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hello, this may be a long story but i really need some feedback and i'm in need of some answer/comments with an explanation of those answers/comments. please do read this as i am very worried. also, i'm going to see a doctor this week, and would appreciate it if no one said "go see a doctor."

i started seeing this girl whose ex was diagnosed with genital herpes. (he cheated on her). she then got tested and the results came back negative. she was tested again and they came back positive. both were tested at clinics. she has blood cancer as well. she is seeing a specialist for her blood cancer and he asked her if she'd ever been tested for std's and she told him yes and that she tested negative the first time and positive the second time. the specialist then told her that since it was done at a clinic and since they didn't have her previous blood work or medical history that they could have read it wrong due to the blood cancer. also, she has never had any symptoms at all. she got tested again, this time by the specialist treating her cancer, and the test showed she was negative.

i have been experiencing some things that have me concerned but not overly worried. we have had sex and always used a condom, no genital to genital touching ever. she is also my first, so i know i didn't have it before. my symptoms started 10 tens after we had sex the last time. but they have lasted nearly 8 weeks. very unlike herpes. but those symptoms are: i noticed small little bumps near my urethra that hurt a little bit. they were under the skin, and a little darker skin colored. they have remained since i noticed them (8 weeks) but do not hurt anymore and were not blister like or liquid filled and have never become a sore. i also noticed a blemish on the glans above the corona. it hurt for a while and i could stretch it out and it was not liquid filled. it stopped hurting but still remains and it is also skin colored. a few days ago i noticed a tiny red spot(s) in my urethra tip right at he opening. i have to open the hole. i don't know if it's one or more because it/they are so small. i can barely see it/them with a magnifying glass. that's why i'm not sure if it's one or more. it doesn't hurt hardly at all, it's just in an awkward place. it does not hurt when i urinate, masturbate, ejaculate, or (i know this may sound stupid but i've read in several places that it hurts extremely bad) when i put hydrogen peroxide or rubbing alcohol on the "spot"-also very unlike herpes. there is no discharge from anywhere, and no leakage or problem urinating or getting an erection. the "spot" has only been there for, at the most 3 days, i think less, and it has not gotten bigger or more painful. if anything it is less painful. and there really isn't that much pain at all. i have read some articles online by doctors who have seen patients with herpes in the urethra, and those patients claim that it is probably the most painful experiences of their lives.

also i have some redness in the groin area (where the leg and crotch meet). i've had this before, before i was sexually active and have found pictures and believe it to be a bacteria infection. there are no blisters or open sores in this area either.

my main questions are:

1. with the last test by the specialist, who knows her medical history and blood work, being negative for herpes: should i be concerned? does she have herpes?

2. my symptoms, in my opinion and research (which includes spending about 8 weeks looking things up and going through hundreds and hundreds of pictures {by no means am i an expert}) am i over analyzing things?

3. my symptoms don't seem to be herpes, but do bacterial/fungal/yeast infection cause that tiny "spot" in the urethra?

4. is this just a fungal/bacteria/yeast infection?

5. any other suggestions on what this could be and why/how.

thank you so much for reading this (if you made it all the way through). i'm sorry it was so wordy but i need to have some sort of expectations before i go to the doctor's this week. thank you in advance for answering.

please any feed back would be very appreciated.

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1. I'd be inclined to be optimistic on that one, she has had two negative tests, and her specialist is saying that the blood cancer can affect the blood test results. I'd really hope he knew what he was talking about! Some tests are also more reliable than others if she had the Western Blot test that is the best one, so if I were you I'd try and find out which test the specialist did.

2-5. I know you are anxious and this is a very stressful time for you, that you are looking for answers any where you can find them, but even Drs often get a herpes diagnosis wrong because it can present in so many different ways. Then there are all the other things that it could be, other than herpes. Your Dr will be able to look at your actual symptoms, will have probably seen at least a few cases of herpes and will also have access to proper medical tests. Consider that most of the people on here have nothing beyond their own experience and things they have read or heard from Drs, the advice you get in the short term is never going to substitute for the knowledge of an experienced medical professional--or better yet a proper diagnostic test.

I am a prime culprit of doing what you are doing, working myself into a complete state of panic. Just take a breath, be patient the answers will come...its just a few more days until you see the Dr. Remind yourself that it seems unlikely that your gf has herpes...you don't feel your symptoms are conclusively herpes symptoms...so be prepared for the worst but hope for the best.

Good luck, I wish you are your girlfriend all the best...this must be a very hard time for you both.

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thanks vtiny for the advice. i talked to her on the phone to find out more information about the tests she had done. she said the one at the clinic she had done didn't really mention whatt type of blood test they were doing. she also had to argue with the clinic doctor for about half an hour before the doctor final did the test. and the entire time the doctor was mad about doing it. i listed the tests that i read were available (i.e. igm, igg, western blot, herpeselect. etc). she said the one that sounded the most familiar was the igm test. and i've read that those aren't the most reliable compared to the other ones. she also said that she didn't remember what test the specialist did, she was just so relieved to hear that she didn't have it after all. she sees the specialist quite often, so i asked her to ask him which one he administered. i will find out in the next few days. i would hope that 1) the specialist would use a better test and 2) since he is a specialist and working on blood cancer, he would know exactly what to look for.

