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Hi there,

Just joined this site - i live in Ireland and unfortunately there is no support groups for STD in this country. According to my doctor there are many of us in this country with herpes, but no support groups.

I keep bursting into tears and I am finding it very hard to deal with this diagnosis. I was diagnosed a few months ago. I was in a relationship with a guy for the last 2 years and we had a short break up a few months ago, during that break-up he met someone else, and had a brief sexual relationship with her. We however then got back together a few weeks later, I had asked him if he had slept with this lady he had met and he said no and i believed him, so did not think anything of it. We had been tested when we started our relationship, and both us had clear tests. A week after we got back together i started experiencing the pain and eventually the blisters appeared. My bf never developed any of the symptons, (as he has a strong immune system, he never gets sick) I was so angry, and so upset that he lied to me.I trusted him and he lied to me, but i eventually forgave him, in my mind, but I think my heart has found it more difficult. I have always been so careful in all my relationships. My first herpes flare up lasted almost 8 weeks and then got herpes again 2 weeks after that and that lasted for another 6 weeks. Finally when we could have sex again - i found myself completely off sex - where i was once passionate, and had a healthy sex life now i felt completely dead. My bf was very upset that he gave it to me and has over the months been very supportive and patient and loving but eventually the relationship ended last week cause i did not want him to waste any more of his life with me cause the way i felt, this virus has traumatised me and i just cant seem to get past it, i just feel useless to him as a gf. Herpes has affected me in ways I just cant explain, and i have no idea how long i will feel like this. I was also diagnosed with Fibromylagia 5 years ago and dealing with that unbelievable pain on a daily basis and now having to deal with herpes, this is all just become all too much. Even though i have been clear some weeks, i am still experiencing burning when i go to the toilet, so it is a constant reminder. Does Herpes cause nerve damage in the area where i was infected? Why had i experienced discomfort when i had sex? Will i ever feel

normal again? Will i ever enjoy sex again? Who is going to want to be with me now? Also in this country all you get for herpes in an anti-viral tablet - no creams no nothing. For thrush you have so much in the market, but for this - a tablet! I was told Aloe Vera cream is good to put on the blisters and to bath in Dettol/Savlon or salt baths. I cant seem to find Epson Salts anywhere -all i find is Bicarbonate of soda, is it similar to Epson Salts?

Would appreciate any feedback.

Thanku so much

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It will get better and you will feel normal again trust me. I have heard your story a hundred times and am glad to read later on when they start to heal and start to live normal lives.

I have had this a long time and it has never stopped me from having sex at all. I have had some kick ass sex since getting this. The longer you have it the less the virus is a bother to you.

I don't know if the soda is anything close to Epsom salt. You could also use table salt, just use more of it.

Come to the Chat Room, there you will find many nice Herpsters who can offer you their support.

Good luck!


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Hi Daisy - I was diagnosed w/ GHSV2 about 6 weeks ago and it had already started to get a lot better :) It will get better for you as well. This site has helped me a lot. There is a lot of great information to the right and supportive members who understand what you're going through. I don't know about the salts or creams though, sorry I can't help you there. Take care hun!

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DM... yes it does get better. I'm sorry to hear your first OB's were so long. Since I don't take any actual meds and only vitamins I just try to keep my area nice, dry and clean all the time, use baby wipes instead of toilet paper when I go to the bathroom, and when I get any sores on a dry spot I put some dynamiclear on them (you can check it out on the site).

My OB's are nothing now, after 6 months of this, their constant but I've learned no to give them much thought and they'll go away. I now sex seems like an impossibility at the moment but is not, you'll get there and you'll love it.

Good luck.

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Hi Daisy

I have had herpes 9 years now...it really does get better. In fact it took a while but I honestly believe I have had better sex since I have had herpes. Mostly because I have learnt to respect myself more and not do it for the wrong reasons and it has also taught me to be more selective about the men I choose to sleep with. The first year was the hardest, but it now it is no more difficult to deal with than a period...and a lot less frequent.

