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New to this site, feeling trapped

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Where do I start? Hold on to your seats...

8 years ago I met J. 9 months into the relationship I wanted to break it off with him because he just wasn't a nice guy and I didn't want to waste anymore time. The same week I was breaking up with him, I discovered an outbreak. I went to the Doc ASAP and was diagnosed with HSV2. I literally thought my life was over...totally devastated. I had very little partners and had always been so careful. J knew he had it and didn't tell me. To this day a part of me still hates him. Because I felt branded for life and thought that no one would ever want to date me, I married him. I know, I know...terrible and ridiculous. We have been married for 6 years now. We have two gorgeous children, but I know in my heart that I only married him because I thought I was the only one in the world who had HSV2...that I know personally. I have NEVER told anyone. He and I are the only ones that know (besides my Doctor) and I feel like it's such a dirty secret. He won't even tell his Doctor. I have wanted to divorce him for a very long time, but feel stuck because of the HSV2. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I can't imagine trying to date one day and telling someone that I have it. I have never had to do that because I married the person who gave it to me. The thought of that makes me want to suck it up and just suffer in this relationship.

I guess this is a way for me to vent...especially since I've never told anyone and I can't talk about it with him, because he's in denial. I can't get advice from my parents or friends because I really can't tell them.

Can I dig myself any deeper because I let HSV2 control me? Marry him, have two kids, and waste 6 years of my young life?...that's pretty much as deep I can get. I've finally reached the bottom. How do I recover from that?

How many people in the US are estimated to have HSV2?

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Sorry to hear your story. I'm really sorry for the upset you're feeling. I just wanted to say that I've been on this site for less than 24 hours and I've already spoken to so many great people who are living with HSV - everyone is so posiitve and supportive. The site has already made me feel that, when I (hopefully) get through a predictament I've got myself into, that there really is an opportunity to meet someone who is also affected by HSV which effectively makes HSV a meaningless issue in the relationship (as both have it). I think you should spend a bit of time in the chat room and talk to some of the friendly, supportive people there - I'm not saying it will help immediately but it offers some hope that there are loads of great people around who aren't at all worried about having a partner with HSV as it's not an issue to them (since they have it too). I really hope things improve for you and this site helps to lift your spirits.

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Roughly 30 million women and 10 million men have HSV2. Most do not know it.

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Try a Lysine supplement for cold sores

  • The Hive is Thriving!

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    • Chicken23
      Kelly bean yes I had an ulcer in my mouth. I know it' unusual but as soon as he had told me that I got it swabbed and it came back positive. Then I had a blood test and that came back positive as well.   Anon222 Thank you it's just incredibly difficult thing to deal with. Especially being such a new thing to me.  It will change things though. I will never rest easy. I will always be worried about getting another one come up, I will have to pay expenses for preventative measures. I will have to tell everyone that wants to kiss me (not that I go around just kissing people but as this is life long never know how many people that may be) so it will be changing a lotg for me. I will never feel comfortable just kissing someone anymore. I will always be worried about passing it onto them. It changes my whole life. I will never be able to kiss a new born baby (If I ever have another child)  I will not be able to do so many things without stress and worry for the rest of my life:( 
    • Anon222
      Hey there Chicken, I agree with what helpme said. Really no one cares about OHSV-1. Not to diminish your feelings but I just want you to know that it’s going to be okay. You honestly don’t have to worry about this at all. As he also said you are now in the MAJORITY of people. Please just go on living your normal life this should not change anything at all! Good luck! 
    • helpme12345
      I know blood test doesn't tell location. I know i have it orally since i had it as a child but i dont have any breakouts at all, the last breakout i remember was inside my lips when i was a kid. Like me my friends and my gf we are all asymptomatic orally. im just worried if the above mention symptoms say i have ghsv1?  and about disclosure im happy to tell. im not scared of it im just worried if i got it in the genitals, although all my doctors say im fine.
    • Hairpees
      I don’t understand this post. You seem highly concerned of having herpes for someone who already tested positive for herpes. Your girlfriend has tested positive for herpes. What more is there to freak out about? Blood tests do not tell you location, are you worried if you break up how you will handle disclosure To someone else? That’s where I’m getting confused. 
    • mconcerned1986
      Tested negative for both 1&2 for western blot. 

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