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just diagnosed..... any words will help at this point


Rowergirl33

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Is it okay to use this post as a time to rant? I feel like there aren't many people I can do that too - the few close friends I have told have heard this all already and I don't want to annoy them with it.

I just don't understand how this could happen. I am only 18 and I have had sex ONCE. Just ONE time! & he said he was using a condom. The problem is I was really drunk because my it was my friends birthday and she had this big party. I've talked to the guy and he says he thinks he's clean but there is really no other way I could have gotten genital herpes, he spent the whole night with me and I haven't been in that situation with anyone else. I started feeling uncomfortable 'down there' about 8 days after we hooked up. I waited a day and then scheduled a doctors appointment. I was a little nervous because I had never had that kind of doctors appointment, but I really did not think it was a STD. Like, I was pretty sure that was impossible. And then she said that they had to take culture and stuff and run tests but it looked like I had herpes. And then I just sat there and she told me some stuff but then I just started crying. How could this happen?!? One time and this happened?????? I was sure it was impossible. So I had to go back to school and all my friends and basketball teammates know something is up because they knew I had a doctors appointment. I just don't understand. Also, this guy who really likes me and who i really like asked me to go out with him today and I was all excited but I just canceled on him, i told him I was sick, and didn't want to get him sick, which is 100% true. I just can't believe that after being really social and going out for a WEEK of my whole life, now its like those possibilities of meeting guys and flirting and hooking up are over. I got to experience it for a WEEK!!! and I am only EIGHTEEN!!! I also don't know how this is going to affect me otherwise - I have a rowing scholarship to OSU next year, but considering it is uncomfortable for me to even walk right now, I don't know how I will be able to do that. I am just really scared, uncomfortable, depressed, and upset.

I don't really know who I am mad at - Myself or God? I don't know if religion is brought up on this site often, but I am a presbyterian and I know that God has a plan for me. I just don't understand it. I had so much stuff set out, my life was literally, i would consider it almost perfect. Was this to bring me back down to earth??? I don't know. I know it is my fault for losing control and not being careful, but I still, I just don't know what to think.

Another question - is it normal that I am not very upset with the guy that gave it to me? I don't know why but I know you can't erase the future so there is no point in being mad at him. But is that weird???

Thanks for taking the time if you actually read this. As you can see i am in a bit of a situation and all I do is cry, it's pretty pathetic. Any words of wisdom would be much appreciated!! <3

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best way to make God laugh is to have a plan. You probably feel that your life is over. It isn't. It hasn't even begun. You may or may not have a virus. Everything will get better. How good your life is depends on you. Not on a dumb virus. You are much greater than that. You are a complex human being and you will meet other complex human beings. If one of them dares to judge you then they are not worth knowing. Move on. x

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I just found out I have genital herpes and it has turned my life upside down. But as I read more and educate myself more, I start feelin a little bettr. So many people have this and dont kno it. One out of five have it so u are far from being alone. Ur next partner may b goin thru the same thing and afraid of how to tell u, it will get bettr. The pain when walkin ur talkin about goes away quick, just a few days, until the sore goes away. I feel jus like u, whyd this happen toME? Its gona b ok babygirl

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what you are feeling is normal. Right now your in shock. it a lot to take in but your life not over. You can still take the rowing scholership and you can do it. Your not going to be breaking out everyday. there no reason for you to stop that. You have a long life AHEAD OF YOU . you can still go to colledge, get married and have kids

you wouyld be surprised how many men will except you having herpies. why just the other day i told a guy i had herpies to0 try to get him to back off and he did not care. not one bit and that a guy i not even interested in

baby your a fine decent human being. this is not youor fault and it was not god will. god allows things to happen to us but he does not give us things. It was never god plan for you to get herpies it just happened.

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I too felt the exact same way when I found out I had hsv1 at my first gyno apt ever. And that was in October. I have good days and I have bad days. But I don't think you should be made at yourself of God. Like you I too was very angry and broken and crushed and still sometimes am. But God didn't do this to me, I did this to me. Bc, I didn't make someone wear a condom, bc I trusted someone full heartedly. But the days are gettting better. I joined this site about a month ago, bc I could no longer take the depression and sitting up all night crying. And it has been a wonderful place to find strength and support. I have told only a few close friends and they have been very supportive and understanding, however they will never understand how you feel at this moment bc they aren't in the same position as you. Do you know what type you have? If its hsv1 the guy might not know that hsv1 is usually a coldsore and if he went down on you with that then he has it, he just doesn't know it. I encourage you to look at all the information on this forum it is very helpful and talk in the chat room theyre are some amazing people in there. You don't have to give up anything bc of this outbreak, studies show the first one is the worst. I thought the pits of hell had opened up on my kroutch. So my advice to you is this, check out the changes you can make in your diet, take lysine everyday its a skin health amino acid I do, vit C AND B and I take Acyclovir daily as well, more for peace of mind then anything. The positive thing about hsv is this at least you are going to learn from your mistake, and you won't be just "hooking up" bc its fun or your drunk, you'll be with someone who respects you enough to wear a condom and make sure that your in love and they love you. Bc love truly does conquer all even herpes.

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I also wanted to let you know that you shouldn't feel angry at God. Since you seem to have faith, you know that he doesn't CAUSE bad things to happen, but rather lets them happen. This could be a test of your faith. He loves you still and hopefully you can pray about it and come to terms with Him and your anger.

It's hard that this happened to you now, and I competely understand, I'm only 20 years old and dealing with this as well.

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Heyyy I go to OSU!!!

