2011 could only be better

[challenged]

Early this year, I started dating this amazing girl and everything was great and then literally 3 weeks after the first time we were intimate the H appeared down there....Not painful, not itchy, nothing...just visual. If I didnt look down there I would not have even noticed. I went to the doc and visually he said yep its the H and he didnt swab rather he took a blood test...5 days later, I called the doc office and they said that they forgot to send the sample to the lab and that they would call me in a few days. So finally he did end up calling me and said basically good evening you tested positive have a good night, that was it, nothing more. My girl was very comforting and she said she didnt care either way. She told me that in the past year or so she got one or two cold sores and she asked her doc for Valtrex for future ob's, she said the Valtrex really helped. It is obvious to now connect the dots a bit. But she said she didnt have the H, yet she never has been tested for it specifically. This girl you would not never imagine that she had it, so this goes to prove what everyone in the forum has been saying. Anyway, so I wait to see if I anything further happens and again she doesnt care one way or the other. I am thinking that the test with that the doc was flawed. About three months later I get tested again by a different doc, and the tests (2 different) results were positive for recent antibodies but negative for type 1 and type 2. So now this puts me in a complete tailspin. The doc tells me yes, I have recently been exposed to the virus but have tested negative for 1 and 2. So then no Ob's for about 2 months. During this time, the relationship with the girl concludes and I am on my own to figure out what the heck is really going on. So over a 6 month period...there was 2 ob's that were only visual....no pain, no itchy....a few the size of pin head down below. And then in November another ob....so I go back to the doc...visually again she says its the H, and takes a swab test. She calls me 3 days later and says that the ob was too old because the test came back negative. She then prescribes me daily acicyclovir so I have been taking that since and thanks to this website super lysine as well. Its been almost 8 months now and I am still struggling with what the heck has been going on. I have seen 2 docs and have had 3 blood tests and 1 swab and the only thing that has show up is recent antibody exposure (this was about 4 months ago). I am supposed to go back and get another type test done to see if the results are any different. For me the mental struggle is the hardest part in this, as the ob's are not painful whatsoever. This website is very helpful and comforting to say the least. I hope for the best for everyone on this website and its comforting to know that I am not alone in this mental struggle.

[AquariusAngel]

Hi there and welcome. Firstly, if I had a doctor like that I would sack him! To say 'good evening you tested positive have a good night' is downright disgusting, insensitive and not very professional. Imagine what he says to patients who are just finding out they have terminal cancer or something? "you have 6 months to live, have a nice day".

If you are indeed infected, it is very likely it was caused by your girlfriend's cold sores when she performed oral sex on you (if she did). You mentioned she was on valtrex for her cold sores. Was it suppressive therapy do you know? Did she have to take a tablet every day, outbreak or no outbreak? Or did she just take one each day during an outbreak?

The next sore you get, go 'straight' to the doctors. Swabs are really only reliable up to 48 hours after initial symptoms. That may even be 72 hours but I would not be leaving it that long. Have you had any other outbreaks since the one in November? Are you still on the acyclovir?

[challenged]

Hi Aquarius, thanks for your response. The ex gf did not have a cold sore at the time and she took valtrex only during outbreaks which were very infrequent according to her (2 times in the last 2 years), so I am thinking that she was still shedding the virus without a visual sore. Since November I have had zero outbreaks but plan on going in this week to get another blood test. The next time I do get an Ob (hopefully not soon) I will go to the clinic right away. I was actually away on a business trip during my last ob which delayed the clinic visit beyond 72 hours. In my mind I have accepted the fact that I do have the "H", but I still would like to get results on a type specific test. As you read before, my experience in testing for this is not the best. I am still taking daily acyclovir + lysine + other vitamins and I always work out etc. Once I get an accurate read on exactly what I have, the next step will be getting back into the dating scene which I realize will be another challenge in itself. Basically the ex gf, the doc, and you are the only ones I have told about this (besides the anonymous people that read my 1st post). When I was with my ex gf the thought didnt even cross my mind about asking about the "H", and now there is not a minute of the day I dont think about it. Thank you again for your comments.

[AquariusAngel]

I asked about the visible cold sore or not to work out if the transmission was through viral shedding, and it now certainly looks that way. Also, the fact that she was on episodic treatment with valtrex also means she still could have been shedding. If she had been on suppressive therapy, that would have further decreased the chance of transmission.

You would be amazed how many people from here get their first outbreak or first show of symptoms when they are away from home. Some have even been in a foreign country. Our best defense against herpes is keeping a healthy immune system. So ensure you have a good diet and get lots of sleep. I would also have mentioned exercise there but you have already mentioned that you work out.

Getting back into the dating scene doesn't have to be difficult or something that you dread. You only need to tell someone once things are going to turn physical. As I have mentioned to a few members here on the forum..don't make the talk serious because chances are she will act the same way and possibly run. Keep it casual but informative. The ones that do run weren't worth it anyway. However, you should find many people who aren't fazed by it. Just make sure you know the risks and are well informed yourself..and then go out and have some fun!

Don't beat yourself up over not thinking to ask her about herpes. Most of us have not thought to either. The fact is that as she gets cold sores she probably did not think she could transmit it genitally to you, especially when she wasn't even having an outbreak. So move on, what is done is done. I'm glad you have found us here and we will help you in any way we can.