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janay

need advice in Georgia

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janay

I have a question and would like some opinions. I was recently diagnosed with herpes given from my ex. I was told that his ex has been diagnosed as well and there is a possiblity he knew he had when we engaged in sex. They are back together and neither one will tell me when she tested positive. I had negative blood test a month before sex with him and had positive culture test a week after sex. He's the only person I've been with. I believe he knew he could passed to me.. I know I decided to have sex with him but he was dishonest the entire time. He cried with me when I got the news. can I file claim against him

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JBnATL

Hi, welcome to the 'club'!

You would be wasting your time in filing a claim against him. You would have to prove that he knew he had it and that would almost be impossible to prove. And unless he has a lot of money it would really not be worth your time.

If you were a virgin before him, why did you take a blood test? If you were not a virgin there is always a chance you could have had it and have yet to build up the antibodies the test looks for.

Check out www.atlantahclub.com it is a social group here that meets monthly. There is also a support group that meets every second Thursday at Piedmont Hospital. That group really helped me out when I was first diagnosed. I plan on going this coming Thursday. You can find out the details of the meeting on that website or PM me and I can give it to you. At the last meeting they mentioned that the percentage of those in the ATL that had genital herpes is 33%.

Come to the Chat Room, there you will find many nice Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!

JB

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Tiny

My abusive ex gave it to me on purpose. Its a long story. But he was well aware of what he was doing and later took the time to tell me that I deserved it because I had ruined his life (he did that in writing so I suppose I had evidence). But you know what, I never even considered legal action. Firstly, for me to go through that emotionally would not have been healthy having my life picked apart by lawyers. Secondly what would the damages realistically be...there is unlikely to be loss of earnings, the only actual costs are those of the medication, possibly pain and suffering but unless you could prove that it would be hard to get a lot of money...you would really have to struck it lucky on punitive damages (that being said I think the law in Australia is a little different when it come to damages). It appears, at least in Australia they are only just starting to have successful prosecutions (and therefore precedents are starting to be set) with HIV, but they are criminal rather than civil cases at this stage...HIV does have the whole terminal aspect. It is hard, when you are suffering not to want to punish the person who put you in that situation. But you know what the less you think about them the better...that person did a bad thing to you...don't let them continue to be a part of your life--they don't deserve that power. Which takes me to my third point, for me it was healthier to disassociate my herpes from the person who gave it to me and dedicate no more of my life to thinking about him--because then in my head he continued to beat me.

JBinAtl makes a fantastic offer, look forward...meet people who can help and support you...get some counselling...those are much more productive and positive things for you to do.

Thing will get better...they always do :-)

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      I wouldn’t because that would be outing myself as well unfortunately. It just sucks because our mutual friends have no clue why I carry such resentment towards him, and wonder why they can’t even bring up his name around me anymore. Im sure they think I’m a crazy jealous person who is hurt things didn’t work out or that I’m being dramatic for no reason. I can’t explain to or confide in anyone but the users on this forum.
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      Girl! I am actually on the same exact position. My new bf gave it to me and he put the blame on me! When he was my 2nd partner and I hadn’t had sex in 5 years (last guy was a virgin). I know that alone feeling but know you’re not alone. I just got diagnosed 2 weeks ago too. It’s crazy you see yourself differently but I promise no one around you does.
    • Cas9
      How would that location (upper crack) come in contact with him during doggy style sex? Maybe after the act if he fell on top of you while you're face down. I would suggest simply observing whether there are sores in these areas that are somewhat removed from the genital area. If there are no sores than the odds of you transferring to him such as the lower stomach or leg etc.., are pretty damn low. Obviously, we can come always come up with a scenario where you could transmit. For example, if you were on your stomach and he was sliding his dick up and down your butt crack and you had sores there, then yes, he could get infected. If you were just shedding there it would be less likely but possible. But try doing that with your clothes on. I don't think that would work out very well; Do you?  Wearing clothes during sex like that woman you portrayed in your earlier comment is sexy. But that's all together different.
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