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confused and worried thanks to advise nurse!


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hi all,

apologies for war and peace but id rather give the whole story than not enough.

i'm after advise thanks to a nurse who's scared the crap out of me 2 months ago!-the day after the below symptoms came up i went to an NHS walk in centre (im in the uk) as i thought id burnt my mouth on a spicy curry as below but within 30 seconds of seeing me and a very quick check the nurse said i had herpes symplex, but then promptly went straight to a web site about it to check my symptoms then to ask a doc about whats the best treatment, he gave me a list of other symptoms (blisters covering my lips, itching, spots poss around my mouth) that i should expect in the next couple of weeks which never appeared and also gave me a link to a website after telling me H is strongly linked to HEP B and AIDS.

I've seen my normal doctor 3 times since who has always maintained he doesnt think its H as the syptoms came on too quick and wouldnt last this long but agrees the syptoms are similar and said he thinks its some other virus or bacterial infection that will clear with time. i also went to my GUM clinic where they didnt do blood tests for H but tested for all other main STD's and gave me a check up and confirmed they cannot see any sign of anything wrong at all.

the main prob is i cannot get it out of my head what the first nurse said and keep wondering what if it is??? and keep checking myself every day expecting to find an outbreak!!!! although im more chilled now than i was at first!

2 months ago i was out with some friends and went for a curry and beer- which turned out to be so strong i couldnt swallow it! later that night i also slept with someone i was seeing for the first time (ive since found out she has a bit of a rep and has slept a round quite a lot) and we've since split up. we had protected sex but i gave her unprotected oral sex


within 4-5 hours of sleeping with her the tip of my tongue was almost burning, within 12 hours my lips were tingling bad but not burning -i'm talking about all around my lips not just one part and within 24hrs i'd developed a slight rash on the side of my neck, fordyce spots on my lips and my throat and tongue had swelled up. 6 weeks later and i also woke up to find my tongue was black and it stayed this way for a couple of days

4 weeks after that night i also started getting a dull ache at the end of my penis and for about 2 days i needed to go to the toilet every 15 min! it didnt hurt when i did and there was always something that came out. I cant say i've noticed any real discharge when at the loo, but also seem to have a regular layer of white stuff around my tip (apologies i dont know the name!) and kind of a very thin clear oily type layer floatig on top(very little of this, and not sure if its just whats been used to clean the bowl)

my throat swelling went down after 6-7 weeks but is still not 100% and hurts a bitwith a bit of a pain on my tongue and a slight tingle regularly on my lips where i have the fordyce spots- doc has said this is just the sense returning to the nerves. this last week ive had a cold and the skin around my mouth has been slightly red, dry and tingly now and then, and i still have a bit of an itch from time to time on my neck where the rash was.

I've had no spots, blisters or anything along these lines near my throat, mouth, lips or gentials.

if it wasnt for that first nurse id be fine but as i put earlier i cant get it out of my head! if i go for a blood test that comes back positive then i'll be worried sick that its a new infection and be on edge waiting for an outbreak even though i may have had it years anyway.

any thoughts and help appreciated as i'm as confused as hell and have a frazzled brain through stress about this.

thanks in advance!


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You need to see a doctor again for all these other symptoms.

But the first nurse saying herpes is strongly linked to HEP B and AIDS is complete nonsense. If somebody punches you in the mouth and you have an open wound you are more likely to get any kind of infection, or if you get sexual you are more likely to get bad stuff, because of an open wound. Herpes is just another kind of open wound.

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the last time i saw the doc has a little over a week ago. he's fully aware of all symptoms i've ever had and in his words ' its nothing malicious and will clear up in time'

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    • sgt98
      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @NerdP423 and welcome to the website. You raise a lot of points and I think the best way to address your concerns is add some comments at each key point. I've copied your note again below and added these comments in square brackets. I appreciate any insight (even speculation) as to what has been going on with me. I'm a 37y/o M. I last was intimate with a new partner on 2/11/2022, and a few days later started having a huge amount of discomfort in my face. [The first thing that happens though is that herpes causes lesions or at least some skin based disruption. Other symptoms are then related to the actions of the immune system responding to the virus. Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. [If this was a PCR then this will be very conclusive.] Practitioner said it may come back negative because it was already open. However the lab report noted that it definitely didn't look like what you'd expect a typical first herpes outbreak to look like [how would the lab know??]. All blood tests negative so far. I had two western blots, the second one was nine months after exposure. [Two negative Westernblots!!! Many that's real convincing]. All other swabs also negative. I went to urgent care, because I know the timeliness of when the Swab is taken matters. One time, a swab was not done, because practitioner said it was folliculitis and wouldn't swab it (It was at my belt line). [Belt line is highly unlikely to relate to herpes.]   A blood test revealed I had low-ish B12 (technically in range, but at the very low end, especially for a man of my size). I had a series of B12 injections, and I am taking a B12 supplement. I am not taking any lysine or arginine at the moment. I was taking the Arganine to see if I could induce an outbreak. [This is irrelevant, there is no known linkage between herpes outbreaks and arginine/lysine intake - its a myth - and B12 infers nothing.] I think what I am asking is - has anyone here ever repeatedly tested negative over and over again over long period of time, before getting a definitive answer, be a positive test, or something else? [The answer to this is: Extremely few people with a HSV-1 infection and even more rarely HSV-2 test repeatedly negative on Westernblot and actually carry the virus. Of the cases that I know of that had delayed detection by a swab and negative blood tests in the meantime (and that's only 3-4 cases), they had some form of lesions within days of infection but did not obtain a swab for various reasons and then obtained a positive swab of a subsequent lesion with the record being 11 months later. A couple of the cases did have some 'background' symptoms they thought might be related to herpes but that isn't ascertained and some did not have any unusual symptoms at all apart from the lesions. Hence as you did not have lesions around your mouth or lips within days of the last sexual encounter as is exceptionally common for a primary oral HSV-1 infection, that pretty much rules out herpes orally as it is. The fact that you had no genital symptoms for a month also rules out genital herpes. I am not aware of anyone at all who has genuinely gone on to test positive by swab or blood in your specific circumstances. There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
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