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FeelBrandedForLife

New to this site, feeling trapped

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FeelBrandedForLife

Where do I start? Hold on to your seats...

8 years ago I met J. 9 months into the relationship I wanted to break it off with him because he just wasn't a nice guy and I didn't want to waste anymore time. The same week I was breaking up with him, I discovered an outbreak. I went to the Doc ASAP and was diagnosed with HSV2. I literally thought my life was over...totally devastated. I had very little partners and had always been so careful. J knew he had it and didn't tell me. To this day a part of me still hates him. Because I felt branded for life and thought that no one would ever want to date me, I married him. I know, I know...terrible and ridiculous. We have been married for 6 years now. We have two gorgeous children, but I know in my heart that I only married him because I thought I was the only one in the world who had HSV2...that I know personally. I have NEVER told anyone. He and I are the only ones that know (besides my Doctor) and I feel like it's such a dirty secret. He won't even tell his Doctor. I have wanted to divorce him for a very long time, but feel stuck because of the HSV2. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I can't imagine trying to date one day and telling someone that I have it. I have never had to do that because I married the person who gave it to me. The thought of that makes me want to suck it up and just suffer in this relationship.

I guess this is a way for me to vent...especially since I've never told anyone and I can't talk about it with him, because he's in denial. I can't get advice from my parents or friends because I really can't tell them.

Can I dig myself any deeper because I let HSV2 control me? Marry him, have two kids, and waste 6 years of my young life?...that's pretty much as deep I can get. I've finally reached the bottom. How do I recover from that?

How many people in the US are estimated to have HSV2?

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oblong

Sorry to hear your story. I'm really sorry for the upset you're feeling. I just wanted to say that I've been on this site for less than 24 hours and I've already spoken to so many great people who are living with HSV - everyone is so posiitve and supportive. The site has already made me feel that, when I (hopefully) get through a predictament I've got myself into, that there really is an opportunity to meet someone who is also affected by HSV which effectively makes HSV a meaningless issue in the relationship (as both have it). I think you should spend a bit of time in the chat room and talk to some of the friendly, supportive people there - I'm not saying it will help immediately but it offers some hope that there are loads of great people around who aren't at all worried about having a partner with HSV as it's not an issue to them (since they have it too). I really hope things improve for you and this site helps to lift your spirits.

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WarriorKing

Roughly 30 million women and 10 million men have HSV2. Most do not know it.

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  • The Hive is Thriving!

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      Tested negative for both 1&2 for western blot. 
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