am i alone in this?

[lalalaurzie10]

i'm only 18 years old. I feel like my life is over and no one will want me. i just found out about 3 days ago. the doctor is still waiting for the results to come back from my test but she said it definitly looks like herpes. in 2 weeks i have to go back into the doc's office so they can test me for syphillis (sp) and gonnorhea (sp). not sure if i spelled those right but im very scared. if i am diagnosed with the other two on top of genital herpes i have no idea how ill live with myself. my boyfriend told me hes not going anywhere and he loves me no matter what but it still makes me feel like im a worthless peice of crap bc of the stigma that comes with having an std. please tell me im not alone....

[dinki]

i'm only 18 years old. I feel like my life is over and no one will want me. i just found out about 3 days ago. the doctor is still waiting for the results to come back from my test but she said it definitly looks like herpes. in 2 weeks i have to go back into the doc's office so they can test me for syphillis (sp) and gonnorhea (sp). not sure if i spelled those right but im very scared. if i am diagnosed with the other two on top of genital herpes i have no idea how ill live with myself. my boyfriend told me hes not going anywhere and he loves me no matter what but it still makes me feel like im a worthless peice of crap bc of the stigma that comes with having an std. please tell me im not alone....

I'm sorry about how ure feeling! its really depressing initially and you feel like crap but quite honestly syphillis can be treated with penicillin and gonorrhea can be treated with azithromycin. Thats the least of your problems.herpes on the other hand has no cure and can only be managed. it is lifelong except they come up with a treatment soon! anywayz not to make you feel worse but if you have it, its not the end of the world think of it as chicken pox, take your medicine and u'll be fine!

[dnice21]

Yea, the other two can be cured. Herps is the one that sucks, so I would focus your attention on dealing with that not worry about anything else. You probably don't have all 3 tho...they're just gonna test as a precaution. Actually, i'm not sure why they didn't just do all of the tests at the same time. When I got to my school health center to get STD checked they test me for everything BESIDES herpes. you gotta ask specifically for that.

Don't worry tho, your profile says youre in a relationship...so i'm guessing ur bf is the one who gave it to you...so obviously you're not alone. Plus, think of it this way...you were still attracted to whoever gave it to you regardless of the herpes, so it really makes no difference.

[notmydisease]

i cant understand for the life of me why they do not test for herpes on spot like they do most of the other std check ups. i get checked at my local health department and all my results come back good everytime until two months ago when i found out i have herpes. thats also when i found out that they were not checking me for all possible infections and diseases <hint herpes> wow! this whole ordeal has been a real battle for me because ive been practically dealing with it on my own havent involved family or friends. so ive spent the better part of it secluded crying and praying and so concerned about my boyfriend , who doesnt have it < we've been off and on for three years and i just recently found out while we were together> the guy i was suppose to spend the rest of my life with who promised he'll love me no matter what our love is so more deeper than this blah blah up and left without even saying goodbye .. he couldnt handle it . although i dont blame him i only wish he had not filled my head up with lies if he had doubt ... that hurt and i thought my life was over , i worried about how after i told new potential partners about my disease would they run like him too , i cried and pitied myself. after a while i felt stupid . here i was on the floor crying my eyes out about a disease that was not going to kill me! the most harm that it'll do is effect my sex life and relationships .. and all around me are people <innocent children> suffering dying every min. from much worse pain HIV,AIDS,cancer .... on and on ... shame on me or maybe shame on us. But best advice dont worry about being alone, 80% of america's population is infected with this disease and thats probably only the percent of people who know they have it , when it comes to relationships there are alot of guys out there <who are not jerks> who fully educate themselves and know about the disease and if they really like you they'll deal with it and be there for you. your 18 and im 20 dont know if you know this or not but life is so much more than finding someone that'll say "i love you too" your young <like me> focus on you , because relationships dont work all the time , thats life you'll get pass that stage .

[RealisticGal]

i'm only 18 years old. I feel like my life is over and no one will want me. i just found out about 3 days ago. the doctor is still waiting for the results to come back from my test but she said it definitly looks like herpes. in 2 weeks i have to go back into the doc's office so they can test me for syphillis (sp) and gonnorhea (sp). not sure if i spelled those right but im very scared. if i am diagnosed with the other two on top of genital herpes i have no idea how ill live with myself. my boyfriend told me hes not going anywhere and he loves me no matter what but it still makes me feel like im a worthless peice of crap bc of the stigma that comes with having an std. please tell me im not alone....

