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cassper

Scared and shocked

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cassper

Yesterday I found out that I tested positive for herpes. The worst thing was is that I found out over the phone while my son was in the hospital for a surgery. All I can remember was the words positive and the rest I don't remember. I'm very upset because I dont know where I got the virus. On monday I will find out what type I have but Im also mad because I've been in a commited relationship for 23 months and I just had my second child. It's his first child though. He has told me that he has not cheated and neither have I and I thought I was careful in my past relationships. I guess not. My boyfriend is going to be checked as well on monday and I pray he doesn't have this. He has told me that I won't go through this alone but I will always wonder if he's gonna leave. I've never had a STD and I never thought I would. But one thing I do have to be thankful for is it is not AIDS. Ive read up a little though websites and I found a site tonight that had alot of encouraging words. It said "Herpes does not change all the good and wonderful things that make you 'you'. It has nothing to do with you intelligence, social habits or bank account. You are a loving, sexual, whole individual and no-one else on the planet has the things that you have to offer. This skin condition does not make the essenced of you any less beautiful." Those words really helped me tonight and maybe they will help you too.

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Sunshine2you

Oh, Cassper, I'm so sorry that you received your news when your son was in the hospital. I hope he is okay and that things are settling down a bit for you. I just want to let you know that you don't get herpes because you weren't careful. People can get herpes the first time they have sex with someone, and they can get them even when condoms are being used. So many people with HSV 1 and 2 are asymptomatic and don't even know that they have herpes! Many times, they unknowingly pass it along to other partners. You could have had this virus for several years without knowing it. Please don't blame yourself, okay? It sounds like your man loves you a lot, and hopefully he will be able to help you through this difficult time.

Please know that you are not alone and that people care. I hope everything gets better for you soon and that your son gets better as well!

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RealisticGal

All the things you are feeling now are totally normal. I'm glad you found the encouragement on that web site, because it is all true. Please take it to heart.

Herpes is a sneaky little bastard of a virus. With herpes there is no such thing as "safe sex." And it is very difficult to pinpoint when or from whom a person may have contracted it.

But it is, after all, just a virus --- not unlike chickenpox or the flu. It isn't dirty and it doesn't change who you are.

Take care...

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butterflybaby

Thanks RealisticGal

Your posts are great. I'm new to this, but the reassurance from key people is really helpful. x

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cassper

Thank you

I wanted to thank every one that has posted on my messages. It help to know that im not the only one dealing with this and Im not alone. Im thankful that my feelings are normal. My emotions are up and down so much lately it confusing. My son is doing well now and will hopefully return to school within the next few days. Thanks again and I will post soon.

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RealisticGal
I wanted to thank every one that has posted on my messages. It help to know that im not the only one dealing with this and Im not alone. Im thankful that my feelings are normal. My emotions are up and down so much lately it confusing. My son is doing well now and will hopefully return to school within the next few days. Thanks again and I will post soon.

It's great to see that your son's recovery is coming along well.

Have you run across this article? It should reinforce to you how normal your feelings are at the moment:

I Was Ashamed of My Herpes Until I Found Out...

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Margaux

You are not alone at all, Casper. Also, please know that if your bf is positive, it does not mean you gave it to him. It could be the other way around. The good news is that whoever had it first (if he is positive) doesn't matter as it was passed completely unknowingly and innocently. Also, if he is positive, I think it is a good thing to actually not know where it came from. Then, no one has to carry the guilt or the resentment should there be any of either. If he is negative, he he has good chances of staying that way as female to male transmission is less frequent than the other way around and other precautions can be taken. He told you he is is not letting you go through this alone and to me, that is a wonderful sign of his commitment to both you and your new family.Keep us updated and take good care of yourself. I hope your son recovers from his surgery quickly.

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cassper

Thank you margaux,

My son is doing well. I will find out tomorrow what type I have and maybe they can answer all the questions I have. I have so many and it is scary. My boyfriend seems to be taking this well and its surprizing. I know that he does love me and we were talking about marriage within the past 2 months. I dont know if he still feels the same though. I know that I am very insecure and I hope that doesnt hurt me in the end.

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cassper

RealisticGal

Wow, that is the reaction I had. It looked like an ingrown hair and I didn't think much of it. Obviously, it was more than I thought. I hope all goes well tommorow at my doctors appt. :(

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RealisticGal
Wow, that is the reaction I had. It looked like an ingrown hair and I didn't think much of it. Obviously, it was more than I thought. I hope all goes well tommorow at my doctors appt. :(

We hope so too, Cassper. If you share what they tell you, perhaps we can help you sort it.

The sad truth is, sometimes medical professionals are not very up to speed on herpes. Unfortunately, there are many examples here of folks who have received bad advice/information from their doctor or other medical staff. Hope that is not the case for you.

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cassper

Well I just had my doctors appt and I have hsv type 2. I though I possible had type 1 because my bf always has cold sores. So now he is going into the doctors today to get tested but it will be another 5 days before we know for sure. My doctor said there is a 99% chance that he has this aswell because we have been together for almost 2 years. Gosh this really sucks.

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Margaux

Casper- i don't know where your doctor got the 99% from. I went 14 years without getting hsv from my husband. I am wishing you the best XXOO

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RealisticGal

It does suck, of course. I guess the silver lining, if he does also have HSV2, is that you guys won't need to worry about making decisions regarding prevention/protection.

Hang in and let us know, okay? :wavey:

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cassper

Well lets see, where do I start. Last week my bf got his results back and he tested positive for type 1 orally. So this is very confusing to me. I have type 2 genital and he has type 1 orally but we have been together for almost 2 years now and have not passed this to eachother. Why is that? It just seems like ever since I got diagnosed with this things seem to be falling apart slowly. My bf and I are not getting alone because of other personal issues and Im just trying to balance my life. I have two children, a part time job and I go to college almost full time. Then I have to deal with my bf and all of his weird issues and that's another full time job right there. Im overwhelmed and it anyone has any ideas on how to balance life please let me know.

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IloveNIN

I know how you feel,. I have only been with 2 guys and i believe i knowwho its was from, He didnt tell me and maybe he didnt know. But let us know what type u have and good luck!!!!!!

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