Jump to content

Hard lessons too late!


Recommended Posts

Okay, so back during the summer I had some genital contact with a friend. Shortly thereafter, I developed a rash on my inner thigh that consisted of red spots, all about pencil eraser sized. Those red spots concerned me, and I was having green-yellow discharge. I was treated for some other STDs at the clinic.

Fast forward 4 months. (16 weeks). Everything had been pretty fine until then. But I knew Herpes was possible so I took a blood test. Negative HSV 1 and 2. Sweet! I get some pats on the back, and everything seems great.

Shortly after my test, I have sex with a close friend. We'd been feeling things for each other for a while and I think she's the girl I'd like to marry. I'd told her about my issues and that I was getting tested, etc.. Anyway, now she's having symptoms. She had a bump on her inner labia and now she said she's got bumps around the sides and that she feels "diseased". Obviously she blames me. I blame me... :\

The problem is that I thought things were fine. I thought that everything was okay and I was HSV free. But since she's been having problems, so have I. I've had some chafing, and flaking skin with redness under it on the underside of my penis. I've had 3 bumps that I thought were ingrown hairs on my shaft so I pulled them out. The bumps didn't go away. I thought they might be pimples or something but I couldn't "squeeze" them out. Then they got a little sensitive to the touch. Then I see clear liquid that's coming out. Great.

I don't know what to do. I feel terrible that I probably infected my best friend. She's never had any genital problems like this, so I feel totally responsible. I haven't been checked again, but I'm just convinced at this point.

Also, I confronted the girl who I thought gave it to me about HSV and she said that she doesn't have it. She said she's been tested for STDs and I told her about blood testing and she said she knew all about it. On top of that, my other friend has been having sex with her, unprotected, so I warned him that I started showing symptoms after being with her. They had sex for several months unprotected, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have it, right? I'm honestly convinced that I contracted it from her. She isn't willing to admit it, but I KNOW in my heart that she's the source. I can't convince anyone that's the case... but you know that feeling of instinct right? Grr...frustrating.

The problem is, I've learned a ton about herpes since then. Too bad I didn't know beforehand. Lessons learned the hard way suck!

Any advice? Thoughts? I could really use a hand as I feel kind of depressed about all of this. FYI, like, I'm not mad I probably have it, but I'm mad I might have spread it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You and your GF should go get tested again. If either of you have lesions, be sure to get swabs done right away. Do the proper, accurate, type specific IgG-based blood tests at the same time. That's the only advice I can see as being of any use. Otherwise, you are simply dealing with a bunch of guessing games and blame games.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know, it really sucks lol. Maybe it's something I've had since I was a kid? I think I recall getting "chaffed" on the penis when I was a teenager. I had never had sexual contact so I considered the cause as over-masturbation. So who knows, maybe I've had it for a while.

Thanks, I'll go get swabs done if anything comes up. I already had an IgG-blood test. Sensitivity was <0.90 so I came up as negative. I suppose there could be other causes to all this stuff, but I'll make sure that we do the right things and get ourselves checked!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It takes some folks a little longer than 4 months for the results of a blood test to be accurate. You might want to repeat that test if you are having symptoms. It has been long enough now that you should have seroconverted.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
    • Total Posts
  • Posts

    • sgt98
      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @NerdP423 and welcome to the website. You raise a lot of points and I think the best way to address your concerns is add some comments at each key point. I've copied your note again below and added these comments in square brackets. I appreciate any insight (even speculation) as to what has been going on with me. I'm a 37y/o M. I last was intimate with a new partner on 2/11/2022, and a few days later started having a huge amount of discomfort in my face. [The first thing that happens though is that herpes causes lesions or at least some skin based disruption. Other symptoms are then related to the actions of the immune system responding to the virus. Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. [If this was a PCR then this will be very conclusive.] Practitioner said it may come back negative because it was already open. However the lab report noted that it definitely didn't look like what you'd expect a typical first herpes outbreak to look like [how would the lab know??]. All blood tests negative so far. I had two western blots, the second one was nine months after exposure. [Two negative Westernblots!!! Many that's real convincing]. All other swabs also negative. I went to urgent care, because I know the timeliness of when the Swab is taken matters. One time, a swab was not done, because practitioner said it was folliculitis and wouldn't swab it (It was at my belt line). [Belt line is highly unlikely to relate to herpes.]   A blood test revealed I had low-ish B12 (technically in range, but at the very low end, especially for a man of my size). I had a series of B12 injections, and I am taking a B12 supplement. I am not taking any lysine or arginine at the moment. I was taking the Arganine to see if I could induce an outbreak. [This is irrelevant, there is no known linkage between herpes outbreaks and arginine/lysine intake - its a myth - and B12 infers nothing.] I think what I am asking is - has anyone here ever repeatedly tested negative over and over again over long period of time, before getting a definitive answer, be a positive test, or something else? [The answer to this is: Extremely few people with a HSV-1 infection and even more rarely HSV-2 test repeatedly negative on Westernblot and actually carry the virus. Of the cases that I know of that had delayed detection by a swab and negative blood tests in the meantime (and that's only 3-4 cases), they had some form of lesions within days of infection but did not obtain a swab for various reasons and then obtained a positive swab of a subsequent lesion with the record being 11 months later. A couple of the cases did have some 'background' symptoms they thought might be related to herpes but that isn't ascertained and some did not have any unusual symptoms at all apart from the lesions. Hence as you did not have lesions around your mouth or lips within days of the last sexual encounter as is exceptionally common for a primary oral HSV-1 infection, that pretty much rules out herpes orally as it is. The fact that you had no genital symptoms for a month also rules out genital herpes. I am not aware of anyone at all who has genuinely gone on to test positive by swab or blood in your specific circumstances. There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.