The pills really are better to take than any topical treatment though. The anti-viral meds if you take them as a suppressive can work very well. I had 4 outbreaks in the first year, the first lasted 3 months and then fell pregnant and had constant outbreaks every 2 weeks. I then went on suppressive meds and have less than one outbreak a year (for the past 7.5 years). The pills are better...because once the herpes virus has activated and travelled down your nerves to the skin it is already too late you really are just treating the discomfit rather than the virus . If you take the pills they can stop it travelling to the skin and that is better--a lot less painful too. I also find the meds stop me obsessing that I am having an outbreak every second day...paranoia is my worst side affect of herpes :-)

Lots of people on here talk about various topical solutions you can use, from purell hand sanitizer, to betadine and even over the counter cold sore treatments. It all depends on where you get your sores. Mine are all external, but I'd be careful what I put on the more tender spots.

Have a look through some of the treatment posts and links on the right side of the page.

L-lysine is also a good thing to take it is an ammino acid that counteracts the amino acid that herpes requires to reproduce. Also things like vitamin c and zinc all help to give your immune system a little helping hand. Different combinations work for different people, over time you will figure out what works for you.

Actually just regular sea salt in the bath is good...I've found swimming in the ocean has helped...when its not too cold!

Ice packs are definitely your friend. And herpes has turned me into a saucy minx...well, in that I wear stockings and suspenders and no underpants when I have an OB...just to help it dry out!

It really, really does get better. You will learn to live with it and understand your symptoms and triggers. There are lots and lots of people that have this in one form or another, don't despair.

It is a natural process coming to terms with a loss (and I consider coming to terms with herpes in that way)...you lose your sense of self and your sexual confidence. But with any type of mourning you go through the steps and you heal. The five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance...you are aiming for the acceptance...and it will happen, promise.

Keep strong...and try and find at least one thing every day that makes you smile or feel good...and let yourself enjoy that moment for as long as possible.

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Hi VTiny

Im on suppressive therapy too. Im new to this site and have been reading many post on L-lysine. Not sure exactly what this is, but do you think this is something that can be used in combination with valtrax? I've had so many ob's that the doctor put me on a pill a day and now i still get it just not bad and not often. However often enough to be a reminder that I still have it. But I will say the medicine definitely helps! I went almost 10 yrs without an ob. For the past 3 yrs its back and its frequent. I don't know why all the sudden the ob's are occurring! My diet is great and i exercise. Best shape of my life I just don't get it!

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HI FiorellaKW and VTiny,

thanku so very much both of you for your kind words and encouragement! Can you please tell me what is the name of the suppressive meds u can take, i have asked my doc and it looks like you can't get any here in Ireland ;o(, But if i knew the name I could ask him. Also is it normal to feel constant burning whenever i go to the toilet? Since my first flare up - it has never gone away!

Kind Regards


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please forgive your bf. You two had broken up even though it was brief, you both were free to see other people. Ok he met a girl and had sex with her. You were not together when he did so he was not going out on you. then when you got back together and you asked him if he had sex with her he lied because he was afraid to tell you.

he obvously loves you and not this other girl, and sense he was not having symptoms which often happens he did not know he had it.

yuou would be the same gf he had before the herpies herpies cant change who you are. your the same person you were before this happened. do not sell yourself short. please go to just dignosed and search for post titled newly diagnosed must read.

there is link to video there that i think will help you understand about your condition. really you might have to search for it . infact i find it and give you the linlk\i sorry there not support groups there in ireland( my ansester came from ireolpand) but you found one here

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thanku Misshoneybee for the link and thanku Withbaggage for ure email and your kind words! I will try my hardest to forgive me ex bf, i know that we had broken up and he had a right to be with anyone he wanted and i am not angry with him about that, i am hurt that he lied to me and put our health in jeopardy, if he had told me i would have asked him to use a condom, but anyway to late for that, i just have to put it behind me! My ex is still trying to get back together with me but i just dont feel the same inside and i have to deal with these issues and i know in time i will feel better about myself and able to forgive and move on with this. I just feel dead inside! but thanks to all ure emails and support on this website I am starting to feel better about myself and starting on the road of acceptance. I know i will get there!

Thanku again to u all!



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