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Rejected

shawnie

By shawnie
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shawnie Honeycomb Member

shawnie

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Recently I was talking/dating a really (I thought) great guy who I have known for a very long time. We started out as really good friend. Things seemed like they were going in the right direction etc. And then I had the "talk" and I told him. Because I had to tell him and he could tell that something was just bothering me. Because I had been really depressed which he could since. I was so depressed because I knew I was going to have to tell him.

He said he still wanted to go out with me and wanted to continue to see me and see where the relationship would go, but as of late, his actions speak louder then words, the phone calls have died down to NONE at all!

So I can only say that he has had a change of heart.

Needless to say I'm crushed, hurt you name it. NOW what... is this going to continue to happen...for the rest of my "wonderful" life...

I just feel like at this point.. why even bother trying to date, wanting a husband etc..

broken heart.

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pazdelmar Established Member

pazdelmar

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Hey, chin up! I hear you. I know exactly how you are feeling. I've been right there, and the same thing happened to me. I was jus as devastaded as you are now. But some time later, I started dating another guy, and he did not have a problem with "it". If we are not together now is because I did not fall in love with him.

The idea, i guess, is to tell you that there are some people so shallow that will reject you over herpes, but there are many others that will love you for what you are, and will take herpes for what it really is: a very common virus that most people have in one way or another and that does not cause letal harm.

I know how hard it is to put up with the stigma that this virus comes along with, but don't let it rule your life.

Soon, you'll findthat you hardly think of it. I've had it for two years and a half, and it does not affect my life at all. and if I'm alone now it is because I do not want to be with someone i do not love.

Just give it time. Enjoy everything you possibly can in your life, and you'll see that love will knock in your door.

Much love,

Paz

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JerseyJohn Honeycomb Member

JerseyJohn

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Awww. Well, that's beat! You ever hear the expression "Friends help you move, but GOOD friends help you move bodies"? I know it is a bit mundane, but a similar principle is at work here. You will find that HSV will weed out the low-quality and insubstantial people that you don't want to be surrounded by, anyway. It demands that you associate with a higher caliber of person and thinker, and truly shows you who your real friends are. It really works in your favor because when you DO meet a great guy who may not have it and is so into you that he doesn't care, you will be in a relationship that will really bring you more happiness in the long run.

You are unique and special and nothing, not HSV, not this jerk, or anyone else can take that from you! Just say that to yourself when you're feeling down. I'm feeling like a broken record here because I keep telling people this: Allowing yourself to get depressed and down is empowering the virus over you. Don't let it control your life by talking with the members here, talking with your doctor, learning everything you can and taking the necessary steps to learn to live with it. It is possible for all of your dreams to STILL come true. Don't give up! :-D

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ALittleDepleted Newbie

ALittleDepleted

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I'm in the same boat as you, though I haven't had the opportunity to spill the beans to anyone yet. I am so scared of doing it for the first time..was this your first time? If so, at least you are over the "Oh shit how am I going to do this?!" hump. Congratulations! If it's not, then just consider yourself a more experienced and resilient role model for us newbies who have no clue how they are going to develop the courage to "come out", so to speak. Until you meet the amazing person who a) accepts your issue and B) you love in return, it probably isn't going to look like the perfect scenario anyway.

The important thing to know is that you are not alone. I know a lot of people who feel alone in life and they are 100% healthy. It's kind of nice to have a personal vulnerable thing that can allow us to be truly caring people towards each other and support one another. I've always wanted that :)

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shawnie Honeycomb Member

shawnie

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Hey, chin up! I hear you. I know exactly how you are feeling. I've been right there, and the same thing happened to me. I was jus as devastaded as you are now. But some time later, I started dating another guy, and he did not have a problem with "it". If we are not together now is because I did not fall in love with him.

The idea, i guess, is to tell you that there are some people so shallow that will reject you over herpes, but there are many others that will love you for what you are, and will take herpes for what it really is: a very common virus that most people have in one way or another and that does not cause letal harm.

I know how hard it is to put up with the stigma that this virus comes along with, but don't let it rule your life.

Soon, you'll findthat you hardly think of it. I've had it for two years and a half, and it does not affect my life at all. and if I'm alone now it is because I do not want to be with someone i do not love.

Just give it time. Enjoy everything you possibly can in your life, and you'll see that love will knock in your door.

Much love,

Paz

I'm trying to keep my chin. this is just super hard for me, as I'm sure it is or has been for others on here. Somedays I just feel like not going on/giving up with life period. And I feel like just keep sitting here in my dark room.

My clock is ticking away... and now this mess on top of it makes it even harder.

Each day is so hard. And the thought of having to tell someone "new" again is even harder and scary. when this is something I want to keep private.

Oh well... But I sincerely thank you for your encouragement Paz.

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shawnie Honeycomb Member

shawnie

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Awww. Well, that's beat! You ever hear the expression "Friends help you move, but GOOD friends help you move bodies"? I know it is a bit mundane, but a similar principle is at work here. You will find that HSV will weed out the low-quality and insubstantial people that you don't want to be surrounded by, anyway. It demands that you associate with a higher caliber of person and thinker, and truly shows you who your real friends are. It really works in your favor because when you DO meet a great guy who may not have it and is so into you that he doesn't care, you will be in a relationship that will really bring you more happiness in the long run.

You are unique and special and nothing, not HSV, not this jerk, or anyone else can take that from you! Just say that to yourself when you're feeling down. I'm feeling like a broken record here because I keep telling people this: Allowing yourself to get depressed and down is empowering the virus over you. Don't let it control your life by talking with the members here, talking with your doctor, learning everything you can and taking the necessary steps to learn to live with it. It is possible for all of your dreams to STILL come true. Don't give up! :-D

Thank you Jersey John :)

much luv

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