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Help!! Had this my whole life!!


Mom in Illinois

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Hello All! I started looking on this site for information and decided to sign up because there are a lot of questions and answers for everyone, whether you have cold sores or not. I have had cold sores my entire life, since I was a very young child. I did not realize it was a form of herpes until I was in my teens and from that point on, took great pains to never kiss, touch, or have oral sex during an outbreak. I realize that I could have transmitted the virus without active symptoms, but I have never yet. I have recently been researching this topic because I am in a situation I have never been in before and need some advice and information. I am recently divorced and starting to date. I was married for 13 years and never had an issue. My husband was aware of my condition and he has not been infected. To be blunt, I recently had a date with a very good friend of mine and one thing led to another...oral sex was performed on him. The next day, I had an outbreak, and a pretty bad one. I let him know right away and he's freaking out a little. I understand about viral shedding, contagiousness even when you aren't having an outbreak, but what about before an outbreak? From what I know, it's normally not actively contagious until the itching, burning sensation starts (which I wasn't having) but now I"m worried! I would absolutely be horrified if he got this from me! Help!!

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hi am new to this but i have had cold sores aswell all my life. i was just told that i might have herpes but i waited to long to go to the doctors(embarrassed,no ins.) but i had a bump that did seem to turn into a cut so now i have to wait until monday to possibly have a blood test taking some where to get some better answers. good luck & god bless

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welcome & hugs mom in Illinois

Maybe you should get this guy to have a blood test right now to find out whether or not he has HSV1 or HSV2 cos he may already have............??? That way at least you have a baseline result to work on, and an idea for later on if you may have passed on herpes???

And, please remember too, you didn't deliberately set out to infect this guy, and perhaps you haven't. I'd still recommend he has a blood test right now.

hugs again

xx

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Doom Kitty--I did encourage him to get a test right away and even offered to pay for it since he has no insurance right now, but he turned me down. He said he would just wait and see what happens. I told him that he could already be a carrier and not know it and should absolutely get the test! He's standing firm and wants to wait. Meanwhile, I'm feeling like absolute crap!! There was not way I would intentionally infect anybody let alone one of my best friends and if I even suspected an outbreak coming on, we wouldn't have even kissed, let alone let it go further!!! I know there's a chance I didn't infect him, but if he won't get a baseline bloodtest, if something surfaces in 20 years, who do you think he's going to blame? Yep...I honestly feel like a skank right now, like I"m horribly filthy and I hate it!! And I feel like I can't move past this until I have an answer! Is that wrong?

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just a comment. I have 1 and 2 but have never had a cold sore around my mouth. I did go thru a period over the last few years where I had mysterious canker sores between my lips and gums but nothing visible outside. I believe i contracted H1 from a girlfreind about 11 yrs ago who had a cold sore while we dated. i was naive then and didnt give it much thought, she also gave me oral sex often but I never got anything knowingly from that.

My H2 came from a 2-night-stand and a different person. She complained about crotch soreness due to tight jeans only minutes before our second encounter. I thought not much of it unitl I put the puzzle pieces together after my diagnoses. When I confronted her she was adamant that she was clean and quite angry at my accusation.

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Doom Kitty--I did encourage him to get a test right away and even offered to pay for it since he has no insurance right now, but he turned me down. He said he would just wait and see what happens. I told him that he could already be a carrier and not know it and should absolutely get the test! He's standing firm and wants to wait. Meanwhile, I'm feeling like absolute crap!! There was not way I would intentionally infect anybody let alone one of my best friends and if I even suspected an outbreak coming on, we wouldn't have even kissed, let alone let it go further!!! I know there's a chance I didn't infect him, but if he won't get a baseline bloodtest, if something surfaces in 20 years, who do you think he's going to blame? Yep...I honestly feel like a skank right now, like I"m horribly filthy and I hate it!! And I feel like I can't move past this until I have an answer! Is that wrong?

Hi Mom

Hmmmmmmm didn't want to have the test? Makes ya wonder, especially when you were going to pay for it too???

Awwwwww you're not a skank hon, and he's not helping the situation either. Of course you want answers!! Please don't feel guilty, especially since you don't even know his HSV status!!

