I am, kinda made peace with the inconvenience but since then started reading people's VARIED opinions on this virus so now I am unsure.

I thought I had an ingrown hair, no biggie! Had a screening done as my ex was unfaithful and wanted to be 100% sure I was ok. In a way I wish I didnt find out.

So now I am monitoring my immune system and am assuming I will be lucky and not get any regular outbreaks. I take lots of vitamins, eat healthily and have cut back on boozing....I still smoke but one step at a time, I will work on that next.

I have a new love interest but its very new and we dont know each other very well yet. I like him and want to get to know him better and we flirt a lot. I met him before I found out about the herpes and we did decide to just have fun and see where it takes us. Seems now I dont really have that free and carefree option and will either have to come accross as a psycho and decline sex (after saying we should have fun) or tell him. And I am scared that he will run a mile, afterall, why would he even entertain a risk for someone he doesnt know yet. I will tell him but just wanted to share how much it sucks.

My "outbreak" was no biggie, hardly noticed it. The specialist I saw said the 1st outbreak is always the worst so I feel positive that I can avoid another outbreak if I keep in good health (mind & body).

Is anyone else out there who is in the same position as me?

[Teacher Man]

Notsofree -

I too had a relatively mild initial outbreak. My doc said, "On a scale of 1-10, yours is maybe a 4." Yours sounds even

more mild. It still freaked me out and I'm still struggling with the mental and emotional weight of it; physically

it's gone, and hopefully it'll stay gone.

As far as sex goes, antivirals (Valacyclovir, Vatlrex, etc) greatly reduce the risk of transmission. That plus condoms

is probably the best way to reduce the chance of transmitting the virus to someone. I'd say, just tell him

straight out...explain what happened, and see how he responds. He be cool with it, or he may bolt. I just

think telling someone is the right thing to do; plus you get to see how people react - a glimpse into who they

are and where their feelings are about you.

Don't know if you've seen the Herpes Cure Research posts, but check them out when you

have time. Lots of good, current info. Hang in there, girl.

[notsofree]

Thanks Teacher Man, appreciate your feedback & I will defo tell him.

I presume this is common in the US (taking Valacyclovir, Vatlrex) but when I asked a specialist in the UK, he advised me its not necessary. I wonder if I can order this on-line or whether a prescription is advised....

Anyhoo, thanks again! You've made my night!

[Teacher Man]

Glad I could help! My doc said it may not be necessary either, but I decided to take it anyway so if and when

sex does come up, I won't be as likely to pass it on and I can tell the person that.

I was wondering...is there a negative stigma associated with herpes in the UK? Over here there's a HUGE stigma

attached to it. Herpes is the butt of every joke; it sucks. In my experiences in Europe in general, people are more

laid back so I was just curious.

[notsofree]

There is a massive stigma here in the UK as well.

I may make a private GP appointment to request a prescription but from what I have read, it's incredibly expensive on a monthly basis?

I think on the national health they do not prescribe drugs due to budgets.

May I ask, when did you find out?

Thanks in advance

[Teacher Man]

I found out about 3 months ago. I was dating a girl who worked in the medical field; she didn't know she had it,

and even though we used condoms I still got it. I was devastated when I found out, but I'm getting over it.

I've been with one girl since then - I met her on a herpes dating site. I'm taking a break for now, though.

I'm a little surprised there's such a stigma in the UK as well. I know I certainly had a negative and misinformed

opinion of it until I got it and got my facts straight. Anyway, it's just another of life's unexpected challenges.

However, based on all of the new research and breakthroughs, I'm hopeful there'll be a vaccine (if not a

cure) in the future. Until then, we just have to live life and accept our own vulnerability.

[notsofree]

Ah, so quite recently! You must have been really unlucky dude *hugs*. I am sorry to hound you but could I ask whether you have had another outbreak since?

Well my reaction when I was told says it all! I broke down in tears and sat with my head in my hands for hours. Like you, after I found out the facts I was actually ok about it. Last night though, I guess a demon bit me and started checking some forums....a lot of people were attacking the issue which made me nervous and I started stressing about it.

Funny how the emotional burdon is greater than the actual health side. Guess we should monitor our own situation for a year and live a healthy lifestyle which can only be a positive.

I believe firmly that technically this is not a big issue, as they say we carry lots of viruses in our system that our body supresses with great success. So many couples who have been together for 10 or 20 years have not passed the virus to each other so its not that bad. I really hope we are one of the lucky ones who dont get outbreaks again so we will need to be make sure our immune is in top shape.

Hang in there buddy, now is a good time to take a more spiritual perspective i.e. positive thinking and finding the benefits of our situation no matter how small. You had a great point with regards to telling a future partner (although scary & rejection is possible), we get to find out sooner the core of someone's mindset and their feelings towards us.

[dontknow1H]

I agree it is funny how the emotional side is a greater burden then the health side. I mean it itches a bit but thats nothing compared to the stress, loss of appititte, feeling weak and drained. I have been more of an emotional wreck. Plain and simple it just f**ks with me constantly but i'm new to it so hopefully with time comes healing.

[notsofree]

Hey, I look at it like a coldsore but in a different place. Time is a healer and it gets less stressful. The stigma is the culprit here, to hell with stereotypes. Hang in there