You aren't a piece of crap, whether you do have these infections or not. You are a human being just like all the rest of us. Anyone can get these things at any time. They don't make us any less than what we are. STDs are only considered "bad" because they involve sex, which some folks still buy into as being a naughty thing that nobody should be doing. But lo and behold, those same folks are out there doing it!

It's real "nice" that your boyfriend is being "supportive."

Honey, there's a good chance that if you have any or all of those things for which you are being tested that he is the source!

And you know what? That doesn't mean he is a bad guy either --- unless he knew he had infections and didn't tell you before passing them along.

Even if this guy is not the one who gave you whatever you have, he is really not much different from any other guy you have been with. They (and you) have human urges to have sex. And that is okay! Really!

[lalalaurzie10]

thank you for your kind and loving words everyone! when i went into the docs office they told me they didnt want to check for anything else because i was in so much pain. i had been trying to deal with it all by myself for a week because i didnt know what it was and then finally i had the guts to talk to my very religious mother about what was going on. i had been putting neosporin on it and even rubbing alcohol (yes it was the worst idea ever). but my mom yelled at me and then made me make an appointment. my mom was a virgin when she got married to my dad but my dad wasnt. he and his ex fiance we both virgins when they first did it... so idk if they would have any type of herpes. thats why they were so upset when i was told the news. im not sure my boyfriend is the source of it bc hes never had an outbreak and since this is my first one im not really sure how it happened. i have so many questions about this virus....

[RealisticGal]

thank you for your kind and loving words everyone! when i went into the docs office they told me they didnt want to check for anything else because i was in so much pain. i had been trying to deal with it all by myself for a week because i didnt know what it was and then finally i had the guts to talk to my very religious mother about what was going on. i had been putting neosporin on it and even rubbing alcohol (yes it was the worst idea ever). but my mom yelled at me and then made me make an appointment. my mom was a virgin when she got married to my dad but my dad wasnt. he and his ex fiance we both virgins when they first did it... so idk if they would have any type of herpes. thats why they were so upset when i was told the news. im not sure my boyfriend is the source of it bc hes never had an outbreak and since this is my first one im not really sure how it happened. i have so many questions about this virus....

Okay, here are a few facts that might help you get started understanding more about Herpes. I hope they will hit on some of the questions you have.

First of all, know this ---- herpes simplex is a sneaky little bastard of a virus that hides out and can infect folks without even showing any symptoms!

About 80% of the North American population has oral herpes.

• 80%! That's the majority of everyone around you!
  
• It is usually caused by the HSV1 strain, but can be caused by either.
  
• It can be spread without symptoms because the viral particles can come to the skin surface and shed (see What is Viral Shedding? from the links on the right side of this page).
  
  

About 70% of those who have herpes do not know it because it does not cause any symptoms they recognize.

• The symptoms can be minimal and mistaken for other things like razor burn, a yeast infection or even a bug bite.
  
  
• Even without symptoms, it is possible for those folks to pass the virus along to someone else by way of asymptomatic viral shedding
  
• Even though the giver might have no symptoms, those they give it to might have very noticeable symptoms.
  

Oral herpes is usually acquired before a person reaches adulthood.

• It is often passed by way of casual (non-sexual) contact like an innocent kiss on the cheek from your old auntie, mom, grandpa, dad, cousin, family friend, etc.
  
• Another possibility is a child sharing a saliva-covered toy with another child.
  

It is entirely possible that your mom and lots of other folks you know could have oral herpes without even realizing it.

• About 8 out of 10 folks have oral herpes.
  
• About 1 in 4 women have genital herpes.
  
• About 1 in 10 men have genital herpes.
  
• My mom was also a virgin prior to marriage, but she got cold sores as a child.
  
  
• I never knew that until recently when she mentioned it, and I am in my 50s!
  
• Thus, she has oral herpes (even though she has not had a sore in decades).
  

Oral herpes can be transferred to the genitals by way of oral sex.

• That may be how your boyfriend could have given you genital herpes.
  
  
• Even if he has never had a cold sore on his lips that he can remember, he could have oral herpes.
  
• If you have had oral sex with anyone before him, that's another possibility.
  
• One other way it could happen is if you got oral herpes, then touched your finger to a sore or area of facial skin that was shedding virus without symptoms, then immediately touched your genitals without washing your hands.
  
  
• That usually only happens with a new oral infection, before the immune system forms antibodies to fight the virus.
  
  

[lalalaurzie10]

i seriously have no idea what i'd do with out you! thank you so much for your continuing support and answers to my questions!

[RealisticGal]

You're welcome, hon. That is why this web site is here!