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Mrs Purple

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Mrs Purple Honeycomb Member

Mrs Purple

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I was told last wk that i have herpes. My dr. said it's no big deal bc it's so common and left it at that. It's still hard to believe. I have been married for 5 yrs to a wonderful man and we have both been faithful to each other. We have to awesome little girls together. My husband has had cold sores or ulcers in his mouth in the past, so the dr. said i got it from oral sex. I didn't even know that was possible. I don't blame him at all and if i would have known, it wouldn't of changed anything. He has been great since i found out and it has brought us closer. The hardest part for me is thinking of the future. I'v had 2 outbreaks in the past 2 months. There not horrible, but I could do without. I'm just worried this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. If anyone has any positive words they would like to share i would really appreciate it. And if anyone has info on how they have prevented furthur outbreaks please share. I know stress is one of the biggest. I'm trying to stay positive. I know I haven't changes and try to remember that it's just another thing to make me stonger and it could be worse.

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elmerette Established Member

elmerette

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Mrs Purple,

I didn't know it was possible to get genital herpes from oral sex either, so don't feel alone. In March it will be a year since diagnosis, and my ob's have lessened in severity and frequency. It will get better with time, this I promise you! I am so glad that you and your husband avoided "the blame game" and instead are supporting and loving each other. As long as you guys stick together, it will be ok.

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package deal Platinum Support Member

package deal

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welcome to the board. Yes it does sosusnd like your hubby had herpies 1 before you two got together, and your right not to blame him. You dont relise how many people have herpies one and dont think anything about it other then they have a fever blister and dont know it herpies let alone that it contagious. At least it not herpies 2. Your love life wont change. He cannot reinfect you as you already have it. However be careful about him giving you oral sex you can get herpies one in your privates. if you go to newly diagnosed and look up topic neewly diagnosed must read you find a link to not only to a downloadable handbook but video on it too that very good be careful about kissing your kids as you could pass it onto them. give hugs instead

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Lost321 Honeycomb Member

Lost321

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Mrs. Purple,

Hang in there! Try not to let it get you down for too long; there is still so much in life to enjoy. I also heard from my doctor and from people in the forum that "H" is very common; it is just that there are a lot of people who do not know they have it or others just don't know they have it. I think a part of feeling so bad (I was recently diagnosed-two weeks ago) is that there is a lot of social stigma attached to the idea of it. I try to remember the more positive things in life to appreciate and feel thankful for; that's what helps me to smile when I'm down. I'm glad for you that your husband is being supportive; I've been fortunate as well that my best friend has been so supportive of me through all of this so far. It just shows you that you've got real love and someone who will love you unconditionally plus you've got two little girls--even more love :). Keep your chin up and don't forget to smile :)

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Mrs Purple Honeycomb Member

Mrs Purple

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Thanks everyone! It's nice to hear and talk to other ppl who are going through the same thing. If anyone wants or needs to talk I'm here to listen and hopefully help anyway i can.

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puppy Newbie

puppy

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hello

Hello,

I am a 20 (almost 21) year old college student who was diagnosed with genital herpes about three months ago. I, also, contracted the disease from an oral sex encounter. These past three months have been very hard for me and I have felt very ashamed and sorry for myself. After finally coming to terms with everything, I have managed to do great research on herpes and how I can protect both myself and future partners. Although I have been receiving great therapy care from staff at school, I've kept my disease confidential to just my doctors, therapist, and my mother. Even though I have kept my infection secret, I would love to speak to somebody who has gone through it at my age!!!

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    • sgt98
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By sgt98 · Posted

      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By sgt98 · Posted

      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Looking for some insight on an atypical experience.

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hi @NerdP423 and welcome to the website. You raise a lot of points and I think the best way to address your concerns is add some comments at each key point. I've copied your note again below and added these comments in square brackets. I appreciate any insight (even speculation) as to what has been going on with me. I'm a 37y/o M. I last was intimate with a new partner on 2/11/2022, and a few days later started having a huge amount of discomfort in my face. [The first thing that happens though is that herpes causes lesions or at least some skin based disruption. Other symptoms are then related to the actions of the immune system responding to the virus. Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. [If this was a PCR then this will be very conclusive.] Practitioner said it may come back negative because it was already open. However the lab report noted that it definitely didn't look like what you'd expect a typical first herpes outbreak to look like [how would the lab know??]. All blood tests negative so far. I had two western blots, the second one was nine months after exposure. [Two negative Westernblots!!! Many that's real convincing]. All other swabs also negative. I went to urgent care, because I know the timeliness of when the Swab is taken matters. One time, a swab was not done, because practitioner said it was folliculitis and wouldn't swab it (It was at my belt line). [Belt line is highly unlikely to relate to herpes.]   A blood test revealed I had low-ish B12 (technically in range, but at the very low end, especially for a man of my size). I had a series of B12 injections, and I am taking a B12 supplement. I am not taking any lysine or arginine at the moment. I was taking the Arganine to see if I could induce an outbreak. [This is irrelevant, there is no known linkage between herpes outbreaks and arginine/lysine intake - its a myth - and B12 infers nothing.] I think what I am asking is - has anyone here ever repeatedly tested negative over and over again over long period of time, before getting a definitive answer, be a positive test, or something else? [The answer to this is: Extremely few people with a HSV-1 infection and even more rarely HSV-2 test repeatedly negative on Westernblot and actually carry the virus. Of the cases that I know of that had delayed detection by a swab and negative blood tests in the meantime (and that's only 3-4 cases), they had some form of lesions within days of infection but did not obtain a swab for various reasons and then obtained a positive swab of a subsequent lesion with the record being 11 months later. A couple of the cases did have some 'background' symptoms they thought might be related to herpes but that isn't ascertained and some did not have any unusual symptoms at all apart from the lesions. Hence as you did not have lesions around your mouth or lips within days of the last sexual encounter as is exceptionally common for a primary oral HSV-1 infection, that pretty much rules out herpes orally as it is. The fact that you had no genital symptoms for a month also rules out genital herpes. I am not aware of anyone at all who has genuinely gone on to test positive by swab or blood in your specific circumstances. There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
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