Jump to content

My Future & My Doom


Recommended Posts

Just need to post somewhere and express myself =( I just read John Cheever's short story "reunion" and a line in that story described EXACTLY what I am feeling right now "My Future and My Doom". I say this because, after experiencing symptoms of a "full blown outbreak", on December 3rd, I was able to make it to the gyn on December 16th.

I had to wait a long time because to be seen because I started menstruating the day before my first appt was scheduled. I don't even know how I got through the pain (didn't receive the medication until the I was almost healed) this but my follow up appt is tomorrow...I was immediately visually diagnosed, swabbed and then given prescriptions for Valtrex, Zovirax & Metro Gel. So now, I will get the results of the swabbing and I am sure it will be positive.:(

I have TOO many of the symtpoms of herpes. The whole outbreak thing happened in the exact stages described on medical websites. First a rash, then lesions, then discharge from the lesions, then open ulcers and then they it healed. This was all accompanied with watery vaginal discharge, random sharp pains throughout my genital & legs and swollen lymph nodes on both sides in the genital area. The doctor took 1 look and said herpes..

They guy who I got this virus from is an unsupportive, selfish moron who is in denial. He also called me a "vengeful bitch" and told me that I already had a bump. 100 % False. And if I already had a bump, Why did you take the condom off and feel the need to not protect YOURSELF? Ugh! Just to think exactly one month ago - I wasn't dealing this at all! Life as I know it, feels like it's over. November 28th is the day we had sex, then again on December 1st. Symptoms started 2 day's after December 1st. I dont feel comfortable talking to my parents or friends about this so this forum is my only place to vent :madd:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey.... first off.... I would say not to count your chicks before they hatch, but that does sound like herpes. This is the perfect place to vent and everyone is really supportive.

You will get through this.... research as MUCH as you can, and this forum is a great place to learn about things that will help. For me.... my diagnosis has forced me to take a better look at my overall health. I eat too much sugar, too much chocolate, I don't deal with stress well, I eat quite poorly most of the time and all those things are things I knew I should change, but it was easy to neglect. Well now it's not, it's easier to remember to put the chocolate bar down when I know it could trigger or worsen an outbreak. Sometimes positive life changes can happen when you get this kind of news. So try to focus on the positive.

I hope you told the idiot that gave it to you to get bent!!! That's totally disgraceful of him. However, you can't change what has happened and holding the hate in is unhealthy (from a mental and physical standpoint) He isn't going to make it go away and sounds like he doesn't even care, but please don't let that affect YOUR healing.

In the future there are a lot of understanding people out there, and think of it this way.... if you wait to have sex with someone until you trust them with telling them, that's not always the worst thing in the long run! Anyone who deserves you will understand and the ones who run for the hills are just ignorant or uneducated and want to keep it that way. Not someone you want to be with. As you learn to deal with your outbreaks and what works for you, having herpes can act as an "asshole filter" in the dating world. You can have a very fulfilling sexual relationship with someone, you just have to take precautions.

My <3 goes out to you, but you came to the right place.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks so much. Your response means a lot to me. I am just going thru a lot of emotions and thinking all sorts of weird thoughts.. Wishing I could go back in time, but I know thats not logical or possible. I hate the clinic that I have to visit (I was too ashamed to go to my regular gyn,) and now I am just thinking that I wouldn't even be going through this if I hadnt met this guy. UGH! We had a terrible snow storm, the streets are snowy & icy and I have a LONG walk to the clinic. I will then be harassed by anti abortions protestors once I hit the block of the medical center...only to receive some bad news. Afterwards, I have to work 4pm to 12am and keep a smile on my face for 9 hours =/ I am just not looking forward to this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ugh, I know how you feel. It's a little different in Canada as far as docs offices go... but here if you don't have a regular family doctor and have to go to a walk in clinic, the doctors are just IDIOTS! When I got my first OB, i called in sick to work so I could race to a clinic and get it swabbed. I'd had symptoms before but this was the first messy outbreak that I felt was actually swabable. The doc I saw told me that it's impossible to have a herpes outbreak inside on the cervix. WTF!

I Had to sit there and tell him the story and how I "Really think it is"... it was so degrading to have to defend why I think it's herpes... as if I'm trying to convince myself and him like it's something I want. As soon as he saw the bumps he worte me a script, and when the test came back.... I could have drop kicked him. I told him straight to his face he should loose his medical license for being so uneducated. Tool.

I'd probably scream at the anti abortion people something to the effect of:

EFF OFF... I just got diagnosed with herpes, and if it weren't for clinics like this I wouldn't be receiving medical care cause I was too embarassed to go to my gynecologist due to the stigmas of ignorant backwards thinking individuals.

*and tear up their pamphlets and throw it at them* lol ... specially if i was hurting from an OB and pms at the same time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First off, make sure what you have is actually herpes - make the doc order you to get blood tests: it would be best to know for sure, rather than just going off speculation.

Secondly, I'll share some helpful things with you, as I was just newly diagnosed myself in October.....

- Don't expect the person that gave it to you to admit it. I thought if I pestered the jerk long enough, that he would go in and get tested and be a responsible adult and at least apologize to me for ruining my life....he never has and I don't expect he ever will.

- Don't expect a new guy to really completely understand, but make sure you tell him early enough and of course, before you have intercourse with him. The right guy will understand and will accept you for who you are.

- Be responsible with your disease.....it would not be morally sound if you were to spread it around or have sex with guys who don't know you have this.

- With acyclovir (Valtrex), transmission rates of the disease are astronomical, especially with protection - make sure you let a guy know this - it would help your cause if you do want to pursue a relationship with him.

