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Herpes = loss of everything you had the day before diagnosed

enlightenlife3

By enlightenlife3
in Personal Experience with Herpes

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enlightenlife3 Honeycomb Member

enlightenlife3

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Just an update for some of you who know my story. I was diagnosed with HSV2 on Nov 15th after I was roofied and assaulted after a party. Since then I have lost my ex fiance whom I was getting back together with. He only can support me as a friend right now and not a partner. He simply said that he does not want to have to deal with Herpes and he should not have to. I started therapy and antidepression medication, along with Valtrex suppressive therapy. I have been in and out of a mental hospital because I wanted to die and tried to take a bottle of 45 Xanax on 2 different occassions. Needless to say, I can not work now and had to go on disability, so I lost the love of going to work and going home feeling accomplished. I lost the love of my life, the love of self and feel like I will never get any kind of enjoyable life back. Not to mention the "Who will want me now" thoughts. It has been a little over 2 months and my life as I knew it is gone and I am so sad and depressed.

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elmerette Established Member

elmerette

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I am so sorry you are going thru so much, but am relieved to hear that you are seeing a therapist and taking medication. Nothing is ever worth losing your life over. I hate to sound trite, but time will heal all wounds, physical, mental and emotional. Stay in therapy and on the meds, it will get better, I promise!

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Rowergirl33 Honeycomb Member

Rowergirl33

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I know exactly how you feel, I went to the doctor a few days ago and while the test results aren't back, i am sure that I have it. anyways, I find myself looking at things or remembering this, or people bringing up times... and I think "Those were the good days! When none of this crap had happened" Whatever you are doing to keep your mood up, let me know! I feel like life is just about over.

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Fully Qualified Survivor Established Member

Fully Qualified Survivor

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believe it or not, there are a hell of a lot worse things that can happen to you. Herpes really is not such a big deal. People will still love you, people will still hurt you. Herpes is insignificant. You can of course allow it to rule your life and use it as an excuse for every crap thing that happens to you but that will be your decision. Life is not over....your're just starting out x

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barista Honeycomb Member

barista

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I also am very sorry for everything you are experiencing, but allowing yourself to find help means a lot! I have had cold sores since I was a child and am worried I may now have genital (unsure of h1 or h2 at the moment) Though it was shocking to notice the ob in my lower region after so many years of cs obs, I had to look at it objectively. Herpes does not kill you. It is a total downer during obs, but man there are other things I could have and probably should have done to myself my this age and am lucky to be alive today in my opinion. We all are! We live in an age where we contract this pain in the ass of a virus and are able to suppress is as soon as it rears its ugly head! Then we can get on our computers and talk to everyone else having the same problem instantly! Its awesome! =]

Keep your chin up. Conquer your emotions before all else. Maintain your health and don't let this inconvenience stand in the way of your life and dreams. We are all here for you.

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GECH Honeycomb Member

GECH

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You will eventually find your true love someday. Don't worry. That person won't care about Herpes.

I was a virgin before I met my boyfriend who has Herpes. Do you know what I always care about? His health ! There were a couple of times he had done things that made me so mad. I know he didn't intend to do these things. Instead of yelling at or arguing with him, I remained calm when I thought about his Herpes. He's working so hard with long hours. I don't want him to get more stress and pressure from our argument that could lead him to have outbreaks. I shut my mouth just walked away. The next day, my anger went way. :p

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Kitty123 Platinum Support Member

Kitty123

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I was in your shoes and wanted to end my life. But then I realized, there is HIV/AIDS, CANCER, LUPUS, people with NO arms or legs, people who can't have children and who desperately want them, Hepatitis, you name it. There is WAY WORSE.

Herpes only hurts because of the stigma. I know I might say that now, and then post a dreadful story tomorrow on here, but today, I'm not going to let it bother me.

Don't kill yourself over ANYTHING. Your life is a gift from God. Don't disrespect him by giving it back. He's definitely not ready to take you back yet.

((HUGS))

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enlightenlife3 Honeycomb Member

enlightenlife3

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Thanks everyone for all the encouragement. Herpes is not the worst thing in the world, I know. It's just that after 3 assaults and getting herpes to boot, being left by my ex fiance, loss of my son and father, a bunch of loss, loss, loss. It is just so painful and that is not even all the story. I try everyday to keep my chin up, it's all I can do.

