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Hi everyone, I'm new


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I just found out about a month ago that my boyfriend is a carrier of HSV, of coarse I found out the hard way- I received it. He never had any signs or symptoms and had no idea. Both him and I have great jobs in the medical field, which makes this even more embarassing and frustrating.

I've only been in 3 long term relationships, he is my fourth and I'm really hoping it works out. He felt/feels awful and has been great in being there for me while I'm trying to deal with it, which I've had a very hard time doing. My doctor recommended that I find others to talk to on a website, so here I am.

I've been a wreck, I'm young and if for some reason this relationship wouldn't work out, I feel like nobody else will want anything to do with a girl with HSV. I also don't want to feel like I have to stay with him because of it, but right now everything is going great I've just been thinking alot about all of this.

I don't get it : ( I'm not a bad person but I put myself in that category now. I'm hoping that talking with others who know how I feel will help.

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welcome :)


Most people catch it from someone who doesnt know! Why are you ashamed? Its just the same as coldsores except down there...if u have genital herpes!!

you will feel ashamed, disgusted, worthless etc....basically crap!!!!

Because something has happened to you which you had no control over......

And yes its a fact it may come back..... but never as bad as the first time...and it can be managed via eating right...being healthy.. or meds....

You can still get married, have kids, fall in love, have the best sex ever.... and hey when u are able to have sex .... you will make the most of it.....

And yes it is a fact some people are ignorant and asses....and may not see past the "herpes" just explain it is coldsores..but down there.....

1 out of 4 people that have genital herpes have no symptoms...thats why its spread soooo easily.....so techincally you are safer sleeping with someone who knows than someone who doesnt have a clue!!!!

Also....is a good test whether someone realllly likes you or is just taking the piss.... someone who really sees you for YOU will not even think about the herpes...... sayin that it is one of the most common things in the WORLD... yet most ppl dont talk about it...over 80% of the population has it... and has been around since beginning of time... you have nothing to worry about. Herpes tends to weed out guys that arnt really in it for you.....

You can either go down two routes here..... think its ruined your life and you...

which it really hasnt......

you could have caught HIV, a disability, be infertile.....would you rather have that???

Dont get me wrong....its tough at first because you feel angry and have lost a lil bit of control.... but u really havnt...if anything herpes has made me stronger... and made me really take control of my life....

If anything if a good reminder that anyday you can wake up with something wrong with you...be that cancer, a virus, a disability etc...so make the most of your life, love greatly, have amazing sex, be kind, considerate, love your body!, be healthly and your virus will fade with time!!!

Only you will stand inbetween you and happiness.


Also many people one here you will find are married to non h partners, have kids etc!

http://theherpesblog.com/people-with-herpes/ < 20 years, non h partner

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boo is right. First of all your not a bad person at all. Herpies does not decrimates between good and bad. Both good people and bad people get herpies. It is not your fault so dont blame yourself. As for the medical field so am I as long as you wash your hands you be ok

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The same thing happened to me - and probably almost everyone else who has herpes! No reason to be ashamed. I hope that you two stay together for a while, because it is very nice to have someone to cope with. But please remember, 1 in 4 people has this - you do have a relationship future no matter what. Nothing about you has changed - and you will still find people who see all of your good qualities despite a virus.

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hi there @ScubaSteeve and welcome to the website. If you have had genital HSV for 10 years there is a chance the testing did not distinguish type. The answers to the following questions will help a bit: - where are your outbreaks specifically and what frequency? - have you had any IgG antibody testing for HSV?
    • CHT
      Hi LLS.... I'm very sorry you are having so much discomfort from this outbreak.... the first outbreaks are always the most troublesome but  they will get less aggressive as time passes.  I personally find that valacyclovir is much more effective than just acyclovir so you may want to ask your doctor about switching and seeing if that helps.  Ask your doctor on Saturday if you really need to take a higher dose.... and as WilsoInAus suggested, I would ask for a 1,000 mg tablets with at least a 90 day supply to start.  As for pain, you may want to ask your doctor for a Rx of Zovirax ointment.... it contains acyclovir and the ointment form calms the sores down and reduces friction.... it should lessen the pain down there. As for diet, many people, myself included, learn what foods often act as triggers for outbreaks.  I can tell you from experience that the following are big outbreak triggers for me:   1. Too much caffeine (I've basically stopped coffee and have learned to enjoy a variety of decaf teas) 2. Any kind of nuts - including corn and even popcorn 3. Chocolate 4. Too much alcohol - particularly red wines  5. If possible, avoid any kind of steroids/immunosuppressants like prednisone in high doses.... anything that suppresses your immune system will give the virus free rein to run amuck - I learned this the hard way! 6, Stress.... although easier said than done, it will help with your overall health.  Studies show that stress is a common HSV outbreak trigger.... try to find a way to lower your stress levels. 7. lack of sleep.... personally, if I get less than 6  hours of sleep this often leads to an outbreak within a day or two.... work at getting a good 7-8 hours of solid sleep each night (I often use melatonin to help here). Some people find certain vitamins that boost the immune system, like zinc, help with overall healing and can lessen the severity of outbreaks and possibly prevent some outbreaks.  I personally take a number of antiviral/anti-inflammatory/anti-oxidant herbs/vitamins not so much for my HSV2 but for overall health (I don't have the healthiest of diets so, I feel I need to supplement to offset my lousy diet).  A google search of supplements that help with herpes will provide you with a long list of vitamins/herbs that may be of benefit but, try not to get carried away - many/most won't make much, if any, difference.... but, you can always experiment. As WilsoInAus also mentioned, a healthy diet is likely your best option. I should also mention that while some find vitamin C to be helpful, I found it to have the opposite effect.... the more I took the more it seemed to provoke outbreaks.   Things are always the toughest after initial infection.... it's going to get better, trust me.  Stick with the antiviral meds daily, try not to obsess on the fact you've contracted this virus, and try to avoid some of those triggers relating to outbreaks.  With time the number of outbreaks starts to decline and when you do have an outbreak, they will become less virulent. As WilsoInAus mentioned, a lot of your achiness, pain and overall flu-like symptoms are related to the fact your immune system is adjusting to this virus.... these lousy symptoms are just your immune system in action working to do its best to fight this virus... with time these symptoms will also lessen and disappear.   I hope this helps in some way.... please let us know if you have more questions.... and remember, go easy on yourself right now.... turn to those things in your life that calm you and also distract you from obsessing over the virus situation.  You are going to be just fine.... just give yourself some time to get past this initial unpleasant phase.... it will get better, I promise.    
    • Justme88
    • ScubaSteeve
      I was diagnosed with HPV2 ten years ago, which I contracted from an ex-girlfriend who was unaware she had it. Since then, I've lived a reserved life, not really opening up to others. There was only one person I felt interested in enough to share this with, but it didn't work out. There have been a few instances where I've let my guard down, had a night out, and ended up sleeping with someone. I know I should feel guilty about not discussing it beforehand, but I found it challenging because they know my family, and it felt overwhelming at the time, and I had alot of pent up desires from not ever being with someone for a long time.  After finally opening up to someone and realizing it wasn't the end of the world, I now understand that finding the right partner might be a matter of numbers. I desire to have more intimate relationships but need to find better ways to approach this topic and ensure I never spread it.  Thank you all for providing a space where I can be myself.
    • i82much2young
      My swab results won’t be ready for another 5 days. Is there any harm is continuing the Valacyclovir? I was prescribed 1gm tablets for 10 days.
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