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norcallove

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norcallove

Question regarding prodrom symptoms and protecting my partner

Hi everyone. :wavey: So I have a question about sex and prodrome symptoms. First, a little background: I have GHSV2 and my partner does not. We had been together about 4 months or so when I had my 1st OB. Being the great guy he is, he immediately said nothing changed and he still wanted to be with me. I had NO symptoms before my first OB. I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night, noticed a slight pain so I looked down and had a couple pin sized bumps that became sores 6 hours later. I was pretty lucky, I had a very mild OB. It really didn't bother me much. I didn't have any itchiness down there until the 3rd day (the day I went to the doctors) and it went away a day after starting my medication.

So, my BF knows the risks and accepts it. I have given him a lot of information and he researched it as well. It doesn't seem to be that big of a deal for him, it's probably a bigger deal/concern for me. I care about him so I, of course, do not want to pass it to him. We are using condoms (although the spot I had my OB is not covered by a condom), I am on daily suppressive therapy, and I am taking l-lysine, Vitamin C, and zinc daily. I also use tea tree oil on the spot where I had my OB and around it. I work out and eat fairly healthy. Obviously we won't have sex if I'm having an OB. So I am trying to do everything I can to minimize the risk. We waited 2.5 weeks after my OB completely healed and 10 days after I started the suppressive therapy to have sex again (doctor said to wait a week, gave it a few extra days). Lubrication hasn't really been an issue, but I did get some just in case since I do enjoy very rigorous sex and I don't want that to cause an OB. Not sure if this matters, but the antibodies on my IgG were pretty high.

:confused: My question is about prodrome (I think that is what it is called) symptoms. I am worried, because I didn't have any symptoms before my 1st OB. So I don't know how I can tell if I am going to have another OB. Do most people just avoid sex whenever they feel something might not be right? I guess that is the safest way, especially until I understand how H affects my body. For the most part, everything has felt just like it did before my OB. My 1st OB was right after Thanksgiving so I feel like I am still overly sensitive to everything down there. Like every tingle or itch is a symptom, even though I know most of it is in my head or unrelated to H. I haven't had a 2nd OB (that I know of). I guess I just want to know what most people do, thoughts, reassurance, opinions, and/or advice.

I know it might sound like I am overly thinking about this or worrying too much. Its not that, I just want to protect my partner as much as possible. I'm not stressed about it though - Don't want to cause an OB! ;) This question had been in the back of my mind, so I though I'd ask. I actually feel better just typing it out.

I would appreciate any responses! Thank you in advance. :)

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fattypatty

Good for you!!! The world needs more who are serving their partners with compassion. I too am rather hypochondiac about every little itch. I'm sure we will grow out of that. Glad you are brave enough for sex. I can't imagine getting back in that saddle myself. But then I'm older and it is easier to refocus. I also am clueless to whether I am asymptomatic or not.

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Easton1234

I am having my first o. B. And am taking meds 5 times a day. I also am worried about what happens next. I don't want my boyfriend to get it and have an outbreak, although I'm pretty sure I got it from him in the first place. I mean well deff. use condoms but I'm still worried about the whole shedding thing and being able to tell when an outbreak is coming on.

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norcallove

Thanks patty and easton for your replies! :flowers:

Patty - Thank you. I care about my partner and would never want to do anything to hurt him. In a perfect world I guess that would always be the case, but I know that's not true unfortunately. I like to think of myself as a very caring and compassionate person in general though. This is all so new to me, but I believe in time I will get to understand my body better and understand how H affects me. Luckily, I know my partner will be very patient with me. I don't think I would be brave enough to have sex again if I wasn't already in a relationship and he wasn't so accepting of me having H. I know we both care about each other a lot and want a future together. Of course, I hope he doesn't get H, but we both know the risks and accept it. Here is to hoping we both grow out of the hypochondriac stage soon :) Once again, thank you for your reply. Take care. :)

Easton - Has your bf been tested? He might already have the virus. If he does, you can't give it to him more. If that is the case, then you'll have less to worry about. I know the hard and fast rule is obviously don't have sex if you're having an OB. I think the safest thing to do, especially in the beginning, is to avoid sex if everything doesn't feel right down there. That is what I am going to do until I understand how my body reacts better. If your BF doesn't have it you can go on daily suppressive medicine (I take valtrex daily, a lower dosage than during my OB) and use condoms. I hope you're doing well and your first OB isn't too bad. :) I am fairly new to this (diagnosed about 6 weeks ago), but I am here for you if you have any questions.

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Easton1234

Thanks

Thank you so much for all your support. He said that he was tested in the past and that he was neg. I know that he needs to be tested again since it was about five years ago. As for my OB it seems to have gone almost completely away however it will be a while until the first encounter as I am still pretty upset about it and worried about every little tingle or anything that I feel in my downstairs area......I'm sure I'll get over it but it will take sometime. Again thank you for all your support this is such a helpful site and I know I can always come here and get my questions answered and find support. Thanks a bunch ! :proud:

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6879760

Where did you get your lysine supplement from? Just a supplement store or vitamin store?

