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sex during an OB? oops!


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I am new to GHSV2 and I was diagnosed in July 2010.

I am on daily Valtrex and as far as I know, my fiancee has either a) seroconverted by now and is asymptomatic or B) is still negative

We both mutually decided we would not use protection. But I don't think either of us can tell when we are having mild symptoms or not. As far as I know I may not have had an OB yet, but i get itching, burning and tingling sensations but NO SORES. Sometimes I think perhaps my fiancee is naive and doesn't believe he will catch it, and I asked him last night before performing oral on him, and I asked him nicely of course, "are you paying attention to ANY changes down there? Big or small? Weird sensations? Bumps? Rashes etc?" and he said, "yes of course...would I have you go down on me if I saw something strange down there? No!" - I just feel really weird asking to 'see his penis' every time we have sex. I just don't want to be that type of person and make him feel like that. But at the same time, I want him to be aware of any changes, and not be caught up in the moment, and have sex with me anyway...even if he's having an OB.

So my question to any of you is - has anyone EVER accidentally (or unintentionally) had sex during an OB, or before an OB or right after? What has happened?

I usually find a day or two after sex I get an 'ache' in my labia area, but thats it.

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I'm not sure whether you're asking the question under the assumption that he's positive, or that he's negative for H.

But to answer your question, yes. My partner and I both have it, and we've had sex during obs (very mild ones, of course... no blisters), with no ill effects at all. If he's negative, and you're experiencing symptoms, you're more likely to pass it on to him, but I'm sure you already know that.

There's another thread of a very similar nature in Spreading and Preventing started by Boomba that you may find informative.

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My ex had oral hsv-1 and I have genital hsv-1. We had unprotected sex on several occasions while I had a full blown outbreak and nothing happened to him. I also kissed him when he had an active cold sore, and nothing happened to me. Once you have it in one place, you produce antibodies to the virus which provide you with a very high level of protection against getting it in a second place. It is unlikely that you performing oral sex on him is any kind of a risk, since you KNOW that you have it and have had it for over 6 months. Just not sure why you are worrying AT ALL about having sex with him when he "might" be having an OB, since you already have it genitally and so can't catch it genitally again, and are not likely to get it orally either.

Really, he needs to get tested again, because if it is a possibility that he is negative, he is the only one at risk. At least then you would know where you are up to - either he isn't infected and there is a small risk he could become infected, or he is infected and the two of you have no issues whatsoever.

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Once you have it in one place, you produce antibodies to the virus which provide you with a very high level of protection against getting it in a second place. .

Thats the best thing about it, to not have to worry to get it somewhere else, because i read stories where people have it on their labia, anus and thigh, like diff places..so im thankful my bitch only comes on the same side every year, but im still afraid of her spreading elsewhere, but when i read your post i feel more calm.

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  • 2 weeks later...

"As far as I know I may not have had an OB yet, but i get itching, burning and tingling sensations but NO SORES." Those are outbreaks. That is the form mine take on because I'm on antiviral suppressive meds. I abstain from sex with my fiance' who does not have HSV when I feel anything like that, a sharp pain, itching, anything like that you could be viral shedding.

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..not only that...

...but even though my partner made an informed decision NOT to use protection (and believe me....I've argued with him that I want him to use it, but 'he loves me and he wants to accept the risk' - OH FOR SURE He has it by now.

Cuz I didn't know that I could be OBing.

But he says he doesn't feel the need to go get tested again. If he has it. He has it.


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      Hi @CathM if you received oral sex in the days before the sores first appeared then it is important to be sure of type - culture tests do not type. Ask to see your result and see what it says. Is your partner going to test? This is also helpful.
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