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cml

New and so frustrated...help?

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cml

Hello all, I am 21 year old about to graduate from college and become a nurse. I have everything going for me except one thing...oh make that 2 - cold sores AND GH. I have had cold sores for the past 4 years and absolutely hate them. I used to get them once a month but now its about every 3 months.

As far as the GH, I haven't gotten tested but I am 99% sure I have it. Like I said before, I am a nursing major so I know the signs and symptoms and I definitely have it. I'm just not exactly sure how I got it. Apparently you get you're first outbreak about 2 weeks after being exposed to the virus. However I have not had sexual contact in the past 2 weeks or had a cold sore in the past 2 weeks. I think that I may have transferred the virus myself from my mouth to "down there" and this makes me even more angry.

I am just so depressed about this whole situation. Having cold sores was bad enough, but now GH is going to make life even more difficult. I just don't know what to do. How am I supposed to date? I just feel like people my age are so turned off to the whole herpes stigma - and i was too before i had it. I just need some pointers as to how to go about dating. I don't want to tell someone too soon and have them reject me and then tell the whole world I have herpes.

HELP!

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RealisticGal
Hello all, I am 21 year old about to graduate from college and become a nurse. I have everything going for me except one thing...oh make that 2 - cold sores AND GH. I have had cold sores for the past 4 years and absolutely hate them. I used to get them once a month but now its about every 3 months.

As far as the GH, I haven't gotten tested but I am 99% sure I have it. Like I said before, I am a nursing major so I know the signs and symptoms and I definitely have it. I'm just not exactly sure how I got it. Apparently you get you're first outbreak about 2 weeks after being exposed to the virus. However I have not had sexual contact in the past 2 weeks or had a cold sore in the past 2 weeks. I think that I may have transferred the virus myself from my mouth to "down there" and this makes me even more angry.

I am just so depressed about this whole situation. Having cold sores was bad enough, but now GH is going to make life even more difficult. I just don't know what to do. How am I supposed to date? I just feel like people my age are so turned off to the whole herpes stigma - and i was too before i had it. I just need some pointers as to how to go about dating. I don't want to tell someone too soon and have them reject me and then tell the whole world I have herpes.

HELP!

Your feelings right now are pretty typical.

But herpes is no reason to believe your dating life is over. The stigma is manufactured and recent. It didn't exist until a few decades ago, though herpes simplex has been around for thousands of years. Someone here recently suggested that the stigma originated around the time that Acyclovir was developed. Interesting theory, that!

Anyway, one thing you need to know is that a primary outbreak does not always fall within the "classic" 2 to 20 days after exposure. Some folks seem to have their primary outbreak months or even years after they contracted herpes. There are theories that some of them are actually having a recurrence when they believe it is a primary outbreak, and that their primary went unnoticed/undiagnosed.

You should get tested. As a medical student, you also ought to break through the misconceptions about herpes and learn that "it isn't always herpes." Even though you have a lot of knowledge, even experts in STIs can make mistakes diagnosing herpes by visual exam alone. The estimate I've read is that at least 20% of visual "diagnoses" of herpes are wrong.

Herpes is a chameleon. While there are "classic" symptoms and courses of the infection, there are many instances where it does not follow that course. Just think about the 70% or so of those who are infected but do not know it, due to atypical symptoms or no symptoms at all.

Anyway, stick around here and investigate some of the links on the right side of the page, as well as the various areas of this forum. You can find answers or tips to many of the questions in your mind, including the dating dilemma and how to approach "the talk." There are many HSV positive folks here who can reassure you that their dating lives are quite active and happy, and they do disclose.

Along those lines, I will just mention that I believe "The right time to tell is anytime before becoming intimate." So you can wait until you feel sure you are headed that direction with a potential partner. But I don't recommend waiting until clothing is hitting the floor! :laugh:

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RealisticGal
Thanks for the info - im definitely gonna get tested next week!

I hope by "next week," you mean sometime around this Monday the 10th or shortly after. Swab/culture tests tend to be much less accurate when the sample is not taken from a "fresh" lesion, often yielding false negative results.

If you can't get in to see your regular care provider in a timely fashion, you could go to a clinic.

Take care...

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