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The difference in generations

fattypatty

By fattypatty
in 55+ years wise

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fattypatty Honeycomb Member

fattypatty

Posted
Posted

I am very close to my adult sons and discussed my recent turmoil with this issues. My 29 year old had a rather laid back attitude. When I was moaning that I would never have a date again, he simply said, "Just find someone who has the same shit you have." Easier said than done, but his light attitude made me laugh.,

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RON123 Honeycomb Member

RON123

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your boy does,nt know what it feels like to never have another date a gain or any other younge person or for that matter even me..thats why im where im at today because i just wouldnt think about the future.hope the younger people will learn from are misstakes..good luck patty and all..

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gotitsowhat Platinum Support Member

gotitsowhat

Posted
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I have had type 2 genital herpes for about 16 years now. For most of those years, I hid in the "herpes closet," did not tell any of my friends about it, did not even consider dating. Then I decided to tell my friends. I told one guy I have known for many years about my condition and mentioned how scary the idea of dating can be for an hsv infected person. I pointed out that I had just read a survey that said 9 out of 10 people would not want to date someone with genital herpes.

He said, "That's great! Then you only need to go on ten dates!"

I laughed, then added with more seriousness, "But, really, I do not think that would work for me at this point--I'm old and fat!"

He looked serious and thoughtful for a moment and then said, "Yeah, you're right....TWENTY dates!"

Actually, he's right....it's only a matter of how brave you are willing to be when it comes to meeting with some rejection. If you keep it up, the odds eventually work in your favor.

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islandgal49 Honeycomb Member

islandgal49

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I felt I needed to respond to both of your posts. I started dating a 57 yr old man about 2 yrs ago that I knew got the occasional cold sore. Whenever he had an OB we were careful about not having any contact with his lips as we knew it could spread. I was fine with that, I wanted a relationship with the man and all the fine characters that he had. Over the past 2 years I have been amazed at what a wonderful person he is. This past November I was diagonsed with Gential Type 1 H, once past the initial shock, our life has been better than ever. Did I get it from him or was it in my system for a long time... does it really matter. What matter is that there is this wonderful, kind, gentle man in my life that makes me feel so very special. So don't give up on dating, you have a lot to offer someone you just need to put yourself out there and find each other.

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  • 1 month later...
brokenwing Honeycomb Member

brokenwing

Posted
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Hi... I'm new here, so please bear with me as I learn about the site. I read your post, and I understand how hard it is to share this kind of information with family members, and friends. There is definately a realistic concern with what others will assume, and how they will react when given sensitive information. Some will be understanding, and others.... well. We don't owe everyone all the intimate details of our lives (only those whom we hope for a romatic relationship with.) It would be wonderful, in my oppinion if we could just tell everyone, and be very open about our situations. However; though many people are compassioante, and open-minded... not everyone can, or should be trusted with all the details of our lives. Especially sensitive matters. Some people will be very supportive and understanding. The others? Well, if they don't understand, it's likey due to all the misinformation out there, and a lack of accurate information.

One day perhaps, there will be better and more accurate info out there, and the stigma attached to such matters will lessen. That is my hope, because so many feel alienated from others whom they feel "just won't understand".

It feels bad when we feel we are forced to keep secrets from those close to us, who may or may not understand, and who may rush to a poor conclusion.

Best of luck, and I hope sites like this one will help all of us to find acceptance, and given a chance to be seen for who we are, not what we have.

I have not yet told my children, or family members. I have shared with my best friend, and it was a positive experience in that case.

Hope this is in keeping with the rules for posting a reply? If not, I apologize. *Smile*

We are just regular people who

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goodpeople Honeycomb Member

goodpeople

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Hi, I am new to this site. I have had Herpes 1 and 2 since my twenties now I am 52. I just had to make up a lame excuse why I could not date a fantastic guy because I was ashamed to tell him I was infected. I think he should know the truth but I am afraid of his rejection. I do not want to lose him as a friend. Should he have the right to know if we are friends and never date?

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      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By sgt98 · Posted

      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By sgt98 · Posted

      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Looking for some insight on an atypical experience.

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

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Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. 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There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
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