Not Very Happy

[TheQuietThings]

I'm new to this.

I'm feeling very alone, scared, and uncomfortable.

I keep reading peoples success stories in terms of getting past the initial shock... but I don't believe you can live your entire life feeling completely normal.

[reallybubbly]

I just wanted to say that we are totally in the same boat-- I'm new to this as well and am having a hard time coping with it. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to move on-- dating was hard enough without having this hanging over my head! Anyway, I wish I could be more helpful, but I did want you to know that at the very least, you're not alone.

[TheQuietThings]

It really helps to know that I'm not alone. And you are right, dating is hard enough on it's own! Especially being 26 and seeing all of your friends settle down and get married and you are so doubtful that you will ever have that joy... and now THIS! Sometimes I feel as if life is out to get me or something :/ I try and think that life could be so much worse... and yes it could. But I really wish I didn't have this added stress and physical burden to deal with

[norcallove]

Hi QuietThings and reallybubbly. Welcome to this site. It has been extremely helpful for me. There is a lot of great info. to the right and a lot of supportive people on here who understand what you're going through as well. The chat room is also a good place to go talk to people. You both are definitely not alone.

My 1st OB started the day after Thanksgiving, so I am pretty new to this as well. It has already gotten a lot better for me though. I hope things start getting better for the both of you soon.

QuietThings - I am 26 as well.

[devastatedlove]

My first OB was Christmas Day, also very new.

You all aren't alone and idk if I will ever feel normal either.

[Soraya1]

Hi all

As a 39 year old woman who has had this virus for over 11 years, I can tell you from experience that you can lead a normal, happy life with HSV. Sure, it adds a little complication to dating, but it does not in any way mean that you will have to spend the rest of your life single or alone. Since diagnosis I have had 8 or 9 boyfriends, and now I am settled down with the man I would like to marry. He does not carry the virus.

Also, the longer you have it, the fewer the outbreaks, as your body builds up a small resistance - you will have fewer physical symptoms.

Any person worth their salt will be understanding and willing to work around herpes. It is not such a big deal. It does not make you infertile, nor will it kill you or land you in hospital. I know, it is the stigma that causes the most pain – the feelings of being tainted. Well, I don't feel tainted anymore. It took time to get here, but really, having an outbreak for me now is no more inconvenient that having a cold etc. I see this virus for what it is – a virus – a virus that any human being can acquire, regardless of how "clean" and careful they are.

This site is great for support and for information. You are definitely not alone! Remember, herpes is something you have, not something you are.

Soraya1 x

[Expat]

Soraya, I totally agree with everything you said. it's a virus, not a felony conviction. And I plan to use it to keep predatory men away. I seem to meet a lot of men who are interested in my vagina, but not in me. At least now I won't have to worry about that anymore. Bright side!

I think my first outbreak is finally healing, since I can pee without wanting to kill myself. It still burns, but the pain is much less. I have a strange stiffness in my joints though, especially hands and feet.