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Trying to cope


flowerpetals582

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Hi all. I think going through this at any time is hard, but going through this the first time at Christmas is very hard. I definitely had a much harder time feeling in the Christmas spirit. I just got diagnosed this week and it really wasn't a shock, due to spending the last two weeks researching every std there is, and pretty much concluding this was what I have. It still doesn't make you feel less sad. My new boyfriend is going to get tested as we figure he has it also now, neither of us can say whether we passed it to one another cause of the lack of symptoms that can happen with this. We are however choosing to not lay blame and work together as a team to understand this virus and how we can live happy, healthy lives with the diagnosis. Even though I seem to be quite positive right now, I do have my bad days that I wanna sit and cry and mope about what if things don't work with this guy, I will have to tell someone else and will they accept me. I am looking for any advice or input into what works best for coping and how to manage outbreaks so I can get back to feeling human again and happy.

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The important thing is that you are keeping up positive thoughts for the future. Stay very true to your promise not to play the blame game with your boyfriend - it will never matter how you got it, but having someone else to help you cope will make such a difference for you! You two are obviously level-headed people who would not intentionally hurt anyone, just leave it at that and enjoy the support!

I was diagnosed in June and am so glad that my boyfriend has it too, and that we got through this together. It was a big step in getting to know what kind of person he really is. I still have my sad days (very few and far between) - but herpes really is no big deal in the grand scheme of things. People will still accept you if you are ever single in the future. It may be more difficult than your past dating life, but I promise it will exist!

Good luck, and enjoy the new year!

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Thank you

Thanks for the reply. I did go through just about every emotion the last few weeks and it is hard to grasp still, but I am trying to focus on the idea that this doesn't define me and I am exactly who I was before. All the support and information on this site is amazing. I am glad I found this site, it will make coping on my bad days easier. I also hope to be able to help others cope in the future. It really helps to have support not only from my boyfriend, but from so many people who can relate to what I am going through. Happy New Year HouseWife, and thanks again for your post.

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hi there @ScubaSteeve and welcome to the website. If you have had genital HSV for 10 years there is a chance the testing did not distinguish type. The answers to the following questions will help a bit: - where are your outbreaks specifically and what frequency? - have you had any IgG antibody testing for HSV?
    • CHT
      Hi LLS.... I'm very sorry you are having so much discomfort from this outbreak.... the first outbreaks are always the most troublesome but  they will get less aggressive as time passes.  I personally find that valacyclovir is much more effective than just acyclovir so you may want to ask your doctor about switching and seeing if that helps.  Ask your doctor on Saturday if you really need to take a higher dose.... and as WilsoInAus suggested, I would ask for a 1,000 mg tablets with at least a 90 day supply to start.  As for pain, you may want to ask your doctor for a Rx of Zovirax ointment.... it contains acyclovir and the ointment form calms the sores down and reduces friction.... it should lessen the pain down there. As for diet, many people, myself included, learn what foods often act as triggers for outbreaks.  I can tell you from experience that the following are big outbreak triggers for me:   1. Too much caffeine (I've basically stopped coffee and have learned to enjoy a variety of decaf teas) 2. Any kind of nuts - including corn and even popcorn 3. Chocolate 4. Too much alcohol - particularly red wines  5. If possible, avoid any kind of steroids/immunosuppressants like prednisone in high doses.... anything that suppresses your immune system will give the virus free rein to run amuck - I learned this the hard way! 6, Stress.... although easier said than done, it will help with your overall health.  Studies show that stress is a common HSV outbreak trigger.... try to find a way to lower your stress levels. 7. lack of sleep.... personally, if I get less than 6  hours of sleep this often leads to an outbreak within a day or two.... work at getting a good 7-8 hours of solid sleep each night (I often use melatonin to help here). Some people find certain vitamins that boost the immune system, like zinc, help with overall healing and can lessen the severity of outbreaks and possibly prevent some outbreaks.  I personally take a number of antiviral/anti-inflammatory/anti-oxidant herbs/vitamins not so much for my HSV2 but for overall health (I don't have the healthiest of diets so, I feel I need to supplement to offset my lousy diet).  A google search of supplements that help with herpes will provide you with a long list of vitamins/herbs that may be of benefit but, try not to get carried away - many/most won't make much, if any, difference.... but, you can always experiment. As WilsoInAus also mentioned, a healthy diet is likely your best option. I should also mention that while some find vitamin C to be helpful, I found it to have the opposite effect.... the more I took the more it seemed to provoke outbreaks.   Things are always the toughest after initial infection.... it's going to get better, trust me.  Stick with the antiviral meds daily, try not to obsess on the fact you've contracted this virus, and try to avoid some of those triggers relating to outbreaks.  With time the number of outbreaks starts to decline and when you do have an outbreak, they will become less virulent. As WilsoInAus mentioned, a lot of your achiness, pain and overall flu-like symptoms are related to the fact your immune system is adjusting to this virus.... these lousy symptoms are just your immune system in action working to do its best to fight this virus... with time these symptoms will also lessen and disappear.   I hope this helps in some way.... please let us know if you have more questions.... and remember, go easy on yourself right now.... turn to those things in your life that calm you and also distract you from obsessing over the virus situation.  You are going to be just fine.... just give yourself some time to get past this initial unpleasant phase.... it will get better, I promise.    
    • Justme88
      Thanks.
    • ScubaSteeve
      I was diagnosed with HPV2 ten years ago, which I contracted from an ex-girlfriend who was unaware she had it. Since then, I've lived a reserved life, not really opening up to others. There was only one person I felt interested in enough to share this with, but it didn't work out. There have been a few instances where I've let my guard down, had a night out, and ended up sleeping with someone. I know I should feel guilty about not discussing it beforehand, but I found it challenging because they know my family, and it felt overwhelming at the time, and I had alot of pent up desires from not ever being with someone for a long time.  After finally opening up to someone and realizing it wasn't the end of the world, I now understand that finding the right partner might be a matter of numbers. I desire to have more intimate relationships but need to find better ways to approach this topic and ensure I never spread it.  Thank you all for providing a space where I can be myself.
    • i82much2young
      My swab results won’t be ready for another 5 days. Is there any harm is continuing the Valacyclovir? I was prescribed 1gm tablets for 10 days.
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