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Ok tomorrow you wake up and you don't have herpes....


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You test negative there is absolutely no chance you have it (this is under the rant section for a reason), would you forever change your life? Would you always std test every partner? You're on vacation in Europe and it's your last night with the hottest guy/girl on the planet, you know he or she doesn't have aids... what would you do? You meet some new guy or girl with herpes, what would you do? Would life be different?

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Wow bat,

good question! My first thought would be that I would go hog wild! Then reality kicked in and I would be very discriminating with my sexual partners. If I was on vacation in Eur, I'm thinking I would break out the Saran Wrap in that situation! LOL!! Meeting someone with herpes, knowing the rejection we face, I think I would quiz them about their ob's, what supressives they were on, and what they were doing to prevent the spread of it. Then if the answers were what I know they should be, I would take the risk.

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Great Question!!!

In my case it would mean a whole new world all together..I have HSV-1 orally and have had it since early childhood. People have teased me and made jokes about "bad" oral sex. Partners have left me over this and I have felt "different" from an early age. I have left relationships because I was scared of oral sex and other issues.

So for me it would be a life I didn't ever really get to live because HSV had been part of me as long as I can think. It would be nice to be "normal" because I don't think I would really do much different...there is one love I wish I could go back and be with. Aside from that I was not really a one night stand kinda girl.

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I think the answer to that question for anyone would depend on how dramatically herpes has affected them.

Someone who sufferes frequent and/or severe obs, or has experienced rejection based on the virus, would be more inclined to exercise more caution, and be less trusting, of prospective mates.

Those who haven't had to deal with many of the negatives would be more inclined to just go their merry way, and let the chips fall where they may.

I have to say, I'd be among the latter. What can I say... I'm ashamed of myself. :sadfacetoday:

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Hmmm interesting question....

For me personally, I don't think my life would change. I would still be cautious and ALWAYS insist on protection and open dialogue about sexual health; I would still be far more tolerant of people with health imperfections; I would still check in here and offer support and I'd still champion understanding and acceptance for those with herpes.....

Being ignorant of the sexual health of myself and my partners got me here in the first place. If I didn't get herpes, it could've been something else that took away my right to have children and that to me would be far worse.

But to back up MsLucy, I'm probably one of the luckier ones with mild and infrequent OB's so it's easy for me to say.

Interesting thread though.

And best festive wishes to you and my other buddies here - I hope you all have a safe holiday.


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  • 2 weeks later...

This is a fantastic mental exercise. Having had herpes, if I suddenly didn't have it anymore, I would still be wary of unprotected sex with new partners and would insist on condom and dental dam usage. In fact, I'd still be wary and a little freaked out even with safe sex practices being implemented because they don't completely protect you from getting std's. Yes, I'd definitely be more paranoid than the average bear about it all.

If I met someone with herpes and I didn't have it, hate to admit it but I would be quite wary of contracting it and I'd have to really be interested in a long term relationship with that person to risk having sex with them. Same with people with HPV. Hell, with HIV in the world, I don't understand the mindset of people who go around having unsafe sex, or sex with whomever or many, many partners. I read allegedly true accounts online all the time of people engaging in unsafe sex, boasting stories of it and yet I rarely see contracting an std as part of the tale telling. You can't tell me that people who go to sex parties and are swingers or have many sexual partners haven't caught SOMETHING but that never is part of the storytelling. I wonder how many people are leaving that out and painting false fantasy lives to other people who might be believing everything they read as gospel truth.

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Its hard to say. I was very educated about sexual health prior to contracting this--I had never had sex without a condom in my life. I knew that it was always possible, but I figured that with a condom and no visible lesions on my partner, I was pretty much going to be okay. And I think, probably for the majority of people this is true. I am just one of the unlucky few. I havnt really had any one night stands, but I have had a lot of partners. I have friends who are pretty promiscuous, some practice safer sex methods, some don't, and theyre clean as a whistle (or so they think--I'm not sure of their testing habits).

I made a vow with myself when I became sexually active that I would get tested every 6 months since some std's are asymptomatic. I think if I didnt have this, I'd still be doing that. I've always been extremely responsible with my sexual health, so I dont think this would change that.

As for dating someone with it? Prior to I definitely was scared, I know there was medicine to suppress/prevent transmitting it to a partner, but I didn't know a lot more about it. I think it would depend on the person presented the information to me. If we hadnt been sexually active, he'd allow to me to go a doc and talk about it, and have good info, then it wouldn't have stopped me.

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      Newly diagnosed, looking for people to connect with in Nebraska, Lincoln even better 
    • Throwaway765
      Thanks for your response! I received unprotected oral 10 weeks ago and immediately after had stinging in my glans and weird nerve pain. I am positive for HSV1 due to cold sores I got as a child, but as recent as 9 weeks after this exposure have tested negative for HSV2.    im nervous that I may have acquired hsv1 again on my genitals since HSV2 is rarely acquired from oral sex and doesn’t shed hardly at all, but haven’t seen any sores yet. Just weird symptoms and this started recently in my buttcrack when I was taking antibiotics.   Any advice or perspective would be greatly appreciated. @WilsoInAus
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @Throwaway765 and welcome. There is absolutely no concern over this being related to herpes. Something must be concerning you as to the possibility of herpes… what is it? 
    • Throwaway765
      @CHTany thoughts? Thanks!
    • Throwaway765
      @WilsoInAus saw you responded to others, would appreciate any thoughts.
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