Jump to content

I feel so dirty and lonely.

hotnessa1988

By hotnessa1988
in Just signed up? Say hello here!

 Share

Recommended Posts

hotnessa1988 Honeycomb Member

hotnessa1988

Posted
Posted

Hi everyone my name is Vanessa, I'm 22 yrs old married to a wonderful loving man and a mother to 3 beautiful girls that I love very much. Yesterday my results came back positive for genital herpes which I'm very sadden about and heart broken. I'm not sure when and where I got them but I feel so ugly, dirty, empty and depressed. My husband doesn't seem to have a problem with it he tells me that we will both get through this and we just have to becareful about passing it on to the children. I need to know how will this effect our sex life I don't want to pass it to any other part of my body I just want it to stay where it's at. Also how can I prevent from passing it to my children cause if anything every happened like that I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
RealisticGal Platinum Support Member

RealisticGal

Posted
Posted

First of all, the things you are feeling are a normal reaction right now. But you are not dirty! You have a very common virus that about 80% of the North American population also has. The feelings are based on the stupid stigma that has been made up about herpes. It is false.

Was your test type specific? In other words, do you know if you have HSV1 or HSV2?

One quick thing to put your mind at ease. If you have genital herpes, the only way your children could get that would be by having skin to skin contact with your genital area --- the part of you that would be covered by a pair of boxer shorts. I feel pretty certain you aren't going to be doing that, right?

Take some time and read the links on the right side of this page. Knowledge is power. Once you understand more about herpes, I think it will help you relax and this is a very good place to learn about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
hotnessa1988 Honeycomb Member

hotnessa1988

Posted
  • Author
Posted

RealisticGal: Thank you very much for the post. I called my doctors offices and the nurse told me that I have HSV2. I've had these little blisters come out before and never have I had and medication. I don't get them bad at all just a little cluster of maybe 5 tiny blisters and thats it. Should I take medication or just leave it alone.

Elmerette: You brought tears to my eyes because my husband has told me the same thing. LIFE IS GOOD. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
wastedhousewife Acknowledged Support Member

wastedhousewife

Posted
Posted

I'm so glad that you have your husband's support, and did not have to worry about this for the birth of your girls! I know that the diagnosis is still hard, but it sounds like the rest of your life is going very well. GH likes to live where it is, and instances of it traveling to different parts of the body are very rare. Also, your children are not in any danger from you!

I hope that your husband continues to support you as he is now. Things will get easier! There is nothing ugly or dirty about someone who cares enough about her children to be this worried! Be a great mom to them, love your husband, and keep enjoying your life!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
hotnessa1988 Honeycomb Member

hotnessa1988

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'm so glad that you have your husband's support, and did not have to worry about this for the birth of your girls! I know that the diagnosis is still hard, but it sounds like the rest of your life is going very well. GH likes to live where it is, and instances of it traveling to different parts of the body are very rare. Also, your children are not in any danger from you!

I hope that your husband continues to support you as he is now. Things will get easier! There is nothing ugly or dirty about someone who cares enough about her children to be this worried! Be a great mom to them, love your husband, and keep enjoying your life!

I can't stop crying after reading your post. Thank you so much for the advice and I also hope he does continue to support me cause after this I've realized how much I really love and care for him. I love him more than anything besides my kids.... Do you think I should take medication or use the ointment since I've never used anything and my outbreaks aren't bad at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
wastedhousewife Acknowledged Support Member

wastedhousewife

Posted
Posted

I avoid the medications because they make me dizzy and nauseous (I've never been big on taking pills) - but I do take vitamin C and Lysine every day, and it seems to help. If your outbreaks are not bad now that is great, because they get less and less dramatic over time. The first one I had was terrible, but I've only had very mild outbreaks since then.

That first week was brutal for me - but I have a great support system (like you do!) and I just kept reminding myself that herpes is not all I have. It really boils down to a skin rash, and so many people are in the same boat. Just remember that this is very common - and you are not alone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
RealisticGal Platinum Support Member

RealisticGal

Posted
Posted

Just something to know --- either you or your husband, or even both of you, could easily have had HSV2 prior to getting together. There is no shame in that. So many people don't even know they have it.

Has your husband been tested to find out whether or not he has herpes at this point? Have you talked about whether or not he cares if he gets it, if he doesn't already?

You can take certain precautions (including daily antiviral medications) if he doesn't have it. But depending on his attitude about that, it may not matter at this point.

Also, there is a good chance he already has it anyway.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
bosoxfan Newbie

bosoxfan

Posted
Posted

You're not alone. I feel the same way too. I just began experiencing what I think could be herpes symptoms and feel completely dirty and like my wife of 8 years has been cheating on me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
RealisticGal Platinum Support Member

RealisticGal

Posted
Posted
You're not alone. I feel the same way too. I just began experiencing what I think could be herpes symptoms and feel completely dirty and like my wife of 8 years has been cheating on me.

Please don't jump to conclusions of infidelity based only on herpes (if you even have it). If there are other reasons to suspect it, fine. But by itself, herpes is no proof of that since it can lie dormant for many years, and also because so many folks do not know they have it.

Hope you will get your symptoms checked out and lab tests done as indicated before proceeding with any other random thoughts.

Then, if you do have herpes, remember that it does not mean you are dirty. It just means you have contracted a virus that is quite common, not unlike chickenpox or the flu. It does not change you and it does not make you dirty. Rolling around in the mud and not showering for days makes you dirty.

Take care... :wavey:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      72.1k
    • Total Posts
      486.4k

  • Posts

    • NewInNebr
      Looking for friends in nebraska

      By NewInNebr · Posted

      Newly diagnosed, looking for people to connect with in Nebraska, Lincoln even better 
    • Throwaway765
      Is this HSV???

      By Throwaway765 · Posted

      Thanks for your response! I received unprotected oral 10 weeks ago and immediately after had stinging in my glans and weird nerve pain. I am positive for HSV1 due to cold sores I got as a child, but as recent as 9 weeks after this exposure have tested negative for HSV2.    im nervous that I may have acquired hsv1 again on my genitals since HSV2 is rarely acquired from oral sex and doesn’t shed hardly at all, but haven’t seen any sores yet. Just weird symptoms and this started recently in my buttcrack when I was taking antibiotics.   Any advice or perspective would be greatly appreciated. @WilsoInAus
    • WilsoInAus
      Is this HSV???

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hi @Throwaway765 and welcome. There is absolutely no concern over this being related to herpes. Something must be concerning you as to the possibility of herpes… what is it? 
    • Throwaway765
      Is this HSV???

      By Throwaway765 · Posted

      @CHTany thoughts? Thanks!
    • Throwaway765
      Is this HSV???

      By Throwaway765 · Posted

      @WilsoInAus saw you responded to others, would appreciate any thoughts.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.

  I accept