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Very delicate situation.


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So I finally uncover the truth... the guy I was dating for a month was actually cheating on his girlfriend with me. He totally blames me for giving H to him and ruining his life... I get a text message saying I owe him for his meds. ( though he has yet to be diagnosed by a doctor ) and not to text/call him 'cause he's in the mountains for a few days.

I contacted the supposed ex over facebook asking her to contact me about this guy. She calls minutes later and I start giving her a timeline of my relationship with this guy and she gets hysterical... not yelling at me but really, really upset. She asks if we slept together and I tell her multiple times because we were a couple. She hangs up on me. I call back and she asks if I wanted to speak with him... She tells me he is sitting on her couch.

He gets on the phone and the first thing he says is that we have got a problem. I agree. Then he says he's coming over, well that's fine because I won't be home when he arrives. He hangs up on me.

I call a final time and it goes to voice mail. My message is very polite... " I am so sorry... he's lying to both of us at this point and I would really appreciate if you would talk to me again. There are some things that I would like closure on, please call me when you feel like you are ready".

I feel really sorry for her. All three of us have mutual friends and my sister has even stepped up on my behalf and contacted her best friend and asked she convince her to talk to me.

I am prepared to tell her I have sores. I am prepared to tell her when I got sick and how he's treated me during this whole trial. If she asks me if he has it, what am I liable for?

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I read your earlier posts. It sounds like you had no idea that either you carried the virus or that if this guy had it and passed it to you that he also had another girlfriend. I cannot imagine that you would be liable for anything.

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I'm afraid I'll never know how I got it, I'm okay with this.

He's been seeing both of us and most likely a few more girls as well. I just wanted her to know I am sick and she needs to get tested. I'm a mother of a seven year old daughter and she has three kids as well. I feel bad that she's being misled. If I was in her shoes I would definitely want to know.

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The only way you would be liable would be if you were his doctor or worked in his doctors office. Then you would be betraying HIPPA regs. If I were you I would ask myself what my motivations for telling her are. If they are as you stated, that you just feel bad for her, then go for it. If its just to get the liar back, make sure you really want to do it..

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Thanks Elmerette, I'm putting myself in her shoes... I would want to know. It wouldn't matter from what walk of life the other woman comes from or what her intentions were for telling me, I would still want to know.

I do understand people do get vindictive, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. I've always been the type to walk away. If you just don't want to be with me let me know. I'd rather have the option of tucking my tail and hiding for a few days than to go through any amount of time in a false relationship.

Getting back at the liar isn't going to magically cure me, or give me back the month I wasted on him. If anything, it might just keep him in my life a lot longer than I wish him to be at this point. Trust me, the only wrong I've ever wished on him was a very painful experience ten fold... and maybe his piece rotting off in his hands.

edit: I also found out that he has been messing with a third female for about a week before this first OB started. I'm convinced there is a fourth but at this point I don't care. He is heartless and only cares for himself. At least with this woman I have seen her face and know her full name so she is not just some nameless statistic to me but a blood and flesh person. Maybe I'm too much of a bleeding heart to just sit on my hands while others could potentially suffer?

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I read your other thread.

If this man started being sick before you, but just with symptoms of another viral illness/infection, and you then got sick, then it is possible that HE gave this to YOU. If he was ill, then his immune system would have been impaired, allowing the virus to surface and hence infect you.

However, you CAN find out for sure. Get a herpes blood test, NOW. If you test negative at this point, then you have contracted the virus very recently and he probably infected you. If your blood test is positive, then you have had herpes for more than 3-6 months and may well have infected him.

I think you did the right thing by telling the other woman. What she chooses to believe is her problem and not yours.

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hirassment for one. you evendently were not a couple as he already had a gf and he was going out on her. they were a couple. I do not understand your reason for the multiple calls you been giving this girl. She a iniccent party in this. Why make a call giving her details about HER man with you.? I think it was sufficient that you not called at all.

he called you and tryed to blame you falsely so you can assume he told his gf he has herpies. even if he did not i would assume she knows now. 1 call if that was needed and to confront this poor girl because you feel sorry for her was uncalled for.

leave her alone. enough of the ph calls. they can get a restraining order for herassment at least and i would not give him a dime he gave it to you. it almost impossibel to prove who gave what to who and he was only trying to scare you into paying for meds. which was wrong but this constant calling the gf who he is and was with amounts to cruelty.

leave her alone. and you owe the gf a appology for herrassing calls you been doing.

the other thing you might have to worry about is them pressing stulking charges on you. They kind of made it clear they dont want to talk to you at least the gf. and by sending your sister to talk to her and your constant calling could be looked on as stalking by the courts

dont sweat it, this guy a jerk dont answer his texts dont call him or talk to the gf. she knows about you now and she has not left him .

thats her promblem and stupidity. Yopur better then him and better of wiothout him. i mean the guy a jerk. look at what he did to you and what he did to his gf.

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I called only three times. One to tell her I had been seeing him. She asked if we slept together and I said yes. She hung up on me. The second time she let me talk to him. The third time I left a message saying if/when she wants to talk to me I will be waiting for her call.

I stopped after that... three calls within the same hour. I never got to tell her I have sores. That's all I wanted to tell her. I didn't want to send it in a text or over a voice mail. I don't want to harass her anymore than I have and it was not my intention...

I hope it didn't come off as me constantly calling her.

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I feel really bad that your in this situation.

Your trying to do the right thing by this woman and even essentially by that scum bag.

You are not liable and you never will be.

The best thing in my opinion is for you to focus on you, and get treatment.

Worrying about who gave it too whom is such a drainer..

I know.. I've been there.

You did do the right thing by trying to make contact but now you know that you'll only be met with resistance from an angry womane.

All the best

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Well, I was told by a few people that once my case was confirmed that letters or some notification of my infection was going to go out to the people I had relations with. I figured that even if this is true, she would have never gotten the news anyway because we are indirectly linked.

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Don't feel bad radiolove. As a woman you were trying to warn her. I get it. You wanted to know how you got it, if she had it, or save her from getting it. I understand girl. That's not harassment, i might have done the same thing. Or worse. lol

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  • 2 weeks later...

It doesn't sound to me like you would be liable for anything. He might have given this to you! And given his "love" life, I don't think any attorney would take the case. But...I am not an attorney so, if you are worried, you could consult one to see where you stand. I don't think you've done anything wrong. Don't let him scare you or bully you.

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Oh, oh no. I am done dealing with this sorry waste of flesh. She hasn't tried to call me... which worries me because it seems like she has chosen to keep this pathetic parasite around. I don't understand why people stick with leeches that end up doing more damage to them. Like a tick that's attached itself to you... just pull it out already!!

Well, I was curious as to what you guys out there thought. It's more of a moral question than a law suit anyway. I don't plan on filing suit against him.

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      Thanks for your response! I received unprotected oral 10 weeks ago and immediately after had stinging in my glans and weird nerve pain. I am positive for HSV1 due to cold sores I got as a child, but as recent as 9 weeks after this exposure have tested negative for HSV2.    im nervous that I may have acquired hsv1 again on my genitals since HSV2 is rarely acquired from oral sex and doesn’t shed hardly at all, but haven’t seen any sores yet. Just weird symptoms and this started recently in my buttcrack when I was taking antibiotics.   Any advice or perspective would be greatly appreciated. @WilsoInAus
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