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Moving4word

Moving Forward

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Moving4word

I have to start off by saying I LOVE this website support group!! I've been doing A LOT of research these past few weeks and this is by far the best I’ve seen.

As for me I'm a mother of two who just recently went through a breakup with my boyfriend of over 4 years. It was a rough breakup and I made a stupid mistake of having a "one night stand" with someone I really didn’t know all that well. I found out I had GH 2 days before Christmas so needless to say I've spent the past few weeks crying my eyes out and making myself invisible to everyone around me. I was embarrassed and ashamed of what I had done not to mention the fear of never being loved again. Then I got freaked that my kids my get it and sterilized everything I touched.....(lets just say I have a very clean house right now).

Since finding out I told my sister and two of my friends who have been extremely supportive. My sister now calls me every night to see how things are going (we used to talk maybe twice a month so if nothing else its brought us closer). One of my friends also told me she knows a few other people that have it and they live normal HAPPY lives now which put some hope back in me.

I realized that I need to just move forward and deal with it. Although I'm far from ready to do the whole dating thing again I am a bit nervous about telling them what I have but I guess I will deal with that when the time comes.

Reading the comments has been very inspirational especially one I read tonight. I'm not quite sure why cause when I read the first line I was surprised by what they had said. As I read I couldn’t agree more with them. Although it sounded harsh....it was the truth. I don’t know if I'm allowed to repost what someone else wrote but I'm going to anyways.....

I think getting herpes is the best thing that can happen to someone. Let me tell you why. Now you aren't going around acting on every sexual desire and getting involved with people you probably shouldn't get involved with. People who don't want to be with you because of it, don't truly like/love you. We are now forced to do things the old fashion way and develope something meaningfull before disclosing. I think its time everyone just relaxes about herpes and realizes that things in life do happen for a reason.

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JBnATL

Many people have told me that getting herpes changed their lives for the better. I completely agree with your post, thanks for sharing.

Come to the Chat Room, there you will find many nice Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!

JB

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Sunshine2you

Hi Moving4word,

I just wanted to let you know that I have found a lot of comfort with this forum, too. I was diagnosed with herpes a little over a month ago, and was (and still am) totally devastated. The comments I have read, along with the success stories, have made me realize that I'm not alone and that things will get better for me. They will get better for you, too.

Please don't blame yourself for anything, including the one-night stand. You were grieving the end of a relationship, and you did something that you thought was going to make you feel better. You didn't do anything wrong. Herpes is a nasty little virus that is so easy to catch (so I've learned), and some people go for years before finding out that they have it-not fair.

Hopefully by the time you read this message, you will be feeling much better. Take care.

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    • WilsoInAus
      That's exactly right, you can return to your life and get the blood test as a sleep easy in 12 weeks time (from the last episode).
    • Laurenhelena
      Him and his ex have regular breakouts with all the traditional symptoms and I believe he was swabbed.  So I can return to life as it was before all of this drama ? I may still look into a blood test is I am confident it is accurate 
    • WilsoInAus
      @Laurenhelena how is this guy sure he has herpes? All sounding a bit odd to me. Yes it is very unlikely you will develop lesions now. Rubbing skin to skin is required for any feasible transmission chance. The odds of transmission with unprotected vaginal sex are of the order of 0.08% per epsiode. Halve this if a condom is worn. Compare that to chamydia that has about a 33% chance of transmission with unprotected sex; now that's contagious!
    • Laurenhelena
      I just feel that it’s known as such a contagious STD - I’ve been lying to my family cause when I tried to talk about it they became very anxious and begged me to tell them I hadn’t slept with him when I had - If someone told me that they slept with someone with genital herpes my mind would instantly think they had it.  So it’s unlikely then that I’m going to get symptoms now? I’m not going anything further with that guy but we have cuddled and kissed in bed with underwear on, is that ok?  Im quite sure he has hsv2 given that his ex gave it to him through a threesome  I’ve never had a cold sore   
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Laurenhelena i think by your own admission you are letting fear get the better of you. Any flu symptoms (immune toxic shock) happen after the lesions, not before. Remember that most instances of sexual activity do not result in transmission of herpes. In the end it takes one exposure... but how many times has the person received oral sex from someone with HSV-1? or had sex with someone with HSV-2 even if they didn't know it was present? The UK has amongst the lowest incidence of genital HSV-2 in the world! There's a very good chance he has HSV-1. This means much lower transmission chances than you might think and even a chance it is near zero if you have an oral HSV-1 infection yourself!
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