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Dating with herpes...


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Hi guys :wavey: just stumbled upon this site.

I'm not sure if I have herpes. I thought I did, and got a negative test result. Then my boyfriend after half a year broke out with similar symptoms. We've never had sores, just breaks in the skin that look like cuts. I had a couple clear blisters, and he got very small red bumps :confused:.

He said if he did get it, it's not a problem for us, and that I didn't do anything wrong, but I just feel awful. It's possible we'll get married, but if we don't, I want to imagine that he'll be able to have a very happy sex life.

So what's the dating scene like for someone with herpes? How open minded are people about it? Is there a way to find other people who have it, so there's no big deal?

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Hummel welcome. This is a great site for support and information about HSV. Sometimes those tests are not always accurate. I was diagnosed with GHSV-1 from a visual exam which is the best way to determine if you do in fact have HSV. I had a culture taken from an active OB which then determined what type of HSV it was. Next time either you or your boyfriend have symptoms, I'd go see a doctor immediately. Normally, this is a great site for support. There's a lot of people who have had success with dating and live normal lives. HSV is very common, something I did not know prior because of the social stigma. If you and your boyfriend do in fact have HSV then it's important you both don't play the blame game. HSV affects many people at different times and some have gotten this from someone who did not know. Look around the forum as well as the sidebars for more information. Research has really helped me out a lot! Best of luck :)

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Thanks sc!

It's kind of a problem that our symptoms are so mild. It's hard to get to the doctor's in time. I guess it's time to do buckle down and research it. It's kind of a depressing thing to look into, but what can you do?

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @CathM if you received oral sex in the days before the sores first appeared then it is important to be sure of type - culture tests do not type. Ask to see your result and see what it says. Is your partner going to test? This is also helpful.
    • CathM
      Hello@WilsoInAus I only know that they took a swab and then I was notified that I was positive for HSV 2. I don’t know have any knowledge about whether it was a culture test?
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @CathM and welcome to the website. Yes there is little doubt you were infected by this new partner. This would have happened 2-10 days before the sores appeared. There is one question to settle quickly. Was your swab test a PCR with a result of HSV-2 detected. Or was it a culture test?
    • CathM
      Hello. Just been diagnosed with HSV2 after a swab test. Absolutely devastated at the diagnosis. Had symptoms after sleeping with my new partner. Symptoms started about 6 weeks after our first encounter. Did I get it from him? We split just before the diagnosis. I feel like my life is over, please help 😥
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