I'm taking Valtrex daily, along with vitamin c everyday. I've had it type 2 for two and a half years, I still can't figure out when I'm going to get an OB. It's not common any more though, to get an outbreak, but when I get the occasional one it just seems to pop up. This scares me when getting into a new relationship because I have to hope that the Valtrex will cover me in the time just before an outbreak.

Argg.. It's so sketchy.

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norcallove

Easton - You're welcome! Thank you for your support as well. :) Yea, he should get tested again. Sometimes it seems like men drag their feet when it has anything to do with the doctors though lol. While I am worried about passing it to my BF because I care about him and don't want him to have to deal with this, he did accept the risk. So, I guess we should maybe stop worrying so much about it :) Of course, we should still use all of the methods to decrease the risk, but I hopefully in time we can stop worrying so much. Also, in time we will get to know our bodies better. Until then - I guess we will just be very cautious. At least, that is what I think the best thing to do. Plus, most people actually get it from people who don't know, not the other way around. It's funny though, I think I am a lot more worried about giving it to him than he is about getting it. So if he isn't too worried about it, why should I.

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norcallove

6879760 - I got my lysine supplement from a vitamin store. It was actually buy one get one free lol. I started taking lysine, vitamin c, zinc, and Valtrex daily after my 1st OB. I didn't have any symptoms before my 1st OB, so I don't really know what to "look" for now. I think because my 1st one was pretty mild, this will continue to be the case. Who knows though. I feel you on being scared though. I want to do everything to protect my partner so he doesn't get it. I really feel like I am doing that though. It is so sketchy! I wish this virus acted typical sometimes lol... nothing about it is truly typically and it varies from person to person.

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6879760

Norcal - Thanks for that! I need to find one, not sure where there are any around here though.. My mom was suggesting I take the suppliments before the daily, but I'd rather keep all my bases covered. I'm trying to get into exercising on a regular basis. My first OB was horrible, pretty much every bad thing that could happen.. happened. But now when I do get one, it's like, one or two little bumps and that's it. But no tingling, or itchy-ness. Bleh.

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norcallove
Norcal - Thanks for that! I need to find one, not sure where there are any around here though.. My mom was suggesting I take the suppliments before the daily, but I'd rather keep all my bases covered. I'm trying to get into exercising on a regular basis. My first OB was horrible, pretty much every bad thing that could happen.. happened. But now when I do get one, it's like, one or two little bumps and that's it. But no tingling, or itchy-ness. Bleh.

You're welcome. I hope you can find l-lysine. I've seen it at grocery stores, walgreens, rite aid, etc. Plus, you can always get it online. I am trying to have all of my bases covered as well, especially since I am new to all of this! I was exercising regularly, but got out of my routine a bit w/ the diagnosis (fatigue) and the holidays. I am getting back into it now. I've only had my 1st OB (end of November). I'm glad your OBs are getting better. :)

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      Him holding my hips, grabbing ass, then grabbing his cock is what I worry about. I also worry about shedding anywhere from the boxer shorts area and that's a mighty big area. It is the unknown. It would be nice to cover the entire area and then I just don't have to worry! Then the part that is exposed which  would be a very small spot. Maybe cover with that liquid glove?!? I just like the idea of doing my best
    • 35hope
    • Hairpees
      I wouldn’t because that would be outing myself as well unfortunately. It just sucks because our mutual friends have no clue why I carry such resentment towards him, and wonder why they can’t even bring up his name around me anymore. Im sure they think I’m a crazy jealous person who is hurt things didn’t work out or that I’m being dramatic for no reason. I can’t explain to or confide in anyone but the users on this forum.
    • Jorjanewnew
      Girl! I am actually on the same exact position. My new bf gave it to me and he put the blame on me! When he was my 2nd partner and I hadn’t had sex in 5 years (last guy was a virgin). I know that alone feeling but know you’re not alone. I just got diagnosed 2 weeks ago too. It’s crazy you see yourself differently but I promise no one around you does.
    • Cas9
      How would that location (upper crack) come in contact with him during doggy style sex? Maybe after the act if he fell on top of you while you're face down. I would suggest simply observing whether there are sores in these areas that are somewhat removed from the genital area. If there are no sores than the odds of you transferring to him such as the lower stomach or leg etc.., are pretty damn low. Obviously, we can come always come up with a scenario where you could transmit. For example, if you were on your stomach and he was sliding his dick up and down your butt crack and you had sores there, then yes, he could get infected. If you were just shedding there it would be less likely but possible. But try doing that with your clothes on. I don't think that would work out very well; Do you?  Wearing clothes during sex like that woman you portrayed in your earlier comment is sexy. But that's all together different.
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