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my sad story


collegechic

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So i'm a newcomer to this site. I just found out that I had HSV II about a week ago.

Well, as you can all imagine, I am very very upset about this, especially since the circumstances that I caught it were definitely upsetting as well. I can't talk to anyone about this, but I have to talk about it, or I'm going to go crazy. Here goes:

So I just recently graduated college and decided to study abroad in Spain for a year. I was thinking Europe, partying, drinking, relaxing, traveling, etc etc. I come here and meet this guy (who's 8 years older than me), who is really really nice to me. Of course I am wary at first because I think he's just nice to me to get sex, but he did show that he cared for me in terms of actions. Since I didn't know anyone in the country at the time, we ended up spending a lot of time together for about a month. I ended up trusting him, and we were not having a sexual relationship. We were friends (and only friends).

So one day, we're back at my place drinking, and the alcohol hits me hard. I was really tired/sick from the alcohol, so I go to my bed to lie down. The next thing I remember is that he is on top of me having sex with me. I thought it was a dream, so I went back to sleep. Don't remember anything more. Next thing I know, it's morning, he's sleeping next to me naked. I asked him what happened, and he says that he has fallen in love with me and couldn't resist when I was sleeping. I start freaking out. He assures me that he is clean and that he got tested for STDs that same month. However, he did have unprotected sex with me, so I got the full blast of whatever he had.

Sure enough, 3 days after, I get the symptoms of H - irritation, pain, blisters, redness, discharge (turned out that I had a bacterial infection as well). He didn't have any symptoms up to this point, and when I told him that he gave me H, he started to cry. He swore he didn't know and then went in for testing. He still tells me that he loves me. I don't know whether I should feel sorry for him or be completely disgusted. I'm very confused about all of this, and the worst part is, I don't know anyone well enough here to tell someone about the situation and cry.

I haven't slept with many people in my life (only 2 before with serious boyfriends, and I was always very careful). This was only one time I had sex unprotected with some guy, and that's all it took. I'm only 21. I thought this was a disease that people got because they slept around, wasn't careful, etc etc so I never had much sympathy for them. Well... after reading around this site, my thoughts on that changed drastically. I sympathize with all of you.

As for the guy, I couldn't press charges. If I was in the states, I definitely would have because I was sexaully assaulted, but this is Spain, and I don't know what the system is like here. I don't have insurance, no status. Plus, my Spanish isn't that good.

This is my sad story, and I'm too shocked and numb to even cry. Funny how your life can change in a split second.

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dear collegechic,

as i write this to you, a herpes ad in australia is running on the tele, i think it's becoming an epidemic and people are spreading it without realising, 1 in 8 australians have it now. i'm so sorry to hear about what happened to you. he had no right to do what he did. i'm so sorry. i felt the same as you did, thought uncareful people got this and then i did and my whole perspective on life changed, i realised things i never concidered before. it's a sad story of yours indeed but i believe you will be fine. you sound like a stable person that had something bad happen to you and if you keep your head i believe you will be fine, goodluck, j (a university girl too)

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