Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
NotMyUsualLogin

Rawr!

Recommended Posts

NotMyUsualLogin

Did anyone else get this from a cheating partner? And am I the only idiot who is still with said partner? :madd:

I feel stuck. I feel unlovable. I feel like a burden. I feel... very angry.

I often want to shoot myself- guess my glock being stolen along with my truck for christmas was a good thing after all.

sigh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JBnATL

Don't feel stuck, you can date whomever you want. And if someone does not accept you because of this, then they are not the right person for you.

I have had it many years and it has not stopped me from doing anything or anyone I wanted.

There are support groups in both Austin and San Antonio. Click on the link on the right "Herpes Support Groups". The one here in Atlanta really helped me out when I was first diagnosed.

Come to the Chat Room, there you will find many fellow Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!

JB

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
gotitsowhat

I remember 10 wasted years of my life in which I did not socialize, did not even talk to people much because I could not imagine that anyone would want me in any way. Then, I decided to start living again instead of just existing. It seemed impossible to me: I am overweight, and over the age where people date (65) and I'm eccentric. Who would be interested? I talked to a therapist about it and he wished me luck but he pointed out that men are basically hard wired to like young, slim women. This, I believe, is true. And I live in California, where even people of normal weight consider themselves fat.

Nevertheless, I ventured out. And I am glad I did. For quite a while, I had resigned myself to not even getting as far as "the talk," because of my age and weight.

A few months ago, I met a man I had known vaguely as a guy in the neighborhood. He used to be a radio celebrity many, many years ago. The way I met him was like this....I was driving, turned a familiar corner and found myself in a most unfamiliar police cordon, getting a ticket for a sign that had not been there the day before, had not been there in the years (most of my life) I have lived in this neighborhood, and was covered with a palm frond thus making it impossible for anyone to read. It was an obvious trap. But, in cases like that, you have to go to a great deal of trouble to prove entrapment. I don't have a lot of time nor any extra money for lawyers. I was stuck. Until....this crazy looking (VERY eccentric!) gray haired man appeared out of nowhere, wearing strange bright clothes and he began arguing vigorously with the cop who was about to write me the ticket. I was sure he would get arrested. But, to my surprise, the cop took the man over to the cop's superior and the three of them began talking. That was when I recognized the eccentric man as the former radio celebrity. In about a minute, the cop came back and with the strangely dressed gray haired man watching, told me I could go, no ticket. I was amazed! It seemed that the eccentric guy's connections with the city government counted here, along with his ability to spread publicity via the airwaves through his radio friends.

Later, we met and shared a hot dog. We hit it off. I was amazed. Some guys don't find some fat a turnoff, it seems. Or age. He invited me to go back to his apartment. I said, "I think at this point you need to know that I carry the herpes simplex virus, type 2." His answer: "So? I don't care! I'll wear a condom." When I dutifully pointed out that condoms don't protect 100%, his answer was, "What, you think I don't know that?! You think I was born yesterday?! I've been around. Don't even worry about it." By that time I was laughing because he is about 10 years older than I am in his mid 70s and was definitely NOT "born yesterday."

Never live your life out of fear. There are too many good things and good people out there to let a tiny little common virus make your decisions for you. Staying with someone you don't love out of fear of facing the world with herpes yields a 0% chance of experiencing love. On the other hand, if you decide to go out there and face the world, I cannot say for sure what your chances would be of finding the right person. But it is almost certainly greater odds than zero, right? If you are miserable with the person you are with and are staying with that person mainly out of fear, living in what someone once called, "comfortable misery," you really don't have much to lose. Might as well up the odds of happiness.Take it from a fat eccentric old lady--it's definitely worth a try.

Not sure how serious this recently begun affair is, but I am still seeing him. And it's been fun.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dinki
Did anyone else get this from a cheating partner? And am I the only idiot who is still with said partner? :madd:

I feel stuck. I feel unlovable. I feel like a burden. I feel... very angry.

I often want to shoot myself- guess my glock being stolen along with my truck for christmas was a good thing after all.

sigh.

