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Scared and Afraid


cassper

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I just found out yesterday that I tested positive for herpes. Im not sure what type I have yet until monday. I dont know where I got this virus and I just started doing research about herpes. I dont know what to expect and Im scared.:(

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Have you had any ob's? Is it oral or genital? If you post more info, you will get responses that will help hon! Just dont spaz out, remember to breathe, and it will get easier with time. It did with me, and most of the people that I know. Feel free to ask any questions

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Im not sure yet what type I have. I will find out on monday. I noticed an out brake about 2 months ago on my gentitals and never thought about anything until I had other symptoms and went to the doctors. Ive been having ups and downs with my boyfriend and I blamed all this on him because I thought I had clymdia. Well it wasnt that. Im just taking it minute by minute. Then day by day.

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Try to relax, it does get better! I promise! Usually the first couple of months are the worst, the first 3 for me. Since then, the ob's are way less severe and painful, and very, very infrequent. If your bf gets cold sores, then you get oral sex from him, that can spread it. Use the section to the right to educate yourself, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask!

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Hi Cassper,

You are doing everything right by taking things minute by minute. You are not alone, and there is great support on this website! Elmerette's suggestion is wonderful-post your questions, thoughts, etc., and people will respond. Please take care of yourself and I hope you start to feel better soon.

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Well I found out today that I have type 2. My bf is at the doctors right now getting his testing done. It really sucks bc I dont know how long ive had this and I dont know who I got this from. Its kinda sad but I want to put the blame on someone right now and the only person I can find to do that is myself. Its just that I am angry and I dont know how to express it in a healthy way. I always hold everything in and I know that its not good for me. But it does help that I can be open on this website. Thats one good thing.

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I just found out this week. In fact, I'm waiting on the official word, but my doctor was pretty certain. It's going to take some adjustment. I hear you on the anger part, though. It's tough, part of me wants to call every single person I've slept with and demand answers. I've been good. Been careful. And it seems so unfair that I have this after being good when I know people that are clean as a whistle with considerable less discretion. When you find a good way to let out your anger, let me know. Until then, just keep your chin up. It'll be okay.

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I know exactly how you feel. Scared and alone. I think that is how all of us feel at first. But just remember that you are not alone. Millions have and live with herpes. If it was THAT bad then half of us would be walking around with a miserable look on our face and be depressed 24/7. Do you see this? Nope! I know things look so dark and scary right now, but as everyone has been saying, YES, it does get better. I was diagnosed 7 months ago with genital type 1 and am currently experiencing my second OB. Though not nearly as bad physically or emotionally, its the mental aspect of accepting it and not letting it convince me that I am a dirty or awful person. Society has placed some evil and unfair judgements on this virus. It could be so much worse. That is what I keep telling myself. Good luck with your results and stay strong!

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Hi Cassper and clearbluesky. Welcome to this site. I wrote a similar scared and afraid post a little over two months ago (I have GHSV2). I can honestly say it has gotten a lot better for me. This has helped me so much. There is a lot of great information to the right and tons of supportive members who understand what you are going through. I am in the same boat as you two - I do not know how long I've had it or who I got it from. I'm sure we all have our suspicions, but its so hard to really know. Even if an ex tested positive, that doesn't mean that we didn't give it to them! I don't dwell on this part because all that really matters is that I have it. My partners and I have always gotten tested, I did not know that testing for H was not included when you said test for everything unless you specifically ask for it. Well, I know now lol. All I know is I had my 1st OB after I had been with my bf for 4 months. He is negative and said from the moment I told him nothing changed and he still wanted to be with me :) I hope both of you start feeling better asap. Just remember, we're all here for you.

Clearbluesky - we're all still "clean"! Well, as long as we all showered today ;) You are not dirty for having this! It is just a mostly harmless and very common skin condition.

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Yes I do agree with you norcallove. I always thought that I had been tested for herpes. I thought it was a rutine test that you got when you had your annual exams along with the blood work. I did not know they only tested for HIV. That is kinda upsetting. I talked more with my bf last nite about what he really thought about all this and he said he is not going anywhere. Im not going to go through this alone if he does not have it. That is reasurring. I asked him if he was scared to get herpes and he said not really. I think he understand more than I do that this is just a skin condition.

We were talking 2 months ago about marriage and I hope he still feels the same way. I dont want to rush him and I want us to make sure we are making this decision for the right reasons. I really love him and I am finding out he will stick by me through thick and thin. Thats something you dont find very often these days.

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Cassper - Sounds like you have a great guy. As a lot of people on here say, how someone reacts to this shows a lot about their character. I am happy to hear that your bf is going to stick around and be there for you no matter what. I'm glad you don't have to go through it alone. I recently asked my BF is he was scared/worried about getting H. He really isn't that scared either and says he doesn't even really think about it. I was the one worrying for nothing! Take care hun. :)

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here is some info that i think will help you. it a video about herpies that tells about herpies in a compassionate unjudemental way and there a handbook too.

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here is the info . very good video.

i found this on another sight and I am cross posting it here. It great info. Handbook and video too this is great for all newly diagnosed

this is a free online resource for you and your partner if you haven't read it already. Terri Warren keeps it up to date with the latest information. it has all the basic info on genital herpes you need.

If you don't mind paying money, she also wrote a book this year "the good news about the bad news". It really goes into the psychological side of having herpes more than the free handbook does. There is also a free patient counseling video on her site too if your provider didn't already give you the valtrex herpes packet with the dvd in it -

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I too have just been diagnosed myself within the last month. It was very upsetting at 1st but now it is getting better with time and talking to others. It does not define you it is only a skin condition!

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    • Justme88
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