also, and this is very strange. i decided to masturbate again because i read more stories about urethral herpes and read that masturbation is unbearable during an outbreak. one person said ejaculating with an outbreak felt like razorblades were cutting through his urethra. when i did, however, it felt a lot better. the "sore" was numb the entire time i was masturbating, and after the pain was actually less than it had been before. since then the pain and redness have slowly, but steadily gone down. this is day 3 or 4 and it's almost completely gone. i have researched that some outbreaks only las for 5 days, but not when it is in the urethra/meatus area. those last an upwards of 10 ten days to 4 weeks.<- that time period was with and without medication. i'm feeling more and more confident about my situation, and hopefully the specialist did a more reliable test. on the other hand i don't want to be too confident and have my test come back positive.

again, vtiny, thanks a lot. i really appreciate it. most forums i've been to just say "you're fine, if it doesn't sound like herpes, then it probably isn't"-but offer no advice or explanation or anything at all. keep me posted on any other info you might have. i've done more research, is a thrush or a type of balanitis possible?

really, thanks again.

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    • WilsoInAus
      Hi there @ScubaSteeve and welcome to the website. If you have had genital HSV for 10 years there is a chance the testing did not distinguish type. The answers to the following questions will help a bit: - where are your outbreaks specifically and what frequency? - have you had any IgG antibody testing for HSV?
    • CHT
      Hi LLS.... I'm very sorry you are having so much discomfort from this outbreak.... the first outbreaks are always the most troublesome but  they will get less aggressive as time passes.  I personally find that valacyclovir is much more effective than just acyclovir so you may want to ask your doctor about switching and seeing if that helps.  Ask your doctor on Saturday if you really need to take a higher dose.... and as WilsoInAus suggested, I would ask for a 1,000 mg tablets with at least a 90 day supply to start.  As for pain, you may want to ask your doctor for a Rx of Zovirax ointment.... it contains acyclovir and the ointment form calms the sores down and reduces friction.... it should lessen the pain down there. As for diet, many people, myself included, learn what foods often act as triggers for outbreaks.  I can tell you from experience that the following are big outbreak triggers for me:   1. Too much caffeine (I've basically stopped coffee and have learned to enjoy a variety of decaf teas) 2. Any kind of nuts - including corn and even popcorn 3. Chocolate 4. Too much alcohol - particularly red wines  5. If possible, avoid any kind of steroids/immunosuppressants like prednisone in high doses.... anything that suppresses your immune system will give the virus free rein to run amuck - I learned this the hard way! 6, Stress.... although easier said than done, it will help with your overall health.  Studies show that stress is a common HSV outbreak trigger.... try to find a way to lower your stress levels. 7. lack of sleep.... personally, if I get less than 6  hours of sleep this often leads to an outbreak within a day or two.... work at getting a good 7-8 hours of solid sleep each night (I often use melatonin to help here). Some people find certain vitamins that boost the immune system, like zinc, help with overall healing and can lessen the severity of outbreaks and possibly prevent some outbreaks.  I personally take a number of antiviral/anti-inflammatory/anti-oxidant herbs/vitamins not so much for my HSV2 but for overall health (I don't have the healthiest of diets so, I feel I need to supplement to offset my lousy diet).  A google search of supplements that help with herpes will provide you with a long list of vitamins/herbs that may be of benefit but, try not to get carried away - many/most won't make much, if any, difference.... but, you can always experiment. As WilsoInAus also mentioned, a healthy diet is likely your best option. I should also mention that while some find vitamin C to be helpful, I found it to have the opposite effect.... the more I took the more it seemed to provoke outbreaks.   Things are always the toughest after initial infection.... it's going to get better, trust me.  Stick with the antiviral meds daily, try not to obsess on the fact you've contracted this virus, and try to avoid some of those triggers relating to outbreaks.  With time the number of outbreaks starts to decline and when you do have an outbreak, they will become less virulent. As WilsoInAus mentioned, a lot of your achiness, pain and overall flu-like symptoms are related to the fact your immune system is adjusting to this virus.... these lousy symptoms are just your immune system in action working to do its best to fight this virus... with time these symptoms will also lessen and disappear.   I hope this helps in some way.... please let us know if you have more questions.... and remember, go easy on yourself right now.... turn to those things in your life that calm you and also distract you from obsessing over the virus situation.  You are going to be just fine.... just give yourself some time to get past this initial unpleasant phase.... it will get better, I promise.    
    • Justme88
    • ScubaSteeve
      I was diagnosed with HPV2 ten years ago, which I contracted from an ex-girlfriend who was unaware she had it. Since then, I've lived a reserved life, not really opening up to others. There was only one person I felt interested in enough to share this with, but it didn't work out. There have been a few instances where I've let my guard down, had a night out, and ended up sleeping with someone. I know I should feel guilty about not discussing it beforehand, but I found it challenging because they know my family, and it felt overwhelming at the time, and I had alot of pent up desires from not ever being with someone for a long time.  After finally opening up to someone and realizing it wasn't the end of the world, I now understand that finding the right partner might be a matter of numbers. I desire to have more intimate relationships but need to find better ways to approach this topic and ensure I never spread it.  Thank you all for providing a space where I can be myself.
    • i82much2young
      My swab results won’t be ready for another 5 days. Is there any harm is continuing the Valacyclovir? I was prescribed 1gm tablets for 10 days.
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