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vocalizemylife

By vocalizemylife
in Newly Diagnosed

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vocalizemylife Newbie

vocalizemylife

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everything will be ok.. i swear everything will be ok. i promise im not alone.. im not alone.. either the doctors are wrong and its just some weird looking bumps or therell be some kinda miracle and everything will be gone.. you wont have the virus anymore and you can live a normal life and finally be the lesbian you want to be... i keep telling myself these things... and i keep thinking, "well maybe this is just a dream" but its not!! and so i have to act like im this incredibly happy person while im at school and everything... well im not. im freggin dying!! ill never have kids and im afraid to pet my freggin cat!!!! theres absolutely no one in my situation in my city... i tried calling that hamilton help thing... no answer all day.... i go on like 5 different std dating sites... there are absolutely no lesbians with hpv... its ALLL hsv... freg i wouldve rathered herpes cause id have an easier time seeing that im not alone. i AM alone!!! im not gonna go to a whole different country to find love!! i kept raising the ages in the std dating search things too... 18-25, 18-26.. ok, 18-28... ok ok, 18-29.. ok fiine, 18-30... no one but mmeeee!!!! and i mean... i was in 5 or more std dating sites!! and theres no addresses for support groups in hamilton... theres only one support group in hamilton and it doesnt give the address, just the number and they dont even answer their phones!!!! freeeggg!!! i always told myself if i ever got and uncurable std im killing myself... well now i have one and i cant kill myself... i want to though!! i want to soo bad... i have pills waiting for me too... but then i think about my mom and i dont want her getting back into crack... i cant have that... i cant be the reason for her relapsing and over dosing or something... so i cant kill myself... i have to live with being alone for the rest of my life.. fuck i wish i was ugly!! thats the main problem... people hit on me aalll the time... i never admitted it before but yeah im a good looking girl... and now it doesnt even matter because im a good looking girl with not such a good looking vagina!! i can never have sex again!! i mean i can do stuff to them but they cant touch me.. and i cant touch myself before or even after i touch them... ever... and sanitize.. keep sanitizing my hands... keep washing them... im gonna dry my hands out so bad but im paranoid... i dont know what to do with myself.. and im scared of giving it to my feggin cat!! cause people sleep with their hands down their pants all the time, ive woken up with my hands down my pants.. and my cat sleeps with me.. and she tends to lick hands and fingers and faces allll the time... so what do i do??? i gotta like saran wrap that whole area or soemthing.... im going nuts!!! i need some freggin help and i need to find people like me!!! and i know i might get some nasty comments or something... but i just needed to rant.. i needed to get this out of my system... is there any more lesbians out there like me??

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Kitty123 Platinum Support Member

Kitty123

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Are you from Hamilton, ONTARIO? I know there are support groups in Toronto that apparently are really great.

And this site is AMAZING. I was dx'd with HSV2 in July 2010 and although NOW I'm just starting to be at peace with it, EVERYONE on here is very supportive.

Come join us in chat. We are all a great bunch of people. We can take your mind off of it when you want to, and talk about it when you need to. :)

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Torontojayjay Established Member

Torontojayjay

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My gosh, I live in Toronto and am having the same problem. There is no gay men on the dating sites with oral hsv1.

Btw, I may be going to grad school in the hammer!!

How is the gay seen there?

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vocalizemylife Newbie

vocalizemylife

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great

the gay scene here is great... but im not too sure about the gay hsv scene... im still looking for a support group and hopefully therell be gay people there. but theres all ages dances once a month at a place called the werx.. and theres a club called the embassy, thats my favorite. theres a dance every friday there.. theres awesome shows you can watch like for trans people... and i find its very open here. but i think toronto might be better... the gay prides are so much better in toronto lol. but doesnt like 90% of the worlds population get cold sores?? cold sores are herpes too... isnt that hsv-1?? lol... sorry if im wrong :S

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