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mandyatm

Really need some support...

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mandyatm

I just learned that I have contracted Herpes from my husband, who I have been with for 6 years. I am confused and have a million questions running through my mind. I have an enormous amount of clear, watery discharge, enough to fill a tampon every couple hours, and I thought I had the flu (fever of 102, chills, body aches, dizziness, headache, sore throat), then I noticed a blister. I immediately told my husband who said he had a blister a couple weeks before. He noticed it while hunting and thought he had been bitten by a spider or a tick and was too embarrassed to tell me. He said he had a similar blister when he was in college, but that was probably 12 or 13 years ago, so he never suspected he had something he could give me. I do believe him that he would never intentionally put me at risk, he is an emotional mess over the whole thing just as I am.

But while he has a single blister after over a decade of no outbreaks, I could not get out of bed for 2 days! I have 2 little kids, I can't be this sick on a regular basis. If you got flu-like symptoms with your first outbreak, do you get it every time? I am just scared how this virus will affect me, how often I can expect outbreaks and how severe. Right now the blister is the least of my discomforts.

Since we both have it now, do we still need to be careful during outbreaks or does it matter? Will he have an outbreak because I do and we have sex?

I am really glad I found this site as I feel really alone right now. I know I can talk to my husband but I can't tell anyone else. I never thought I would have to worry about something like this after years of being married. We were thinking of trying for another baby soon, and I worry that this will prohibit a vaginal birth. I also worry about spreading it to other areas of my body if I don't wash my hands well enough, or somehow spreading it to the kids even though I know this isn't likely. Thank you for reading, and advice is welcome.

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package deal

everyone is different as for outbreaks and how many toimes they get a ob. The first time is always the worse. I had herpies for almost 2 years and i had 2 outbreaks the first was really bad and painful the 2nd i barely noticed. some people never have another outbreak after the first time and others have then all the time.

I do not tAKE meds for my outbreaks. I rfeally try to ingnore it as much as passible

as for sex no need for a rubber . you both already have it you cant give it back to each other

I have herpies 2 until very recently when i got smart and dumped my exboyfriend who knew and gave me herpies, we stoped using condums after he infected me. the only thing different we did was oral sex. we used a condum for oral sex on him and as for me we did away with oral sex for me and did other things.

as for having more babies do not be afraid have another just inform your obritian that you have herpies and he will advise you what to do and will probably put you on repressive meds just before you give birth. beleive it or not a lot of wemon give birth vaginally without passing herpies to the baby and if worse vcoomnes to worse they will do a c-section.

now give your hubby a kiss and go make a baby

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Courtney

Hi, no you will not get the "flu" every time you get the outbreaks. My first one i got a huge fever felt terrible and was in an enormous amount of pain and discomfort. Usually you will get just the blisters, there are medicine you can take to supress the virus. Its kinda a really nice thing you and your husband both have it, because you do not have to worry about giving it back to each other, no need for a condom, and as Linda said you can still have a baby, things will work out ok good luck to you and your husband:)

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mandyatm

Thank you both so much for taking the time to respond. I know I won't actually GET the flu, I just meant the flu-like symptoms. It is good to know that maybe I won't get them every time. And I read that I can spread the virus to other areas by touching it and then touching my eye or mouth, so I didn't know if I could infect another part of him if I have an outbreak.

I do agree that we are lucky that we both have it and have each other, as I feel for those that have to date and explain it to each potential partner. I guess hubby would feel quite embarrassed and alone if he did find out it wasn't just a bug bite but that I didn't have it yet, and then we would always be worried about it spreading, so I guess it's good we got it over with. We were going to try for a baby in just a few months, I just can't help but wonder, what if I had caught it during pregnancy and didn't know and they baby would have a 50% change of having it?! Or if I got it in the first trimester and the baby had birth defects? That is just so scary that we risked that. I should have had him tested long ago, but then who knows how I would have handled that and we may not have the beautiful babies we have today. Got to believe things happen for a reason I guess.

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Magnolia

Hey,

I would say to still be careful during outbreaks (although you prob won't want to have sex then anyway :( ) because that is when the virus is most active and you could prolong your outbreak, cross contaminate yourself and add new sores (you'll notice you tend to get the sores in the same area), or cause your husband to get an outbreak (which nobody likes!) or vice versa.

Good luck!

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