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Early this year, I started dating this amazing girl and everything was great and then literally 3 weeks after the first time we were intimate the H appeared down there....Not painful, not itchy, nothing...just visual. If I didnt look down there I would not have even noticed. I went to the doc and visually he said yep its the H and he didnt swab rather he took a blood test...5 days later, I called the doc office and they said that they forgot to send the sample to the lab and that they would call me in a few days. So finally he did end up calling me and said basically good evening you tested positive have a good night, that was it, nothing more. My girl was very comforting and she said she didnt care either way. She told me that in the past year or so she got one or two cold sores and she asked her doc for Valtrex for future ob's, she said the Valtrex really helped. It is obvious to now connect the dots a bit. But she said she didnt have the H, yet she never has been tested for it specifically. This girl you would not never imagine that she had it, so this goes to prove what everyone in the forum has been saying. Anyway, so I wait to see if I anything further happens and again she doesnt care one way or the other. I am thinking that the test with that the doc was flawed. About three months later I get tested again by a different doc, and the tests (2 different) results were positive for recent antibodies but negative for type 1 and type 2. So now this puts me in a complete tailspin. The doc tells me yes, I have recently been exposed to the virus but have tested negative for 1 and 2. So then no Ob's for about 2 months. During this time, the relationship with the girl concludes and I am on my own to figure out what the heck is really going on. So over a 6 month period...there was 2 ob's that were only visual....no pain, no itchy....a few the size of pin head down below. And then in November another ob....so I go back to the doc...visually again she says its the H, and takes a swab test. She calls me 3 days later and says that the ob was too old because the test came back negative. She then prescribes me daily acicyclovir so I have been taking that since and thanks to this website super lysine as well. Its been almost 8 months now and I am still struggling with what the heck has been going on. I have seen 2 docs and have had 3 blood tests and 1 swab and the only thing that has show up is recent antibody exposure (this was about 4 months ago). I am supposed to go back and get another type test done to see if the results are any different. For me the mental struggle is the hardest part in this, as the ob's are not painful whatsoever. This website is very helpful and comforting to say the least. I hope for the best for everyone on this website and its comforting to know that I am not alone in this mental struggle.

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Hi there and welcome. Firstly, if I had a doctor like that I would sack him! To say 'good evening you tested positive have a good night' is downright disgusting, insensitive and not very professional. Imagine what he says to patients who are just finding out they have terminal cancer or something? "you have 6 months to live, have a nice day".

If you are indeed infected, it is very likely it was caused by your girlfriend's cold sores when she performed oral sex on you (if she did). You mentioned she was on valtrex for her cold sores. Was it suppressive therapy do you know? Did she have to take a tablet every day, outbreak or no outbreak? Or did she just take one each day during an outbreak?

The next sore you get, go 'straight' to the doctors. Swabs are really only reliable up to 48 hours after initial symptoms. That may even be 72 hours but I would not be leaving it that long. Have you had any other outbreaks since the one in November? Are you still on the acyclovir?

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Hi Aquarius, thanks for your response. The ex gf did not have a cold sore at the time and she took valtrex only during outbreaks which were very infrequent according to her (2 times in the last 2 years), so I am thinking that she was still shedding the virus without a visual sore. Since November I have had zero outbreaks but plan on going in this week to get another blood test. The next time I do get an Ob (hopefully not soon) I will go to the clinic right away. I was actually away on a business trip during my last ob which delayed the clinic visit beyond 72 hours. In my mind I have accepted the fact that I do have the "H", but I still would like to get results on a type specific test. As you read before, my experience in testing for this is not the best. I am still taking daily acyclovir + lysine + other vitamins and I always work out etc. Once I get an accurate read on exactly what I have, the next step will be getting back into the dating scene which I realize will be another challenge in itself. Basically the ex gf, the doc, and you are the only ones I have told about this (besides the anonymous people that read my 1st post). When I was with my ex gf the thought didnt even cross my mind about asking about the "H", and now there is not a minute of the day I dont think about it. Thank you again for your comments.

