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FieldHockeyChick

By FieldHockeyChick
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FieldHockeyChick Newbie

FieldHockeyChick

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I found out two days ago that i have herpes. My recent fiance tells me that if he comes back negative he is leaving me. im scared not only of losing him but that if i do nobody would ever love me. that id be alone for the rest of my life. advice or something please!

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WarriorKing Platinum Support Member

WarriorKing

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Your recent fiance is an idiot to not get educated first before saying such words to someone that he was just ready to make a lifelong commitment to. 1 in 5 women has genital herpes. 1 in 10 men have it. Over 70 percent of the population has the oral strain. There are millions of men that would want you.

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RLJ Honeycomb Member

RLJ

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Hi, I know this probably isn't what you want to hear but if this is his reason for leaving you he didn't love you in the first place and isn't worth your time. If he chooses to stay with you just because he is positive too then ther is still no real love ther. He is just choosing to stay with you because he feals he woulnt be able to find anyone else. You have to ask yourself is he worth staying with under thes conditions. Also ther are many of with herpes and undrstand the virus enough not to be shallow. So yes you can and will be able to find someone else, someone deserving of you!

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dan345 Newbie

dan345

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I think getting herpes is the best thing that can happen to someone. Let me tell you why. Now you aren't going around acting on every sexual desire and getting involved with people you probably shouldn't get involved with. People who don't want to be with you because of it, don't truly like/love you. We are now forced to do things the old fashion way and develope something meaningfull before disclosing. I think its time everyone just relaxes about herpes and realizes that things in life do happen for a reason. You should leave your fiance, whether you gave him herpes or not, because that comment in its own right its a direct reflection of his personality, assuming you were not sure you had it, he should not say that.

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heffsangel Honeycomb Member

heffsangel

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if he left u then no he didnt care or loveyou...i just found out i was effected a few days ago and im married for 7 yrs and we had no idea that either of us were effected with this.but we are and no i didnt get mad or leave because i love my husband and he didnt no he had it so if he cared he would have understood.......

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heffsangel Honeycomb Member

heffsangel

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well then i guess his love has conditions.first of u r not alone to accept n understand tis disease will be better for us.as for love there will be a person who will trully love u for u.not threaten to leave when u r sick.......

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Eosino Honeycomb Member

Eosino

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That disgusts me! He is not worth your time if he is going to be such a prick to you. I would not want to stay with someone who has that kind of attitude. You can do so much better.

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misshoneybee Honeycomb Member

misshoneybee

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Well at least he's shown his true colours before you got married. I wouldn't wait around to find out if he has it or not, I'd be packing his stuff and asking him to leave.

Would you walk away from him if he had coldsores and you didn't? Pathetic. Really. I'm shocked that anyone who loves you enough to marry you would treat you this way.

You deserve better!

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Eosino Honeycomb Member

Eosino

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My boyfriend and I found out that we have herpes together. If anything this brought us closer and strengthened our bond. We are working together to keep healthy and reduce outbreaks, i wish your fiance had the same attitude. He just sounds like a huge sissy to me. Not a real man at all.

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SEBASTIAN1965 Honeycomb Member

SEBASTIAN1965

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You are not alone

As I read this, I realized how lucky I am to have a very understanding BF. It is not easy, I was diagnosed 01/04/10 wITH TYPE 2. I did not have a very big OB, only two little sores, no pain, just a little bit of fluid. I was positive on my test for Type 1, and negative on the type two because there is no antibodies yet. The swab came out positive for the Type 2. I never new I had type one, because I had never had oral sores. Let me clarify, I had some minor things on my mouse, but I never thought of it as type one. Do not know who gave it me. I think maybe my ex, because I remember him getting big sores on his lips whenever he would get sick with the cold. Anyway I do agree with some of the answers here. I would drop him in a second just for making that comment. He is not worth it. Reflect before you marry him. You are so much more than the skin condition we have.

xoxxox

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package deal Platinum Support Member

package deal

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your fiance is a jerk. Sorry but that was very cruel thing to say to you. If he comes back positive tell him your the one leaving. Is this the kind of man you really want to spend your life with? What he did is called mental abuse. many men will want you.

and how does he know he got it from you anyway it possible he the one who gave it to you. many men will want you. read the side boards very good info there also under newly diagnosed i posted a link to a very good video for newly diagnosed herpie patients. it also has free handbook that you cvcan download.

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MsLucy Platinum Support Member

MsLucy

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Seriously... dump his ass. NOW. It's better to be alone for a while than to be stuck with the likes of him. If you stay with him, he'll make your life a living hell. Run while you can!!!!

trust me... there is love after herpes, and you'll find it. But not with him!

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Mom in Illinois Honeycomb Member

Mom in Illinois

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So...if he comes back positive is he going to stay with you? Wouldn't it be ironic is HE were the one to give it to YOU? I agree with everyone who has posted something here...Leave him...he is NOT worth it. And Dan 345 has it spot on...this makes us do things the RIGHT was, by getting to know the people we want to be with, not just jumping in the sack with every Tom, Dick or Harry cuz we're horny or lonely or whatever.

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FieldHockeyChick Newbie

FieldHockeyChick

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Thanks for the advice everyone. Originally when i told him he was scared and freaked out so that was his original reaction, we have gotten much closer over the past few days and he regrets saying that.

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Sunshine2you Established Member

Sunshine2you

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I totally agree with misshoneybee, who said that your fiance is showing his true colors. I'm SO sorry that you have to go through this heartache, first the diagnosis and then the prospect of losing someone who you obviously love and trust. Maybe he is scared and needs time to deal with his feelings and emotions about your diagnosis (and I am not justifying his terrible behavior one bit, just trying to understand it), and maybe he needs to learn more about this virus. However, if he wants to continue a relationship with you, he has some serious apologizing to do. When you love someone and commit to them, you don't leave them when they need you most, period. You deserve better than that, okay? Hope things get better for you soon.

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