Graphic sex questions..just a warning

[phoenixlove]

Ok I have questions I can not find the answers to anywhere on line I am sorry about the graphic details in advance..

Can I ever receive oral sex saftly without infecting the person?2.when I am doing this shedding thing does that mean anywhere my vagina touches on my partner can give herpes?3.will I still get oral outbreaks on valtrex?4.how do I know my outbreak is over what if its internal and I let someone penetrate me with fingers, can they tranfer it somewhere else? 5.can I ever put my own fluids in my mouth with out getting a cold sore?6.Are Vibrators still safe to use or do I have to bleach It after use?7. I am allergic to latex so what do I do now? 8. can the birth control ring irritate me into an outbreak?9.is it safe for people to have bare hands on my vagina? 10.how safe do I have to be to ensure I dont spread this?11.can you get herpes in your anal area? 12.if my partner has it can I give oral sex if there is not an outbreak or do I use a dental dam everytime?13,do unaffected partners take suppresive meds to help them stay clean?14.has anyone ever saftly had unprotective sex when not having a breakout?15. what are the important steps I must now take when I am sexually with someone?16.how do you hide the pain,sideffects ,burning,itching from people. because it was almost impossible to work like this. 17.who do you tell besides your sex partners that you have this? any advise on being open or not being open?18 will I ever forget I have this and stop obsessing?19. is there a chance of a healthy dating life ahead? what is the backach from and why is it so bad..? what do people take to ease the pain? Sorry I have so many questions..I have more but I will just stay at 19 for now and hope someone out there can at least help with a couple...I feel so confused and i need to moarn the death of my great sex life and become abstinate..but really what do I do about the latex issue? THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP IN ADVANCE

[WarriorKing]

Ok I have questions I can not find the answers to anywhere on line I am sorry about the graphic details in advance..

Can I ever receive oral sex saftly without infecting the person?

if they have the same strain as you there is no issue at all. if they have the other strain then there is some measure of protection for them. if you are on suppressive medications then their risk is low.

2.when I am doing this shedding thing does that mean anywhere my vagina touches on my partner can give herpes?

not automatic. uncut or unchafed skin is a strong barrier

3.will I still get oral outbreaks on valtrex?

maybe yes, maybe no. Often not, as this is what valtrex combats.

4.how do I know my outbreak is over what if its internal and I let someone penetrate me with fingers, can they tranfer it somewhere else?

if you wait "days" or a week after the outbreak, you can be rather sure, but not 100%

5.can I ever put my own fluids in my mouth with out getting a cold sore?

Once you have had this virus for "weeks" your antibodies should be built up enough to prevent self infection elsewhere. But exercise good hygiene anyway

6.Are Vibrators still safe to use or do I have to bleach It after use?

Bleach not necessary. Normal soap and water lightly applied is enough. Even without this even, the virus will die within seconds on an inanimate object.

7. I am allergic to latex so what do I do now?

Long answer won't fit here Read lots of stuff here and get educated. Lots of people get this even with condoms. So using condoms is a bit of a non issue anyway.

8. can the birth control ring irritate me into an outbreak?

Dunno

9.is it safe for people to have bare hands on my vagina?

If they have no cuts or abrasions, then transmission is rare.

10.how safe do I have to be to ensure I dont spread this?

Again long answer. You need to study.

11.can you get herpes in your anal area?

Yes

12.if my partner has it can I give oral sex if there is not an outbreak or do I use a dental dam everytime?

If you have the same strain, as in the answer above, then there is no issue at all. You cannot get it twice. No sex during outbreaks is also a good rule. Lots of other things are exposed to any open skin issues, whether herpes related or not.

13,do unaffected partners take suppresive meds to help them stay clean?

Forget the word clean in this context. You have more bacteria and virus activity, on the inside and outside of your body, than you can imagine. This is all part of this human life exercise. The non herpes carriers don't take medications.

14.has anyone ever saftly had unprotective sex when not having a breakout?

Absolutely. Personally hundreds of times. In humanity, billions of times.

15. what are the important steps I must now take when I am sexually with someone?

Be educated yourself about what this little virus is and is not. And inform them, so they can choose to take the risk with you or not.

16.how do you hide the pain,sideffects ,burning,itching from people. because it was almost impossible to work like this.

The symptoms usually become less, much less. Sometimes within days. In general, the first year can be the toughest, with the symptoms getting much less as time goes on.

17.who do you tell besides your sex partners that you have this? any advise on being open or not being open?

Only potential sex partners need to know. But if you have family or friends that you really trust, you could tell them, just for the support aspect.

18 will I ever forget I have this and stop obsessing?

Yes. Once you learn the truth about this, and have it in proper, truthful perspective.

19. is there a chance of a healthy dating life ahead?

Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.

[Kitty123]

Mr Honest. I think you are absolutely amazing. Not only did you answer this members questions, but you really helped me.

I can't thank you enough. and I didn't even post the original message

[phoenixlove]

Mr.Honest, Thank you so much!

[Sunshine2you]

Oh, thank you Mr. Honest. You especially helped me by saying that people can and DO have normal dating lives...I may need to re-read this thread a few times...

[fattypatty]

yes, thoughtful, positive answers.

[phoenixlove]

I have to tell you I was so freaked out that i swore I would never have sex again! After looking into your reply I researched a ton and thank god I feel as if I am not "dirty" anymore. My partner thanks you because passion is in his future again with me! I do wonder about sex with a same sex partner since its always unprotected, Mr. Honest I my stump you on this one but I wonder how safe it is to be with a woman in the future...? Thanks agaian..I cant find anything on best condoms second to latex antwhere..but I am once again getting to love my body and self again! Love life!

"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace" buddah

[WarriorKing]

Woman to woman or man to man the same concepts apply. Skin to skin contact is how this virus hops, skips, and jumps along with us from generation to generation.

[fitgirl]

Mr. Honest- Thanks for your answers, although I'm still having a VERY hard time believing I will ever have a normal sex life again.

[downtime]

Thank You Mr. Honest ..... These are some of the very questions i was apprehensive to ask. You answers are greatly appreciated. I am starting to feel that there is sex and intimacy in the future. Right now i am just trying to cope with the fact of the big H invading my body...