Jump to content
World's Largest Herpes Support Group
Sign in to follow this  
phoenixlove

Graphic sex questions..just a warning

Recommended Posts

phoenixlove

Ok I have questions I can not find the answers to anywhere on line I am sorry about the graphic details in advance..

Can I ever receive oral sex saftly without infecting the person?2.when I am doing this shedding thing does that mean anywhere my vagina touches on my partner can give herpes?3.will I still get oral outbreaks on valtrex?4.how do I know my outbreak is over what if its internal and I let someone penetrate me with fingers, can they tranfer it somewhere else? 5.can I ever put my own fluids in my mouth with out getting a cold sore?6.Are Vibrators still safe to use or do I have to bleach It after use?7. I am allergic to latex so what do I do now? 8. can the birth control ring irritate me into an outbreak?9.is it safe for people to have bare hands on my vagina? 10.how safe do I have to be to ensure I dont spread this?11.can you get herpes in your anal area? 12.if my partner has it can I give oral sex if there is not an outbreak or do I use a dental dam everytime?13,do unaffected partners take suppresive meds to help them stay clean?14.has anyone ever saftly had unprotective sex when not having a breakout?15. what are the important steps I must now take when I am sexually with someone?16.how do you hide the pain,sideffects ,burning,itching from people. because it was almost impossible to work like this. 17.who do you tell besides your sex partners that you have this? any advise on being open or not being open?18 will I ever forget I have this and stop obsessing?19. is there a chance of a healthy dating life ahead? what is the backach from and why is it so bad..? what do people take to ease the pain? Sorry I have so many questions..I have more but I will just stay at 19 for now and hope someone out there can at least help with a couple...I feel so confused and i need to moarn the death of my great sex life and become abstinate..but really what do I do about the latex issue? THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP IN ADVANCE

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WarriorKing
Ok I have questions I can not find the answers to anywhere on line I am sorry about the graphic details in advance..

Can I ever receive oral sex saftly without infecting the person?

if they have the same strain as you there is no issue at all. if they have the other strain then there is some measure of protection for them. if you are on suppressive medications then their risk is low.

2.when I am doing this shedding thing does that mean anywhere my vagina touches on my partner can give herpes?

not automatic. uncut or unchafed skin is a strong barrier

3.will I still get oral outbreaks on valtrex?

maybe yes, maybe no. Often not, as this is what valtrex combats.

4.how do I know my outbreak is over what if its internal and I let someone penetrate me with fingers, can they tranfer it somewhere else?

if you wait "days" or a week after the outbreak, you can be rather sure, but not 100%

5.can I ever put my own fluids in my mouth with out getting a cold sore?

Once you have had this virus for "weeks" your antibodies should be built up enough to prevent self infection elsewhere. But exercise good hygiene anyway

6.Are Vibrators still safe to use or do I have to bleach It after use?

Bleach not necessary. Normal soap and water lightly applied is enough. Even without this even, the virus will die within seconds on an inanimate object.

7. I am allergic to latex so what do I do now?

Long answer won't fit here :) Read lots of stuff here and get educated. Lots of people get this even with condoms. So using condoms is a bit of a non issue anyway.

8. can the birth control ring irritate me into an outbreak?

Dunno

9.is it safe for people to have bare hands on my vagina?

If they have no cuts or abrasions, then transmission is rare.

10.how safe do I have to be to ensure I dont spread this?

Again long answer. You need to study.

11.can you get herpes in your anal area?

Yes

12.if my partner has it can I give oral sex if there is not an outbreak or do I use a dental dam everytime?

If you have the same strain, as in the answer above, then there is no issue at all. You cannot get it twice. No sex during outbreaks is also a good rule. Lots of other things are exposed to any open skin issues, whether herpes related or not.

13,do unaffected partners take suppresive meds to help them stay clean?

Forget the word clean in this context. You have more bacteria and virus activity, on the inside and outside of your body, than you can imagine. This is all part of this human life exercise. The non herpes carriers don't take medications.

14.has anyone ever saftly had unprotective sex when not having a breakout?

