New... looking for people to talk with who understand

[dumdumdancer]

I was just diagnosed with genital herpes two months ago. When I was diagnosed I was in a happy relationship with someone who I loved and loved me. We had unprotected sex, and a few weeks after I got a really bad outbreak, I thought it was just a bladder infection so I tried to just wait it out. The symptoms didn't go away so I went to get tested, however the doctor took one look at me and told me I had genital herpes and gave me the pills. A week later the tests came back and confirmed. My boyfriend was supportive and understanding, however he would not get tested because he didn't want to know. We just broke up tonight because he is moving away. When he was breaking up with me all I could think about was I'm now alone with Herpes. Who and how can I ever be loved again? I feel like I have no one to talk too anymore, because he was the only person I told. I don't know what to do... please help!

[Hurting67]

Dancer,

You have come to the right place. I found this website 2 days ago and it is great!! The people I have meet are wonderful and they understand. We all have or had the same feelings you have now at one time or the other. They say it gets better. I was diagnosed 1 year and 4 months ago and my bf will not get tested. I honestly do not understand men..I sometimes think they don't get tested so they don't have to know and then they will not have to tell anyone and feel guilty. Me I could not even think about sleeping with someone and not telling them and I think some men could care less..saying well I'm not having a OB. If you read on here you will find out that men do not have OB's as often and sometimes not at all like we do. But yet they still carry the virus. BE strong!!!

[norcallove]

Hi dancer. Welcome to this site! I'm from California as well. There is a lot of great information to the right and tons of supportive people who understand what you are going through. I was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago. I went to the doctor for what I thought was a cut from my clothing rubbing against me. She took one look at me as well and said herpes. I have GHSV2. I joined this site a few hours later. It has helped me so much. I believe it does get better. 6 weeks later and it has already gotten better for me. It will get better for you as well in time. Read the info on the right, read through the threads, ask as many questions as you want, and go to the chat room. All of those things helped me.

I wish your BF had gotten tested. He should know whether he has it or not so he doesn't spread it if he does. I understand not wanting to know, but I could never live like that. Hopefully he gets tested one day. Sorry to hear about your break up. You will be able to love again. There are a lot of people on here who have found love. My BF does not have H (I found out I did 4 months into out relationship). You'll see there are people on here who have chosen to date people with H even though they don't have it. Its really just a fairly common and mostly harmless skin condition. You will meet someone that will understand that and thinks the (very small) risk is worth it. Take care hun.

[dumdumdancer]

Yeah I know that he will get tested before he has sex again, it just hurts that he didn't want to get tested to have sex with me. I agree though I don't understand how you couldn't get tested I would be an anxious mess if I didn't know. But I guess everyone is different.

Thanks for the support, the last 2 months I haven't been able to talk to anyone who actually understand how it feels to have this virus. It feels great to be myself and not be judged thank you so much, this is a true gift.

[challenged]

Hi Dancer- my story was the opposite as my ex gf still refuses to get tested to this day. I was also diagnosed recently with HSV2. She said she got 2 cold sores about 2 years ago but that was it. Maybe my ex gf and your ex bf will cross path's and they can live happily ever after together. Ha.

[dumdumdancer]

haha yeah sounds like a great pair! Did it make you feel disrespected that she wouldn't take the test?

[challenged]

Absolutely! We even got to the point where she said she didnt want to ever talk about the "H". That I should stop educating myself on the subject as every source was contradicting etc. As they say on the site, H definitely weeds the ones out that are not worth it in the end, thats one positive.

[idcanymore]

i know how you feel. i fell in love with a guy, he gave me herpes, then left me. I am 18 years old and not even out of high school yet, i feel like my entire life has been destroyed. i feel like i will be alone forever.

[dumdumdancer]

Yeah my ex thought it would be better not to talk about it either. Gosh that sounds like a really negative relationship if she didn't even want you to educate yourself... I'm glad that you are out of it

Oh geez that's absolutely terrible!! I'm so sorry, I'm your age too... I don't know who gave it to me but ugh knowing who it was and that they left you has to be realllly hard. I'm so sorry, but most people on here who have had this virus for a while have been in healthy relationships. I'm with you though that sounds like a fare away fairy tail, but hey believing that and trying to open yourself up to someone new is better than accepting the fact that you'll always be alone when you might not be! Good luck, sounds like we are going through similar things my heart goes out to you!