- Make sure to drink plenty of water and foods high in Lysine and stay away from foods high in Arginine, which is the protein your outbreaks feed on.

- Make sure to take your meds on time every day - trust me when I say this, as I skipped a few days and BAM! Cold Sore! and BAM! Outbreak!

- Your first outbreak is typically the worst - congrats on that, because you've suffered the worst.

- The disease gets less severe as time goes on - it essentially burns itself out. During my first three months, I had nothing but problems...cold sore after cold sore....itching...pain...flu-like symptoms....and now I feel like myself.

- Do research online about all the research facilities all over the world that are working on a vaccine and a cure....it will give you hope.

- Find out about how the disease works, and what phases your outbreaks have - this will lessen your worried nerves a lil - it definitely helped me!

And if none of that makes you feel better, just know that there are plenty of great people out there just like you that suffer from this.....

And perhaps if that doesn't make you feel better....the IRB in Barcelona, Spain, has found that the HIV medication Raltegravir kills ALL herpesviridae on contact - they have gotten a second patent on the drug for curing herpes, so it is just a matter of time before we don't have to get meds and suffer and post on forums :)

Good luck....you'll feel better in time....promise!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

WOW I just read about Raltegravir! INTENSE! *fingers crossed for the future* I hope the drug companies don't find a way to hamper research on this one as a means of maintaining profit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • WilsoInAus
      Hi there @ScubaSteeve and welcome to the website. If you have had genital HSV for 10 years there is a chance the testing did not distinguish type. The answers to the following questions will help a bit: - where are your outbreaks specifically and what frequency? - have you had any IgG antibody testing for HSV?
    • CHT
      Hi LLS.... I'm very sorry you are having so much discomfort from this outbreak.... the first outbreaks are always the most troublesome but  they will get less aggressive as time passes.  I personally find that valacyclovir is much more effective than just acyclovir so you may want to ask your doctor about switching and seeing if that helps.  Ask your doctor on Saturday if you really need to take a higher dose.... and as WilsoInAus suggested, I would ask for a 1,000 mg tablets with at least a 90 day supply to start.  As for pain, you may want to ask your doctor for a Rx of Zovirax ointment.... it contains acyclovir and the ointment form calms the sores down and reduces friction.... it should lessen the pain down there. As for diet, many people, myself included, learn what foods often act as triggers for outbreaks.  I can tell you from experience that the following are big outbreak triggers for me:   1. Too much caffeine (I've basically stopped coffee and have learned to enjoy a variety of decaf teas) 2. Any kind of nuts - including corn and even popcorn 3. Chocolate 4. Too much alcohol - particularly red wines  5. If possible, avoid any kind of steroids/immunosuppressants like prednisone in high doses.... anything that suppresses your immune system will give the virus free rein to run amuck - I learned this the hard way! 6, Stress.... although easier said than done, it will help with your overall health.  Studies show that stress is a common HSV outbreak trigger.... try to find a way to lower your stress levels. 7. lack of sleep.... personally, if I get less than 6  hours of sleep this often leads to an outbreak within a day or two.... work at getting a good 7-8 hours of solid sleep each night (I often use melatonin to help here). Some people find certain vitamins that boost the immune system, like zinc, help with overall healing and can lessen the severity of outbreaks and possibly prevent some outbreaks.  I personally take a number of antiviral/anti-inflammatory/anti-oxidant herbs/vitamins not so much for my HSV2 but for overall health (I don't have the healthiest of diets so, I feel I need to supplement to offset my lousy diet).  A google search of supplements that help with herpes will provide you with a long list of vitamins/herbs that may be of benefit but, try not to get carried away - many/most won't make much, if any, difference.... but, you can always experiment. As WilsoInAus also mentioned, a healthy diet is likely your best option. I should also mention that while some find vitamin C to be helpful, I found it to have the opposite effect.... the more I took the more it seemed to provoke outbreaks.   Things are always the toughest after initial infection.... it's going to get better, trust me.  Stick with the antiviral meds daily, try not to obsess on the fact you've contracted this virus, and try to avoid some of those triggers relating to outbreaks.  With time the number of outbreaks starts to decline and when you do have an outbreak, they will become less virulent. As WilsoInAus mentioned, a lot of your achiness, pain and overall flu-like symptoms are related to the fact your immune system is adjusting to this virus.... these lousy symptoms are just your immune system in action working to do its best to fight this virus... with time these symptoms will also lessen and disappear.   I hope this helps in some way.... please let us know if you have more questions.... and remember, go easy on yourself right now.... turn to those things in your life that calm you and also distract you from obsessing over the virus situation.  You are going to be just fine.... just give yourself some time to get past this initial unpleasant phase.... it will get better, I promise.    
    • Justme88
    • ScubaSteeve
      I was diagnosed with HPV2 ten years ago, which I contracted from an ex-girlfriend who was unaware she had it. Since then, I've lived a reserved life, not really opening up to others. There was only one person I felt interested in enough to share this with, but it didn't work out. There have been a few instances where I've let my guard down, had a night out, and ended up sleeping with someone. I know I should feel guilty about not discussing it beforehand, but I found it challenging because they know my family, and it felt overwhelming at the time, and I had alot of pent up desires from not ever being with someone for a long time.  After finally opening up to someone and realizing it wasn't the end of the world, I now understand that finding the right partner might be a matter of numbers. I desire to have more intimate relationships but need to find better ways to approach this topic and ensure I never spread it.  Thank you all for providing a space where I can be myself.
    • i82much2young
      My swab results won’t be ready for another 5 days. Is there any harm is continuing the Valacyclovir? I was prescribed 1gm tablets for 10 days.
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.