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JHenry Established Member

JHenry

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Enlightened,... No one thing and/or person should be allowed to control anybodys life. When life has started to get me down (for whatever reason) my salvation has been to do something for the benefit of others. It not only takes my mind off my own, sometimes selfish concerns, but helps me refocus on how fortunate I am by comparison. Recently at mass, our priest told us about "FACE". F=Forgive, A=Be accountable, C=Do not be self-centered and lastly, E=We are desitined to be miserable and unahappy if we feel we are "entitled" to anything. A very strong realignment of ones "perspectives". There will also be those with so much more of everything, but always those that have so, so very much less. Count thy blessings. Henry.

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CLover xtc Honeycomb Member

CLover xtc

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I feel like shit. I'm actually crying as im writing this. I don't know if I have herpes, but I have been seen by 2 doctors and a practitioner who have all seen and said I probably have herpes. I am terrified. I have so many questions running through my head and I feel like my world is crashing around me. Last week, I was in a car accident that totaled my BRAND NEW car that I only had for 3 weeks, and this week I may have herpes. Every time a doctor said it might be herpes, I tried to make another excuse for it to be something else. I am 18, a freshman in college, I am suppose to be at the high of my life, and now I feel like my life is over and I have no idea what to do.

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    • sgt98
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By sgt98 · Posted

      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By sgt98 · Posted

      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      What is the usual order of events in initial infection for GHSV?

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Looking for some insight on an atypical experience.

      By WilsoInAus · Posted

      Hi @NerdP423 and welcome to the website. You raise a lot of points and I think the best way to address your concerns is add some comments at each key point. I've copied your note again below and added these comments in square brackets. I appreciate any insight (even speculation) as to what has been going on with me. I'm a 37y/o M. I last was intimate with a new partner on 2/11/2022, and a few days later started having a huge amount of discomfort in my face. [The first thing that happens though is that herpes causes lesions or at least some skin based disruption. Other symptoms are then related to the actions of the immune system responding to the virus. Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. [If this was a PCR then this will be very conclusive.] Practitioner said it may come back negative because it was already open. However the lab report noted that it definitely didn't look like what you'd expect a typical first herpes outbreak to look like [how would the lab know??]. All blood tests negative so far. I had two western blots, the second one was nine months after exposure. [Two negative Westernblots!!! Many that's real convincing]. All other swabs also negative. I went to urgent care, because I know the timeliness of when the Swab is taken matters. One time, a swab was not done, because practitioner said it was folliculitis and wouldn't swab it (It was at my belt line). [Belt line is highly unlikely to relate to herpes.]   A blood test revealed I had low-ish B12 (technically in range, but at the very low end, especially for a man of my size). I had a series of B12 injections, and I am taking a B12 supplement. I am not taking any lysine or arginine at the moment. I was taking the Arganine to see if I could induce an outbreak. [This is irrelevant, there is no known linkage between herpes outbreaks and arginine/lysine intake - its a myth - and B12 infers nothing.] I think what I am asking is - has anyone here ever repeatedly tested negative over and over again over long period of time, before getting a definitive answer, be a positive test, or something else? [The answer to this is: Extremely few people with a HSV-1 infection and even more rarely HSV-2 test repeatedly negative on Westernblot and actually carry the virus. Of the cases that I know of that had delayed detection by a swab and negative blood tests in the meantime (and that's only 3-4 cases), they had some form of lesions within days of infection but did not obtain a swab for various reasons and then obtained a positive swab of a subsequent lesion with the record being 11 months later. A couple of the cases did have some 'background' symptoms they thought might be related to herpes but that isn't ascertained and some did not have any unusual symptoms at all apart from the lesions. Hence as you did not have lesions around your mouth or lips within days of the last sexual encounter as is exceptionally common for a primary oral HSV-1 infection, that pretty much rules out herpes orally as it is. The fact that you had no genital symptoms for a month also rules out genital herpes. I am not aware of anyone at all who has genuinely gone on to test positive by swab or blood in your specific circumstances. There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
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