:wavey: Hi i got it from a cheating partner! and i was so hurt beyond words but we ended up breaking up because i was too scared that someday he would bring HIV to me if he could bring me herpes! personally ive decided to be celibate mainly because i cannot imagine being rejected by someone after giving the talk neither do i want to put my business out there. Killing yourself is not the answer i figured that out cos i considered it myself, just treat yourself to the best life can offer and hold on to hope for a cure. tk care!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,304
    • Total Posts
      466,290
  • Posts

    • jmherped
      Quest, what is your protocol exactly for taking out a breakout in 24 to 48 hours?
    • jeraldpeabody
      @MikeHerp totally agree and understand! so i would say the first port of call is to somehow bring all these different voices together and work out a good way to collaborate. I've contacted some of the people on instagram / youtube that have fairly big followers but I have yet to hear back from them. I might try another tactic!  What are you thoughts on trying to have a central point of information / communication for the movement ? is it worth setting up a discord / slack kinda messaging app ? for example i can't use this forum on my phone at all, I have to be at my lappy to use it. I also appreciate what Rich does, but he has very few followers on social if you compare him to alot of the female voices on there. LaureenHD is prob the biggest herpes advocate I can find out there with a large following. I'll reach out to her again.. 
    • jmherped
      Does anybody know what an extreme dive in the chamber like the one the diver who was cured would do to a person?  Is it painful/dangerous, or do you just go in and out like nothing happened? 
    • jmherped
      This looks very promising...  I'm in Cabo and they have one of these for divers at the hospital.  I'm going to check into the cost.  John146, are you still using your home machine? 
    • MikeHerp
      Right.  I agree that goals are important. 1.  I want to continue to raise money for FHC.  I don't think it has to be that far off as you mentioned, though, as you noted, it still needs a bit of time.  I have a feeling we'll be surprised how quickly progress is made, and the FDA does not seem intent on slowing the progress this time.  Further, once human trials actually start and this stuff starts to show it's quite effective, I think things will become a bit more optimistic for the rest of us even if completing the trials still takes some time.  That's how I see it.  Of course, it's possible that it all fails, it hits huge roadblocks etc. There is that risk.  But I believe this gene editing stuff is here to stay.  Every serious analysis of futuristic technologies I've reviewed, seems to think so as well.  Also, the more important thing is what I wrote at the bottom in boldface--we can make things happen, we can change or at least bend the reality if we try.  In my view, that's more important than how far away something might seem. We've had several veterans here chime in, like @Cas9 who are older, who have dealt with this for decades even, and they aren't even sure whether they will be around when a cure or partial cure gets rolled out (I think Cas9 will get it in his life though), but they still urge us not to give up hope, that there's more momentum now than there used to be.  That's more important than the notion that something might still take some time.   2.  We can get behind other research efforts / trials.  As somebody else mentioned, once pritelivir completes its phase 2, we can begin writing to the FDA to have it approved, to allow it to be tested in not immunocompromised patients.  That kind of grass roots movement will be easier if it is concentrated, coordinated. 3.  We may consider looking at other fund raisers.  Other things may emerge and there are people who are working on herpes stuff (like Doctor Iwasaki) who need money.  But at this time. I don't want to get side tracked.  Ive also been carefully watching Rich Mancuso's efforts regarding theravax.  My only issue with it is that his petitions are asking the FDA to fast track Therevax. But the vaccine hasn't even been submitted to the FDA for testing, so it doesn't seem like it makes much sense to petition the FDA to fast rack it now.  As far as I know, the FDA can't fast-track something that hasn't even entered the process.  But, Thiel has invested close to $10 million in it, and if it does get into human trials, we could consider joining forces with Rich to highlight that and maybe write appropriate letters to the FDA.   4.  As you mentioned, raising awareness. Across various platforms and across various geographical regions.   Hopefully also converting more people to our cause.  For example, @hsv2fighter mentioned to me that he is trying to put together an association of Chinese HSV patients.  I imagine there must be millions.  And with ppl in China being increasingly connected to the internet, I think there could be many with whom we can unite. Likewise, that kind of channel could give us a better view on what they are doing in China with gene editing etc.   5.  As you mentioned, unifying people to show how large and important the movement is, and the need for more funding and research etc. 6.  I believe relevant additional goals will emerge on which we can act, and if we have unified, it will be easier to act.  Most of the time, even if somebody has some good idea to do something, not a lot can be done because people aren't coordinated.  Somebody creates a petition, and maybe 5 people sign it.  Look, the whole FHC fund raiser didn't exist 2 months ago, but came into existence because I reached out to FHC and they were responsive to and supportive of the idea.  So that was good.  But that alone might not have accomplished much if the good folks at Honeycomb, hadn't not only pinned the post about the fund raiser, but also given it their informal seal of approval.  And now, because of all that, we've raised over $10k, and that's only based on mainly small donations in a few weeks from our community.  We haven't even really targeted any deep pockets (we've barely tried) or done a lot to sell the case, rather, we've mainly just donated ourselves. All that stuff happened because people worked together.   The point is that, we can make things happen, bigger things, if we try.  That's what I'd like to focus on more than the idea that something might be far away or it's hard to do something.   Anyway, thanks for your efforts.  This stuff is easier when others are also contributing and you are helping a lot.        
×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.