6 months married

[sweetestlove]

Hello All!!! I guess I can say I'm a newby. I've always had cold sores since I was a little girl. I always got/get them when it got cold or when the weather changed drastically. Needless to say I am use to them. However when one showed up on my face back in November I was a little worried. It was the ugliest thing ever. I sat right on my right cheek. Everyone stared. So I went to urgent care and was told that it might be herpes. They gave me a test and I swear that was the longest seven days I've ever experienced. My results came back positive that I had herpes. I was crushed but at the same time I was relieved that it wasn't genital herpes.

So time went on and from the last visit I was prescribed Valtrex. My doctor at urgent care gave me a prescription for 3 more refills.The outbreaks on my face seem to be very unusual and the last one I got was on my upper lip.

My husband and I have been married 6 months. I love him much and I would never cheat on him. We are happy!! Our sexual relationship was good and fulfilling but I wasnt' into the oral thing. He would beg and I would give in just cause I knew those were my "Wifely duties." Well he asked me one night while I still had the ob on my upper lip. It had been there for a week or more so I thought it to be OK. I proceeded and I must say that was the best oral I had given him in a while. No other thoughts after that. I finished my Valtrex, got through the holidays and now I am here.

Monday I felt a burning sensation as I urinated but ignored it because it was faint. Tuesday morning it was a little bit more abrasive so I gave myself a look. There it was a small bump of some sort. I couldn't believe it. I gave myself herpes. I haven't officially been diagnosed because I'm just so hurt to hear bad news but I refilled my Valtrex and after taking it the pain has subsided and so I've concluded that herpes is what it is.

I'm crushed, mad, sad, angry, crying almost depressed because I thought married people had permission to do marital things. I feel as though our sex life will be altered because I will be so paranoid that an ob could happen at any time. We were planning to start having a baby next month but things will change because of the time lapse between this outbreak and my period. I'm afraid I will have another outbreak if I have sex soon.

I'm been trying to call support lines but I can't get through to anything. So, I figured if this support is the best road to take I am willing to listen.

PLEASE help me understand how and why I waited my whole life to get married to only end up with genital herpes.

sweetestlove

[RealisticGal]

First of all, nobody "deserves" herpes. It is a virus that many, many people have. It is not a punishment of any sort. Please try to get that out of your head. You did nothing wrong.

You've had herpes since you were a child. Those cold sores have always been herpes -- you just didn't have the diagnosis. You probably got it from totally non-sexual contact like a kiss on the cheek from a friend or relative or by sharing a saliva-covered toy with another child. That is how most folks get oral herpes. And many of those folks don't even know they have it, because they don't have symptoms.

So you have symptoms, at least orally.

But what is happening in your genital area is...not certain. It is really not likely that you could spread herpes from your oral area to your own genital area by giving your husband oral sex. It is possible he could have contracted genital herpes and given it to you that way, though. Has he been tested yet? He should be.

I would strongly recommend you actually go into the doc, right away, and get the bump on your vulva swabbed and cultured. I know you have yourself convinced that is herpes, but even experts in herpes can make mistakes when trying to diagnose herpes by visual exam alone. The only sure way to know is with proper laboratory tests, because many other conditions can mimic herpes (and vice versa).

Let's look at it this way: what if it is not herpes but is something that needs to be treated? What if you ignore it with the thought that it is herpes and it gets worse?

I hope you will get this checked right away, while the sore is still fresh.

In the meantime, please stop feeling guilt about it. You have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Also, you can learn to manage this virus if you do have it. There are many folks on this board who are proof you can have a good sex life with herpes. Lots of tips here for preventing outbreaks, including those antivirals you just started taking.

Take care...

[RealisticGal]

Incidentally, there is a lot of good information here on this site. The links on the right side of the page are worth reading. You might want to educate yourself a bit more about herpes, because it seems like there might be a lot of things you didn't know about it.

For example as long as that sore on your face was still there, that was the riskiest time to pass herpes. It is still possible to transmit herpes without a visible sore, through something called viral shedding. But when there is a sore you should definitely avoid contact until it is completely healed and the skin looks normal again.

Please check out the links >>>>>>>>>

[sweetestlove]

Thanks RealisticGal!!! You are definitely really that. I will go to urgent care tomorrow. You are right about seeing a doctor. If it's herpes then I have already prepared myself and have the medication for it. I will also encourage my husband to get tested as well. He has had a lot of sex partners especially from when he was in college years ago.

How long do the results come from the test? I think the last time I waited like 7 days.

Lastly, if it is herpes what medication do you think is effective? What do you think about herpraflor(?)? It is a treatment that seems to have great reviews based on what consumer reviews.

sweetestlove

[Denise 07]

Hi Sweetestlove,

Sorry that you are going through a rough time right now If you get tested the results took me 10 days to know what the swab says. In my case I have genital hsv-1 so I got it from my husband who has oral herpes but we've never seen a cold sore on him. Anyway, I took acyclovir 5 x a day for 10 days but it took 6 weeks for me to get back to normal again. My outbreak was really bad and hopefully I'll never have another one again. Also you can still have children if you have genital herpes. I have two kid's and most likely had the virus at the time but it was dormant. I had my kid's via c-section but that was because I couldn't fit my son through and got a fever so we opted for a c-section to be on the safe side. With baby #2 I just scheduled a c-section rather than go through all that again. I had my first genital outbreak in November 2009 at the age of 38 and we've been married for 14 yrs. Alot of people have this virus and don't know it because like Real said they don't show symptoms. I hope in your case that it is something else going on down there but even if it is herpes than you can still have a gratifying sex life and children if you want. Good Luck! Wishing you well

[RealisticGal]

Test result timing varies. Mine took 4 days. It all depends on the lab that is used and type of test.

Of course, a swab and culture can take longer than some blood tests, as you can't rush the growth of the culture. Some blood tests can be very quick, but you want to make sure they are using an accurate test kit.

[sweetestlove]

Can you tell me what medicine you are using? Does it work? I saw that a lot of people don't have good results with Valtrex.

[RealisticGal]

Can you tell me what medicine you are using? Does it work? I saw that a lot of people don't have good results with Valtrex.

If you are asking me, I can't be of much help. I don't take any medication because I don't have herpes --- my partner does. All I can say is that folks have to sometimes try different meds until they find the one that works for them. It varies from person to person.