Absolutely. Personally hundreds of times. In humanity, billions of times.

15. what are the important steps I must now take when I am sexually with someone?

Be educated yourself about what this little virus is and is not. And inform them, so they can choose to take the risk with you or not.

16.how do you hide the pain,sideffects ,burning,itching from people. because it was almost impossible to work like this.

The symptoms usually become less, much less. Sometimes within days. In general, the first year can be the toughest, with the symptoms getting much less as time goes on.

17.who do you tell besides your sex partners that you have this? any advise on being open or not being open?

Only potential sex partners need to know. But if you have family or friends that you really trust, you could tell them, just for the support aspect.

18 will I ever forget I have this and stop obsessing?

Yes. Once you learn the truth about this, and have it in proper, truthful perspective.

19. is there a chance of a healthy dating life ahead?

Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kitty123

Mr Honest. I think you are absolutely amazing. Not only did you answer this members questions, but you really helped me.

I can't thank you enough. and I didn't even post the original message :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sunshine2you

Oh, thank you Mr. Honest. You especially helped me by saying that people can and DO have normal dating lives...I may need to re-read this thread a few times...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
phoenixlove

I have to tell you I was so freaked out that i swore I would never have sex again! After looking into your reply I researched a ton and thank god I feel as if I am not "dirty" anymore. My partner thanks you because passion is in his future again with me! I do wonder about sex with a same sex partner since its always unprotected, Mr. Honest I my stump you on this one but I wonder how safe it is to be with a woman in the future...? Thanks agaian..I cant find anything on best condoms second to latex antwhere..but I am once again getting to love my body and self again! Love life!

"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace" buddah

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WarriorKing

Woman to woman or man to man the same concepts apply. Skin to skin contact is how this virus hops, skips, and jumps along with us from generation to generation.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
fitgirl

Mr. Honest- Thanks for your answers, although I'm still having a VERY hard time believing I will ever have a normal sex life again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
downtime

Thank You Mr. Honest ..... These are some of the very questions i was apprehensive to ask. You answers are greatly appreciated. I am starting to feel that there is sex and intimacy in the future. Right now i am just trying to cope with the fact of the big H invading my body...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      69,571
    • Total Posts
      468,649
  • Posts

    • WilsoInAus
      That's exactly right, you can return to your life and get the blood test as a sleep easy in 12 weeks time (from the last episode).
    • Laurenhelena
      Him and his ex have regular breakouts with all the traditional symptoms and I believe he was swabbed.  So I can return to life as it was before all of this drama ? I may still look into a blood test is I am confident it is accurate 
    • WilsoInAus
      @Laurenhelena how is this guy sure he has herpes? All sounding a bit odd to me. Yes it is very unlikely you will develop lesions now. Rubbing skin to skin is required for any feasible transmission chance. The odds of transmission with unprotected vaginal sex are of the order of 0.08% per epsiode. Halve this if a condom is worn. Compare that to chamydia that has about a 33% chance of transmission with unprotected sex; now that's contagious!
    • Laurenhelena
      I just feel that it’s known as such a contagious STD - I’ve been lying to my family cause when I tried to talk about it they became very anxious and begged me to tell them I hadn’t slept with him when I had - If someone told me that they slept with someone with genital herpes my mind would instantly think they had it.  So it’s unlikely then that I’m going to get symptoms now? I’m not going anything further with that guy but we have cuddled and kissed in bed with underwear on, is that ok?  Im quite sure he has hsv2 given that his ex gave it to him through a threesome  I’ve never had a cold sore   
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @Laurenhelena i think by your own admission you are letting fear get the better of you. Any flu symptoms (immune toxic shock) happen after the lesions, not before. Remember that most instances of sexual activity do not result in transmission of herpes. In the end it takes one exposure... but how many times has the person received oral sex from someone with HSV-1? or had sex with someone with HSV-2 even if they didn't know it was present? The UK has amongst the lowest incidence of genital HSV-2 in the world! There's a very good chance he has HSV-1. This means much lower transmission chances than you might think and even a chance it is near zero if you have an oral HSV-1 infection yourself!
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.