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I am one of those people that will search on the internet for hours searching for Peace of Mind when it come to STDs.

Anyways, I was just intimate with a girl that has genital herpes and now 1 day later I am having complete anxiety that I have contracted this virus. I did wear a condom and washed myself in the shower immediately after we were finished (We did it twice). It was just vaginal sex and no oral. I did speak to this individual expressing concern and she did say that she has the "good" herpes and she has had 3 outbreaks in 15 years. She did also assure me that she was not having an outbreak at the time of our intercourse.

I am just reading that transmission is skin on skin and a condom does not nesessarily prevent the spread of this disease. Perhaps I am just freaking out for nothing. I guess that I am being hard on myeslf that I knowingly had sex with someone who was honest with me and told me that she has Herpes.

Can I get some feedback to easy my troubled mind? :confused:

Thank you all

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I'm sorry to hear you are freaking out over this. My first suggestion is for you to recognize that, with this girl, you knew she had herpes. That simple fact, of telling, lowers the chance you will contract it, according to a study by the American Social Health Association.

My next suggestion is for you to realize that not everyone would tell you they have herpes, some of whom know but also many who are not aware they have herpes (about 70% don't know). So you may have unknowingly had intimate contact with many other partners in the past who have herpes.

Have you ever been tested to know you do or do not have HSV?

That's another point to consider. If you have one or the other (HSV1 or HSV2), it can offer some protection from acquiring a second infection, as you will already have antibodies.

I'm so sorry to hear that you immediately jumped in the shower to wash yourself after having sex with that girl. How sad that must have made her feel, to be treated like a HazMat incident. I'm just saying. I'd suggest that if you can't get over that reaction, avoiding sex with anyone who does not show you recent proof of clear test results might be the kind thing to do. I do everything in my power not to make my partner feel that way. The most basic thing I did was accept the possibility that I may someday get herpes from him, so I don't worry about it. I don't really think about it at this point.

Condoms, while they only cover a small portion of the "boxer shorts" area that can shed virus, do reduce the chances of transmission somewhat.

Is this girl taking antiviral medications? If so, that cuts the risk significantly (about 50% to 80% with suppressive daily therapy).

When this girl said she had the "good" herpes, I'll go with the assumption she means she has genital HSV1. For what it's worth, there really is no such thing as a "good" herpes and a "bad" herpes. They are almost identical under a microscope, and can cause the same symptoms. The only difference is site of preference. HSV1 prefers to infect the oral/facial region. Since it is out of place in the genitals, it tends to cause fewer and less severe outbreaks, and also less asymptomatic shedding, when in the genital region. That does lower the chance of passing it from that area.

Since she has had so few outbreaks over 15 years, her asymptomatic viral shedding is probably very low. Also, female to male transmission is lower than the reverse, which is in your favor.

Try to quit freaking out. By all means, do not be hard on yourself for having sex with someone who was honest with you. It's about the SAFEST thing you could do.

However, you might want to examine your motivations a bit. Just my opinion, but if you let your concerns about STIs be overridden by the base desire to "get your rocks off," you might want to rethink things. If, on the other hand, you chose to be intimate with someone you like and feel attracted to and care about, while not letting herpes define that person or scare you away, good for you.

Please realize that any other girl you might be with could:

  • Not know she has herpes
  • Know she has herpes, but not tell you
  • Know she has herpes, but lie and say she doesn't
  • Not know she has some other STI that is worse than herpes
  • Know she has some other STI...etc.

Let me bottom line it for you (this was my bottom line).

When my fella told me he had herpes, I did all the research before we became intimate. I read worst and best case scenarios of symptoms, I looked at the statistics, blah blah blah. I realized that the statistics are pretty much meaningless. A 4% to 8% annual chance of transmission (male to female) is pretty reassuring...until one lands in that 4% to 8%! So I decided I would either have to accept the possibility that I would get herpes, or I would have to walk away. I did not walk away. You need to make the same decision with this girl and any future partners, to salvage your peace of mind.

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Hi there! Thank you so much for getting back to me. I really appreciate the time you took to respond. I obviously just found this site today and posted my concerns. I was not expecting a response but was very grateful to hear from you.

Ok, now I have some more questions... you mentioned that if one has HSV1 or HSV2 that can offer protection against the other? I ask because, for my entire life I have gotten Canker Sores in my mouth occasionally. Does this mean that I have HSV1 and have a lower chance of getting HSV2? Or am I completely confusing two different things.

The girl did shower and clean herself before intercourse...is this signaificant?

Also, I did read that most people will show symptoms/1st outbreak within two weeks from the encounter. You better believe that I will be checking myself for two weeks and will feel releaved when this period is over. I know that it is just a statistic and it can remain dormant for months, but this is the way the mind works.

I do have a lot of respect for you and your boyfriend for getting past this. I guess love conquors all.

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