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I asked about the visible cold sore or not to work out if the transmission was through viral shedding, and it now certainly looks that way. Also, the fact that she was on episodic treatment with valtrex also means she still could have been shedding. If she had been on suppressive therapy, that would have further decreased the chance of transmission.

You would be amazed how many people from here get their first outbreak or first show of symptoms when they are away from home. Some have even been in a foreign country. Our best defense against herpes is keeping a healthy immune system. So ensure you have a good diet and get lots of sleep. I would also have mentioned exercise there but you have already mentioned that you work out.

Getting back into the dating scene doesn't have to be difficult or something that you dread. You only need to tell someone once things are going to turn physical. As I have mentioned to a few members here on the forum..don't make the talk serious because chances are she will act the same way and possibly run. Keep it casual but informative. The ones that do run weren't worth it anyway. However, you should find many people who aren't fazed by it. Just make sure you know the risks and are well informed yourself..and then go out and have some fun!

Don't beat yourself up over not thinking to ask her about herpes. Most of us have not thought to either. The fact is that as she gets cold sores she probably did not think she could transmit it genitally to you, especially when she wasn't even having an outbreak. So move on, what is done is done. I'm glad you have found us here and we will help you in any way we can.

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    • sgt98
      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @NerdP423 and welcome to the website. You raise a lot of points and I think the best way to address your concerns is add some comments at each key point. I've copied your note again below and added these comments in square brackets. I appreciate any insight (even speculation) as to what has been going on with me. I'm a 37y/o M. I last was intimate with a new partner on 2/11/2022, and a few days later started having a huge amount of discomfort in my face. [The first thing that happens though is that herpes causes lesions or at least some skin based disruption. Other symptoms are then related to the actions of the immune system responding to the virus. Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. [If this was a PCR then this will be very conclusive.] Practitioner said it may come back negative because it was already open. However the lab report noted that it definitely didn't look like what you'd expect a typical first herpes outbreak to look like [how would the lab know??]. All blood tests negative so far. I had two western blots, the second one was nine months after exposure. [Two negative Westernblots!!! Many that's real convincing]. All other swabs also negative. I went to urgent care, because I know the timeliness of when the Swab is taken matters. One time, a swab was not done, because practitioner said it was folliculitis and wouldn't swab it (It was at my belt line). [Belt line is highly unlikely to relate to herpes.]   A blood test revealed I had low-ish B12 (technically in range, but at the very low end, especially for a man of my size). I had a series of B12 injections, and I am taking a B12 supplement. I am not taking any lysine or arginine at the moment. I was taking the Arganine to see if I could induce an outbreak. [This is irrelevant, there is no known linkage between herpes outbreaks and arginine/lysine intake - its a myth - and B12 infers nothing.] I think what I am asking is - has anyone here ever repeatedly tested negative over and over again over long period of time, before getting a definitive answer, be a positive test, or something else? [The answer to this is: Extremely few people with a HSV-1 infection and even more rarely HSV-2 test repeatedly negative on Westernblot and actually carry the virus. Of the cases that I know of that had delayed detection by a swab and negative blood tests in the meantime (and that's only 3-4 cases), they had some form of lesions within days of infection but did not obtain a swab for various reasons and then obtained a positive swab of a subsequent lesion with the record being 11 months later. A couple of the cases did have some 'background' symptoms they thought might be related to herpes but that isn't ascertained and some did not have any unusual symptoms at all apart from the lesions. Hence as you did not have lesions around your mouth or lips within days of the last sexual encounter as is exceptionally common for a primary oral HSV-1 infection, that pretty much rules out herpes orally as it is. The fact that you had no genital symptoms for a month also rules out genital herpes. I am not aware of anyone at all who has genuinely gone on to test positive by swab or blood in your specific circumstances. There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
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