I was just diagnosed as well, but I don't think its really hit me yet..maybe it never will. I got mine from my friend "with benefits" He swore up and down he tested clean not even 6 months ago..but a normal screening doesn't test for HSV. I assume you're on medication for the outbreak and once you get over this one its possible that you won't ever have one again. But if you do then you automatically just start taking meds to help heal it, which will shorten the time frame. HSV is so common, and I didn't even know that until I started researching it on my own. I know that it completely sucks having it, and it seems like you've been "robbed" of your college years but I promise you can and will still have fun. Try focusing on you, and being more positive and healthier and all that before you start worrying about guys. But just know that you can still flirt and date and meet guys, but take things slow or just keep it casual. Hooking up is overrated anyhow, lol. All in all, I'm right there with you..

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    • sgt98
      Hey @WilsoInAus ok thank you, I will do my best to move on and stop trawling forums haha. 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hey @sgt98 but there is no feasible infection or outbreak to suppress and antivirals do not suppress an initial outbreak in any event 
    • sgt98
      Thanks @WilsoInAus I understand apologies for this but the only other thing I am worried about is that I did take a course of Famvir on day 1 as I felt like I was having an outbreak of cold sores and am worried that has suppressed the initial outbreak genitally 
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @sgt98 it is not feasible to obtain a HSV-2 infection from receiving oral sex - only HSV-1 is feasible but you've already got that and immunity from any further infection with HSV-1. You do not need any further tests for HSV. You're feeling regret, try to forgive yourself and calm down, let the rational take over. You know the answer here and it won't be long until you believe it too.
    • WilsoInAus
      Hi @NerdP423 and welcome to the website. You raise a lot of points and I think the best way to address your concerns is add some comments at each key point. I've copied your note again below and added these comments in square brackets. I appreciate any insight (even speculation) as to what has been going on with me. I'm a 37y/o M. I last was intimate with a new partner on 2/11/2022, and a few days later started having a huge amount of discomfort in my face. [The first thing that happens though is that herpes causes lesions or at least some skin based disruption. Other symptoms are then related to the actions of the immune system responding to the virus. Without lesions, it is highly questionable that the ailment is related to herpes, yet testing is useful if you have concerns as you have done so.] About a month after that [herpes causes issues within days, if the first 'symptoms' are a month later - its extremely unlikely they are related to herpes], significant discomfort downstairs, however every test I have ever taken for HSV 1 and 2 has been negative. Here are the details: Face: Previously, some significant tingling and itching on the right side of my mouth, lips and chin (still there, but milder) [herpes does not cause general tingling and itching, it can cause a reasonably concentrated feeling of itch/throb from which a herpes lesion appears within hours]. Occasional hot flashes near my right eye, cheek and ear [herpes does not do this, it may be a immune response to something, or stress]. Sometimes it will feel like the skin is crawling on the right side of my face [herpes does not cause a general crawling sensation]. Never seen anything that looked like a traditional cold sore [that's extremely telling, even people with associated atypical symptoms will have experienced herpes lesions]. Occasionally, the left side of my face will have a momentary feeling of skin crawling, but it's so mild that I am not really worried about it. Downstairs: Thankfully, most of these are now milder than they were before. Occasional momentary pinch of pain at the base of my genitals. [herpes does not cause a general pinch feeling.] Aching pain in my boxer area (groin, leg folds) [nor this] Occasional feeling of cold in my boxer area, butt, or lower back. ( also in my shins and occasionally even my arms) [nor this] On 4/30/2022, I had been in discomfort for almost two months. I scratched an itch, noticed it hurt, and then checked - I did have an open ulcer down there. Took myself to the ER to get swabbed, came back negative. [If this was a PCR then this will be very conclusive.] Practitioner said it may come back negative because it was already open. However the lab report noted that it definitely didn't look like what you'd expect a typical first herpes outbreak to look like [how would the lab know??]. All blood tests negative so far. I had two western blots, the second one was nine months after exposure. [Two negative Westernblots!!! Many that's real convincing]. All other swabs also negative. I went to urgent care, because I know the timeliness of when the Swab is taken matters. One time, a swab was not done, because practitioner said it was folliculitis and wouldn't swab it (It was at my belt line). [Belt line is highly unlikely to relate to herpes.]   A blood test revealed I had low-ish B12 (technically in range, but at the very low end, especially for a man of my size). I had a series of B12 injections, and I am taking a B12 supplement. I am not taking any lysine or arginine at the moment. I was taking the Arganine to see if I could induce an outbreak. [This is irrelevant, there is no known linkage between herpes outbreaks and arginine/lysine intake - its a myth - and B12 infers nothing.] I think what I am asking is - has anyone here ever repeatedly tested negative over and over again over long period of time, before getting a definitive answer, be a positive test, or something else? [The answer to this is: Extremely few people with a HSV-1 infection and even more rarely HSV-2 test repeatedly negative on Westernblot and actually carry the virus. Of the cases that I know of that had delayed detection by a swab and negative blood tests in the meantime (and that's only 3-4 cases), they had some form of lesions within days of infection but did not obtain a swab for various reasons and then obtained a positive swab of a subsequent lesion with the record being 11 months later. A couple of the cases did have some 'background' symptoms they thought might be related to herpes but that isn't ascertained and some did not have any unusual symptoms at all apart from the lesions. Hence as you did not have lesions around your mouth or lips within days of the last sexual encounter as is exceptionally common for a primary oral HSV-1 infection, that pretty much rules out herpes orally as it is. The fact that you had no genital symptoms for a month also rules out genital herpes. I am not aware of anyone at all who has genuinely gone on to test positive by swab or blood in your specific circumstances. There are hundreds if not more than a thousand experiences on this website alone that are similar to yours that are truly negative for herpes I'm one of them!]  
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