Jump to content

38 yr old female in Maryland


leigh21

Recommended Posts

Just diagnosed going through a divorce found out my husband had been cheating on me for most of our marriage I have 2 healthy little girls and I am super nervous to start dating and have to tell someone about my situation don't want to end up alone!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Hi Leigh21,

I can imagine how you feel. I've been there, wait, I still am. When I was diagnosed 18 years ago, I was pissed, emotionally drained, upset, etc. However, I wasn't concerned about my dating life since that was in the era when viral shedding was not an issue. And being I don't get outbreaks, having this really didn't pose any challenge for me. Now that I have to worry about transmitting it to someone or having to disclose my status, it's become an issue. I haven't dated and I'm good with it. However, I've started wondering how this will affect me in the event I stumble across 'the one.' I feel trapped...

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Leigh21,

I was diagnosed 12 years ago. I too just went through a divorce and having herpes at the time wasn't a big deal because my ex and I had been dating for 1 year when I found out. We knew that we were going to stay together, so we never thought about it. When I received my divorce papers last year, it was then that my world came tumbling down, not only was I losing my husband, but now I had to worry about telling someone about my situation. I've been divorced for almost a year and I haven't gone out on ONE date. I have a lot of single friends and their main concern being that most of us are in our late thirties, is getting an STD late in life. Listening to these adults associate herpes with trashy people really upsets me because that is so far from the truth. There are so many uneducated people when it comes to herpes and that's what saddens me most. I got it from the man I loved. I wasn't promiscuous at all, so it is a shame that it has to be associated with that. I'm sooooo ready to start dating, but I'm not ready for the rejection that may come from it. I pray everyday that I'm able to meet the man of my dreams and that I'm worth the risk! I want to believe I am because I do have a lot to offer. This will not kill me I know, but I do feel the affects of it. I wouldn't want anyone else to go through this.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Leigh21,

I feel very much the same way. I'm 35 and it is hard enough being single at this age let alone with an STD. I have not dated but this one guy is pursuing me hard right now. I don't know how to tell him I have herpes. My friends make herpes jokes on facebook and it saddens me too. I don't know how I'll break it to him because I don't know if he'll tell others and just join in the jokes and ridicule. Only my very close best friend and my ex knows. I find myself wanting to die before ever having to tell anyone else. I had a low self-esteem before this and was getting better. Now what?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 years later...
  • 4 months later...

Hi guys, I too am a 37 yr old female that just found out I have this. I found out about 2 weeks after my ex and i broke up. I cant imagine having to tell someone i have HSV, but I wont be one of those that goes into a sexual relationship without telling. That is just not fair. I dont like that it happened to me and i wont do it to someone else either. Im also in Maryland..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

welcome HK. I know I've talked with you in chat though, haha but I agree not telling someone is wrong. It's better to tell them and if they love you for it then they are someone special. if not, then their loss.:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 10 months later...
Hi guys, I too am a 37 yr old female that just found out I have this. I found out about 2 weeks after my ex and i broke up. I cant imagine having to tell someone i have HSV, but I wont be one of those that goes into a sexual relationship without telling. That is just not fair. I dont like that it happened to me and i wont do it to someone else either. Im also in Maryland..

Hi, I just joined this site! I was diagnosed for years ago, I'm sorry that happened to you! I'm from the Maryland area also. Hope all is well these days!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Donate

    If Honeycomb has helped you, please help us by making a donation so we can provide you with even better features and services.

  • The Hive is Thriving!

    • Total Topics
      72.1k
    • Total Posts
      486.3k
  • Posts

    • sgt98
      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @NerdP423 and welcome to the website. You raise a lot of points and I think the best way to address your concerns is add some comments at each key point. I've copied your note again below and added these comments in square brackets. I appreciate any insight (even speculation) as to what has been going on with me. I'm a 37y/o M. I last was intimate with a new partner on 2/11/2022, and a few days later started having a huge amount of discomfort in my face. [The first thing that happens though is that herpes causes lesions or at least some skin based disruption. Other symptoms are then related to the actions of the immune system responding to the virus. Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. [If this was a PCR then this will be very conclusive.] Practitioner said it may come back negative because it was already open. However the lab report noted that it definitely didn't look like what you'd expect a typical first herpes outbreak to look like [how would the lab know??]. All blood tests negative so far. I had two western blots, the second one was nine months after exposure. [Two negative Westernblots!!! Many that's real convincing]. All other swabs also negative. I went to urgent care, because I know the timeliness of when the Swab is taken matters. One time, a swab was not done, because practitioner said it was folliculitis and wouldn't swab it (It was at my belt line). [Belt line is highly unlikely to relate to herpes.]   A blood test revealed I had low-ish B12 (technically in range, but at the very low end, especially for a man of my size). I had a series of B12 injections, and I am taking a B12 supplement. I am not taking any lysine or arginine at the moment. I was taking the Arganine to see if I could induce an outbreak. [This is irrelevant, there is no known linkage between herpes outbreaks and arginine/lysine intake - its a myth - and B12 infers nothing.] I think what I am asking is - has anyone here ever repeatedly tested negative over and over again over long period of time, before getting a definitive answer, be a positive test, or something else? [The answer to this is: Extremely few people with a HSV-1 infection and even more rarely HSV-2 test repeatedly negative on Westernblot and actually carry the virus. Of the cases that I know of that had delayed detection by a swab and negative blood tests in the meantime (and that's only 3-4 cases), they had some form of lesions within days of infection but did not obtain a swab for various reasons and then obtained a positive swab of a subsequent lesion with the record being 11 months later. A couple of the cases did have some 'background' symptoms they thought might be related to herpes but that isn't ascertained and some did not have any unusual symptoms at all apart from the lesions. Hence as you did not have lesions around your mouth or lips within days of the last sexual encounter as is exceptionally common for a primary oral HSV-1 infection, that pretty much rules out herpes orally as it is. The fact that you had no genital symptoms for a month also rules out genital herpes. I am not aware of anyone at all who has genuinely gone on to test positive by swab or blood in your specific circumstances. There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.