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Hello informme, I had replied earlier but then the website crashed so I guess it didn't post my reply. It would not have been easy for your guy to tell you I am sure. Many members here fear rejection but not because of the actual skin virus itself, but for the stigma that is created around it. He may be on some kind of supplements and he can also go on suppressive treatment if you two decide to embark on a relationship together. The suppressive medication further decreases the chances of transmit. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact, so during an outbreak it is not advisable to engage in sexual activities. You can also read the tabs to the right of here to find out more info. He is no doubt afraid of losing you, now that he has disclosed his status. Talk together about it, it will bring you closer together, and we are also here anytime you need advice and support.

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Hello informme, I had replied earlier but then the website crashed so I guess it didn't post my reply. It would not have been easy for your guy to tell you I am sure. Many members here fear rejection but not because of the actual skin virus itself, but for the stigma that is created around it. He may be on some kind of supplements and he can also go on suppressive treatment if you two decide to embark on a relationship together. The suppressive medication further decreases the chances of transmit. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact, so during an outbreak it is not advisable to engage in sexual activities. You can also read the tabs to the right of here to find out more info. He is no doubt afraid of losing you, now that he has disclosed his status. Talk together about it, it will bring you closer together, and we are also here anytime you need advice and support.

He is very nervous that i will leave him because of it. I have done some research and there are some treatments you can try one is an oxygen treatment. There has been a couple success stories where someone tested negative after 30 some treaments. And others it helped with the symptons and how many outbreaks they have. So i mention it to him and he is going to talk to his doctor about it. Can you have a happy relationship and stay protected from contracting it if you take all the precautions you should. I guess im looking for someone on here who is in or has been in a relationship for a long time and didnt pass it to their partener or didnt get it from them. Because he truely is a great guy. And i do commend him on telling me and not hiding it.

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my advice is to run as fast as you can. There are ways you can protect yourself but they are not always effective 100 percent of the time, by using a rubber however it not fool proof I am living witness to that. oxygen treatment? Sounds blooney to me and i would not relay on that.

i commend him for telling you too however you do not now the future with this guy and no matter how good the relationship is now you do not know where it will lead. there are precautions but non of them are 100 percent effective.

The guy who gave it to me will we used rubbers 100 percent and guess what not only did it not work and i have herpies now but the relationship is gone too.

there are people who been in a relationship with someone who has hurpies and not contacted it from them in years but there is a risk

really you have to ask yourself this are you willing to live with herpies if the precautions dont work and the relationship petters out? You have to think rationally not emotionally about it

if you think it could work out maybe you could sudjest waiting on sex until you two really know where the relationship goes

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Informme, firstly well done you for researching the subject and getting more information. It's great to see people educating themselves. There are some great fact sheets there on the right under the life and love tab that may be good for you to read.

I have genital herpes and my partner does not. We have been sexually active together for 10 months, and I have not yet passed it on to our knowledge. I do not take meds - I did offer to and explained it all to him but he did not want me taking prescription meds for the rest of my life. We do not always use condoms but I do certainly abstain from any sexual activity whenever I feel anything strange going on down there.

I think the secret to our success is having very open and honest dialogue. Just like you, he did his research and found out about this virus. We also talk about it whenever it is necessary and that has bought us closer.

I do not agree with WithBaggage - you do not need to run if you truly care about this man. There are many other stories on here of folks in postive / negative relationships that have not passed it on. I'm also hoping RealsticGal will chime in here as she is in the same boat as you and can provide some very balanced and informative advice.....

But at the end of the day, the decision is yours - sex is a big part of any good relationship so you have to be comfortable.

Good luck - let us know what you decide and if you have any more questions.

Take care.

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    • sgt98
      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @NerdP423 and welcome to the website. You raise a lot of points and I think the best way to address your concerns is add some comments at each key point. I've copied your note again below and added these comments in square brackets. I appreciate any insight (even speculation) as to what has been going on with me. I'm a 37y/o M. I last was intimate with a new partner on 2/11/2022, and a few days later started having a huge amount of discomfort in my face. [The first thing that happens though is that herpes causes lesions or at least some skin based disruption. Other symptoms are then related to the actions of the immune system responding to the virus. Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. [If this was a PCR then this will be very conclusive.] Practitioner said it may come back negative because it was already open. However the lab report noted that it definitely didn't look like what you'd expect a typical first herpes outbreak to look like [how would the lab know??]. All blood tests negative so far. I had two western blots, the second one was nine months after exposure. [Two negative Westernblots!!! Many that's real convincing]. All other swabs also negative. I went to urgent care, because I know the timeliness of when the Swab is taken matters. One time, a swab was not done, because practitioner said it was folliculitis and wouldn't swab it (It was at my belt line). [Belt line is highly unlikely to relate to herpes.]   A blood test revealed I had low-ish B12 (technically in range, but at the very low end, especially for a man of my size). I had a series of B12 injections, and I am taking a B12 supplement. I am not taking any lysine or arginine at the moment. I was taking the Arganine to see if I could induce an outbreak. [This is irrelevant, there is no known linkage between herpes outbreaks and arginine/lysine intake - its a myth - and B12 infers nothing.] I think what I am asking is - has anyone here ever repeatedly tested negative over and over again over long period of time, before getting a definitive answer, be a positive test, or something else? [The answer to this is: Extremely few people with a HSV-1 infection and even more rarely HSV-2 test repeatedly negative on Westernblot and actually carry the virus. 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There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
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