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gleek

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  • 4 weeks later...

Eh, things here have been a little shaky for me, classes are kicking my ass and my job has just been outrageous....i wish i could say it was easy for me, but it really hasn't been lately

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I'm less scared of how its going to affect my career and more scared of how people look at me. I've been single a year, it's been almost that long since I was first diagnosed so knowing the asshole that gave this to me didn't even want me still really hurts

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I'm sure that I do. I don't doubt that. I just know that if anyone else that I've told (someone I've come close to dating) has gone running like they didn't have it. So it hurts. And then I close up for a while.

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I've had herpes 9 years, a parting gift from a violently abusive ex...but now I have a good job, own my own house and do okay as a single mother....in that time I have had much better relationships than before I had herpes...and I have had far better sex (a man who will accept you herpes and all is often a man with lots of compassion and therefore a decent man to be with).

I've done all of that since getting herpes...if anything it has made me stronger. I don't need a man like I used to to feel good about myself...and I have learnt that by having to have a strong heart ready to deal with being rejected for having herpes...which has luckily never happened to me.

Be strong and confident, don't let the herpes rule you. If you are disgusted and ashamed the person you tell will pick up on that and feel it too. Just be factual and be confident--if you tell yourself enough times each day that you are confident and you are beautiful...you will start to believe it. But more importantly you are strong, you have character and you are compassionate...and I believe, ironically, that having herpes has improved those areas of my personality...so thank you herpes for making me strong, interesting and giving me a deeper understanding of other peoples fears and shame--you have made me a better person, you bitchy little virus!

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its been almost a year for me, and in that year i had found 9 men who i thought would be good enough to have a relationship with....after they found out,well, they didn't even want to be my friend anymore....i went from an emtionally abusive relationship to a physically relationship to the man who did this to me. i don't know when i'll be ready to jump back in to dating, but my friends and family keep thinking that time is now....i put on a good show, but i just can't bring myself to even want to kiss a man because i don't want to get hurt by them later

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Gleek - I just found out on Wednesday that I have herpes (yep, from a doctor)...I am 24, a college student, currently working on getting my Masters. I was 100% loyal to my boyfriend (been together since Oct) and now suddenly I got herpes? He denies giving it to me (he did get tested but his results will not be in until next Friday) and he also dumped me... It really hurt, on Valentine's he gave me the best V-day ever! Diamond earrings, a hot bath with floating candles shaped like a heart, a fancy dinner, the whole shebang, and he confessed his "undying love" for me...and now he is no where to be seen and keeps screaming at me for cheating. I know I didn't cheat so I know I probably got this from him. He broke my trust, broke my heart, and more than likely gave me herpes. I think of myself as a fairly attractive girl, people frequently tell me I'm a "catch" and now I feel like you do...scared, sad, ect... I am so worried I will never find anyone, and I love having sex and in my past when I've used condoms I pretty much always end up with huge tear in my cervix and end up getting vaginitis so the thought of 1) Never finding a man and 2) Having to use painful condoms (yes, even with LOTS of lube!!!) all seem so depressing to me. I am terrified I will grow to be an old woman with no one by my side growing old with me. I have no idea what I will do when the time comes that I have to have "the talk" with someone but I am not looking forward to it... I'm proud of you though for trying and for telling the men, you said 9 right? That shows a lot of courage and maybe someday you'll tell the 10th guy and he'll hug you and kiss you and tell you he doesn't care... Good luck Gleek, I'm cheering for you.

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Jagg,

It is also possible that the virus was dormant in your system. And of course it could have been dormant in his.

But regardless of all of that, people have lived and married with this virus for over 4500 years. You won't be alone.

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I wish I could say its easy. The first week after I found out, my ex was constantly worrying about me. I found out at the same time I was having a hugely bad reaction to the medicine neurontin (i have nerve damage in my ovaries) so i was throwing up everything for a week and then was diagnosed. I was on suicide watch my entire spring break because my best friend was afraid i was going to kill myself, and looking back, i might have considering i couldn't eat or drink a thing and i certainly was not peeing. I understand how you feel, and I wish I could say it gets easier, but it doesn't, or at least for me it hasn't a year in to it. After a while, you learn to forget about it and you learn to live your life, you get use to the diet and you learn to take extremely good care of yourself, but whenever I meet a guy, in the back of mind I'm sizing up whether or not they'd be someone who could support me through this and be a good boyfriend who doesn't look at me as the girl that has herpes but looks at me like a normal person. I don't tell people because I notice the difference in the way I'm looked at between those that know and those that don't....it breaks me a little more every single day.

My ex now denies ever giving it to me, he denies even having it. He told his cousin to tell me if I told anyone else I got it from him he'd take me to court. He says he has a piece of paper proving he's clean. I said I have my doctor who wrote him the prescription for valtrex and half a dozen people including his own family who he told that he gave it to me.

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