Hugs

xx

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hi there @ScubaSteeve and welcome to the website. If you have had genital HSV for 10 years there is a chance the testing did not distinguish type. The answers to the following questions will help a bit: - where are your outbreaks specifically and what frequency? - have you had any IgG antibody testing for HSV?
    • CHT
      Hi LLS.... I'm very sorry you are having so much discomfort from this outbreak.... the first outbreaks are always the most troublesome but  they will get less aggressive as time passes.  I personally find that valacyclovir is much more effective than just acyclovir so you may want to ask your doctor about switching and seeing if that helps.  Ask your doctor on Saturday if you really need to take a higher dose.... and as WilsoInAus suggested, I would ask for a 1,000 mg tablets with at least a 90 day supply to start.  As for pain, you may want to ask your doctor for a Rx of Zovirax ointment.... it contains acyclovir and the ointment form calms the sores down and reduces friction.... it should lessen the pain down there. As for diet, many people, myself included, learn what foods often act as triggers for outbreaks.  I can tell you from experience that the following are big outbreak triggers for me:   1. Too much caffeine (I've basically stopped coffee and have learned to enjoy a variety of decaf teas) 2. Any kind of nuts - including corn and even popcorn 3. Chocolate 4. Too much alcohol - particularly red wines  5. If possible, avoid any kind of steroids/immunosuppressants like prednisone in high doses.... anything that suppresses your immune system will give the virus free rein to run amuck - I learned this the hard way! 6, Stress.... although easier said than done, it will help with your overall health.  Studies show that stress is a common HSV outbreak trigger.... try to find a way to lower your stress levels. 7. lack of sleep.... personally, if I get less than 6  hours of sleep this often leads to an outbreak within a day or two.... work at getting a good 7-8 hours of solid sleep each night (I often use melatonin to help here). Some people find certain vitamins that boost the immune system, like zinc, help with overall healing and can lessen the severity of outbreaks and possibly prevent some outbreaks.  I personally take a number of antiviral/anti-inflammatory/anti-oxidant herbs/vitamins not so much for my HSV2 but for overall health (I don't have the healthiest of diets so, I feel I need to supplement to offset my lousy diet).  A google search of supplements that help with herpes will provide you with a long list of vitamins/herbs that may be of benefit but, try not to get carried away - many/most won't make much, if any, difference.... but, you can always experiment. As WilsoInAus also mentioned, a healthy diet is likely your best option. I should also mention that while some find vitamin C to be helpful, I found it to have the opposite effect.... the more I took the more it seemed to provoke outbreaks.   Things are always the toughest after initial infection.... it's going to get better, trust me.  Stick with the antiviral meds daily, try not to obsess on the fact you've contracted this virus, and try to avoid some of those triggers relating to outbreaks.  With time the number of outbreaks starts to decline and when you do have an outbreak, they will become less virulent. As WilsoInAus mentioned, a lot of your achiness, pain and overall flu-like symptoms are related to the fact your immune system is adjusting to this virus.... these lousy symptoms are just your immune system in action working to do its best to fight this virus... with time these symptoms will also lessen and disappear.   I hope this helps in some way.... please let us know if you have more questions.... and remember, go easy on yourself right now.... turn to those things in your life that calm you and also distract you from obsessing over the virus situation.  You are going to be just fine.... just give yourself some time to get past this initial unpleasant phase.... it will get better, I promise.    
    • Justme88
      Thanks.
    • ScubaSteeve
      I was diagnosed with HPV2 ten years ago, which I contracted from an ex-girlfriend who was unaware she had it. Since then, I've lived a reserved life, not really opening up to others. There was only one person I felt interested in enough to share this with, but it didn't work out. There have been a few instances where I've let my guard down, had a night out, and ended up sleeping with someone. I know I should feel guilty about not discussing it beforehand, but I found it challenging because they know my family, and it felt overwhelming at the time, and I had alot of pent up desires from not ever being with someone for a long time.  After finally opening up to someone and realizing it wasn't the end of the world, I now understand that finding the right partner might be a matter of numbers. I desire to have more intimate relationships but need to find better ways to approach this topic and ensure I never spread it.  Thank you all for providing a space where I can be myself.
    • i82much2young
      My swab results won’t be ready for another 5 days. Is there any harm is continuing the Valacyclovir? I was prescribed 1gm tablets for 10 days.
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