My experience over the past 4 months 33/M

[mv77]

Its not the end of the world as I've found it is more of an annoyance than anything else. It is more of a stigma with ignorant people. Believe me I thought I would be the LAST person to ever run into this (33/M Ivy League Grad, successful executive all the right background etc) and it doesn't discriminate! I find that getting plenty of rest, using purell, taking daily valtrex and lysine supplements has prevented the condition from being aggravated over the last 4 months I've known about it. I found out after having alot of sex with my gf as vigorous sex can trigger it to outbreak. Doc says it could have been latent for years. Thankfully it did not spread to her and I have been careful ever since. We did not allow this to end our relationship either.

[WarriorKing]

Great that you have seen the light The virus, it's severity compared to other medical issues, and the nonsense stigma can get way overblown.

[leigh21]

Do I need to take any meds if I really dont have breakouts?? Not having sex at all cause I am going through a divorce. What is lysine??? Good luck!!

[WarriorKing]

leigh21, the medications are usually for the people that either have rough breakouts that they want to suppress or if they are having relations with non herpes partners. Lysine is a supplement available at health food stores.

[4Real]

I guess there is hope ..best of luck!

[lookingforhope]

If my bf had stayed with me, it wouldn't have even bothered me that I have h.

[4Real]

lookingforhope, if my BF at the time stayed with me- or at least communicated with me instead of blocking my number (he was the giver of the lovely gift), I think I may have felt a little better. I do not think him and I would have been together forever-he was fun for the time... but at least if he was compassionate and truthful perhaps the closure would have helped with this situation. The psychologically emotions I am facing are insane and each OB make me so tearful and I have a worthless feeling about myself. BASTARD! He was with someone else within 2 month- gosh, the info you can get on FB these dayz!

[HorribleSurprise]

hello everyone,

i have hope somedays but this is one of my frustated days - where all i want is a cure.wherever i go , whatever i do - no matter how good im looking, i feel like everyone around me is so much better.

[8underpar]

I understand how this can make you feel. But you must realize that 25% of people have this darn thing. I remember the first person I told and was shocked at her reaction. She told me "no big deal...i have it too". You could imagine my relief. Keep your support circles here. I promise it gets better

[blessedbeauty]

glad to know you and your gf are together. it gives me some hope. i'm a newbie and in my mind, i'm afraid i'll never meet or have anyone in my life that will love me for me and not look at me as if i'm a disease. you give me hope.

[missydep]

So your girlfriend is okay with having sex with you and not worried about becoming infected? That's great, but isn't it the exception to the rule? I just found out I have herpes II and now have to break the news to my boyfriend of 6 months and I'm sure he's going to leave me. I am very depressed and don't even know how to tell them, though I will. I've already concluded he won't want to be with me because we both opted to get tested together - he is clean and now I just found out I have herpes 2. Why would he stay with me when his health is at risk? And why would he want to marry me and have kids when there is a risk? He wanted us both to get tested so we could start having unprotected sex since we are in a monogamous relationship. So far we've been using protection, but why would he want to do that the rest of his life with me?

[missydep]

I understand how this can make you feel. But you must realize that 25% of people have this darn thing. I remember the first person I told and was shocked at her reaction. She told me "no big deal...i have it too". You could imagine my relief. Keep your support circles here. I promise it gets better

I feel just like blessedbeauty and I'm a newbie too. I don't even want to tell my friends because of the stigma, even my best friend. I am so depressed.

[greatguy20]

I've made a choice to keep it to myself but I'm not one to divulge much of my sexual activity to friends anyway (so why this). There are lots of guys out there with this too. I've had it for over a year now and the first 6 months were the worst for me. It's even crazier when you appear to have it all together on the outside but no one really knows what you're dealing with. I'm actually hopeful I'll find someone with this too or meet someone who's okay with it. I remember how I viewed this before I was diagnosed so I know it's a perception we have to fight in society. But we still have to stay strong.

[mcLeod]

That's right and welcome to the wonderful world of herpes. So keep it to yourself but come here to leave messages or vent in the chat room...You are safe here. I have been newly diagnosed and all I can say is thank God for this site! No one has to know in your world but here you have a world where you are safe. Like a lot of people have told me...You have a skin condition....That is the long and the short of it. Yes, you will have obs..Yes, you will have to be careful in your romantic life but you are still here, alive and well...Read everything you can here in the forums and in the information sections.....You life is not over and you don't have to disclose...only to the ones you are going to have sexual relations with....Keep your head up high. I have been using l-lysine...helps a lot to keep obs at bay...at least for me. And just so you know I recently was diagnosed...my boyfriend of nine months gifted me with this...he still is my boyfriend but I am not sure where I am with all this. It can mess a lot of things up...But he should of told me so I could of at least made some choices for myself..I lost a lot for him so I don't know where my relationship is going to go...but I can tell you one thing this site has helped me so so much...We are all safe here..Good luck to you.

[mcLeod]

There is a thing called love..If he loves you..I mean really really loves you he will educate himself...It isn't the end of the world..Good luck to you

[Jmiller1986]

I don't know how to tell a future partner that I have hsv 2.

[mcLeod]

You really have no chioce

I don't know how to tell a future partner that I have hsv 2.

Educate yourself and just tell him or her......It is hard but I went to my Doctors and she told me there will probably 2 out of the 5 people in the room that have it.....Trust yourself and trust them...That's all you can do...Good luck to you

[811dier]

hi yeah am happy as well to read that some people do have somebody in their lifes and that it is possible to meet somebody, but i still feel like i would be selfish if i meet someone because the chance that they will get it is big..i feel i should avoid men...I can see it in front of me that i meet a great guy, nothing wrong with him..and he likes me as well..but i am not perfect...there IS something wrong with me..so I am not equal to him as I have herpes...he will probably not call me ever again for a second date..who wants to be with someone who has this disgusting herpes..??

[all around good guy]

Easy fix. Go on a few dates before disclosing and don't rush into sex. But if you do rush into sex, always disclose before you have it. Most of us got it from someone hat didn't disclose and if you don't, in my eyes, your a bad person because you know you have something and are selfish and not protecting the other person. So on e you disclose, and it comes to sex, keep in mind (though it's hard to believe since we all have it) the transmission rate is pretty low as long as your not having sex on an OB. And also, women, men are pretty forgiving about it. Had the woman I got it from told me she had it, I woulda still had sex with her, and we would probably have started dating. But since she didn't disclose, she can burn in hell for her selfish act.

[BrokenBluez]

I am 38 years old and single; I found out about this in 2009 and have shut myself off from the world every since. I have 2 degrees, a good job, but was engaged in 2007 and got this from the person I was supposed to marry. I contracted it in 2007 I am certain of that because things didnt start until I met him but I stayed not knowing because I went to two doctors who told me that it was a boil. WOW!! So in 2009 it was time to take ALL of the tests again at the doctor and BAM my world went spinning. I havent had sex since because I am afraid...I want someone in my life but I am so scared...I dont want to deal with the rejection. I am soooooooooo depressed, feel dirty and worthless. Feeling as though I will be alone for the rest of my life. I only leave my house to go to work and church. Have been praying for God to heal me regardless of what the doctor says....I cannot forgive myself for continuing to deal with him for a month or so after I found out he was cheating...the things we do for LOVE.....I am so down and have been since that day June 25, 2009...