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Hi everyone,

I'm 23 and living alone abroad. I was a virgin until last week. I got very drunk and slept with a guy who thought he was clean. While the tests have not confirmed it yet, I am 99% positive I've got h.

This is just a really shitty situation. I've been kinda dating a different guy who I really like, but he's been doing the "lets not label this" sorta thing. He also says we shouldn't necessarily be exclusive, but I know he's not seeing anyone else (so far). He knows that a month ago I was a virgin and probably still thinks I am. I'm very shy - or I guess reserved is a better way of putting it - and I hate opening myself up to people. It takes me a long time to trust anyone (when sober). If I do have h, I don't know what I'll do because I don't think telling this guy one month into a pseudo-relationship is a good idea. He'll probably - and understandably - run for the hills and I will go back into my shell never to emerge again! I was already so afraid of getting burned and now it's practically inevitable.

On top of all that I have the biggest f**cking OB ever. It hurts like hell and I've had to find a doc and get the meds and everything when I don't speak the language here.

Seriously. What are the chances. :(

Overall I am a pretty strong person so I know this isn't the end of the world and I know I can handle this. It just really sucks. I feel like a total idiot and like no one will ever want me. It kinda seems like the universe is punishing me for something or at least out to get me. I don't have anyone to really talk to around here since I've only been here a few months. It would just be nice to know that other people have dealt with the same shit/don't think I'm an idiot. (maybe that's asking a bit much, I think I'm an idiot)

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im 22

2 years ago my ex of 2years...the only boy i ever slept with, and we was happy....

he went on a lads holiday and when he come back about 2 weeks after i caught herpes.

im a strong person but it broke me and at the time i was distraught and even tried to OD...

but last year i meet an amazing guy and he has turned my world around.. im so happy and he dosent care in the slightest.

if you have got it, it wont kill you...

good luck...

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What did the doctor say? Is he/she 99% sure or is it just you that is 99% sure? Did you get a swab and an IgG test?

Doctors can be wrong on visual exams and I imagine patients are wrong even more. I would just try to relax until you get the results of your tests. It could be something, something else or nothing.

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Hi. Welcome to this site. There is a lot of great information to the right and supportive members who understand what you are going through. First off - you are not an idiot. You are right, this is not the end of the world. There will be a lot of guys out there who will want you. I have GHSV2 and my bf doesn't. You sound like a strong person who will be able to get through this. It is really hard in the beginning, but it gets better. I was diagnosed a little over two months ago and it has already gotten so much better for me. Take care hun. :)

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    • sgt98
      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @NerdP423 and welcome to the website. You raise a lot of points and I think the best way to address your concerns is add some comments at each key point. I've copied your note again below and added these comments in square brackets. I appreciate any insight (even speculation) as to what has been going on with me. I'm a 37y/o M. I last was intimate with a new partner on 2/11/2022, and a few days later started having a huge amount of discomfort in my face. [The first thing that happens though is that herpes causes lesions or at least some skin based disruption. Other symptoms are then related to the actions of the immune system responding to the virus. Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. [If this was a PCR then this will be very conclusive.] Practitioner said it may come back negative because it was already open. However the lab report noted that it definitely didn't look like what you'd expect a typical first herpes outbreak to look like [how would the lab know??]. All blood tests negative so far. I had two western blots, the second one was nine months after exposure. [Two negative Westernblots!!! Many that's real convincing]. All other swabs also negative. I went to urgent care, because I know the timeliness of when the Swab is taken matters. One time, a swab was not done, because practitioner said it was folliculitis and wouldn't swab it (It was at my belt line). [Belt line is highly unlikely to relate to herpes.]   A blood test revealed I had low-ish B12 (technically in range, but at the very low end, especially for a man of my size). I had a series of B12 injections, and I am taking a B12 supplement. I am not taking any lysine or arginine at the moment. I was taking the Arganine to see if I could induce an outbreak. [This is irrelevant, there is no known linkage between herpes outbreaks and arginine/lysine intake - its a myth - and B12 infers nothing.] I think what I am asking is - has anyone here ever repeatedly tested negative over and over again over long period of time, before getting a definitive answer, be a positive test, or something else? [The answer to this is: Extremely few people with a HSV-1 infection and even more rarely HSV-2 test repeatedly negative on Westernblot and actually carry the virus. Of the cases that I know of that had delayed detection by a swab and negative blood tests in the meantime (and that's only 3-4 cases), they had some form of lesions within days of infection but did not obtain a swab for various reasons and then obtained a positive swab of a subsequent lesion with the record being 11 months later. A couple of the cases did have some 'background' symptoms they thought might be related to herpes but that isn't ascertained and some did not have any unusual symptoms at all apart from the lesions. Hence as you did not have lesions around your mouth or lips within days of the last sexual encounter as is exceptionally common for a primary oral HSV-1 infection, that pretty much rules out herpes orally as it is. The fact that you had no genital symptoms for a month also rules out genital herpes. I am not aware of anyone at all who has genuinely gone on to test positive by swab or blood in your specific circumstances. There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
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