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bethany89

why am i not so upset

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bethany89

I went to the Dr today and she said I have herpes. I'm a very emotional person but I didn't tear up at all, and I haven't since I found out. I asked if she was certain that it was herpes and she said shes been doing this for 30+ years, so I trust that she is correct. The guy I was with at the time kept insisting that I know he was clean and that he was tested not even 6 months ago, little did he know that general STD testing doesn't include HSV..and he used to get cold sores as a child. Its just such an awkward conversation to have with him.

I'm really curious as to why I haven't broken down yet..who knows maybe it just hasn't hit me yet. Then again maybe it never will.

I have a couple questions though:

I'm an avid runner and I'm currently training for a marathon, but I have my initial outbreak right now...so am I still able to run or would that be a bad idea?

Also how do I go about telling my parents (if I actually decided to, I think it will be a while before I do if at all). I know my dad gets cold sores, and my mom does as well..however my parents still think I'm a virgin (at 21, haha..no offense to those who are or aren't)

I'm just lost

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WarriorKing

Often people come here and are upset that they have "herpes" whether oral or genital. Usually, within minutes sometimes, they see how widespread and common this is, especially the cold sores that are plainly visible in our day to day life with people and the initial upset evaporates quickly. Maybe you already have this viewpoint.

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RealisticGal
I went to the Dr today and she said I have herpes. I'm a very emotional person but I didn't tear up at all, and I haven't since I found out. I asked if she was certain that it was herpes and she said shes been doing this for 30+ years, so I trust that she is correct. The guy I was with at the time kept insisting that I know he was clean and that he was tested not even 6 months ago, little did he know that general STD testing doesn't include HSV..and he used to get cold sores as a child. Its just such an awkward conversation to have with him.

It sounds to me, by the way you describe the interaction with your doctor, like she has "diagnosed" you based on a visual exam.

If that is the case, just be aware that even "experts" in herpes can make mistakes that way. Herpes simplex is a bit of a chameleon, which can look like many other conditions and vice versa. The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends that ALL diagnoses of herpes simplex should be made by way of laboratory tests. The rate of incorrect diagnosis by visual exam alone is 20% or more.

Herpes Diagnosis

All this to say, if all your doc did was give you a visual exam, you should very quickly find a doc or clinic who will do a proper swab and culture (while your lesions are fresh), as well as a type specific IgG-based blood test. That is really the only way you can know for sure what you are dealing with.

One member here went 20 years believing she had herpes simplex based on a visual exam. She recently found out she had never had it at all.

I don't want to give you false hope. It is entirely possible you did get genital herpes via oral sex from that guy. But it seems to me you would want to know for sure, especially in case you have something else that needs to be treated.

As far as telling your parents, you don't have to. This is your personal, private medical information.

The only folks you should feel compelled to tell about it are medical care providers and potential intimate partners.

Unless you want to share this with your parents, don't feel like you must. It is your choice, based on your relationship with them. While herpes does not change who you are, some folks don't understand that, which could cause you grief. As far as I can tell, your parents have no "need to know."

:wavey:

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FelixCulpa

I just signed up to this site a minute ago and it is nice to see a thread like this. I haven't been diagnosed or seen a doctor yet, but I am pretty positive that I am going to be diagnosed with genital herpes. I only just noticed them a couple weeks ago, but I have two white bumps that look exactly like what I've seen in the pictures I looked up. Just a couple days ago I started feeling discomfort a little further "down under" in an area that I can't actually see, but I am assuming it is related. I haven't had any extreme pain or illness, and the three affected areas aren't clustered, but I can't really imagine what else it could be.

Anyway, having already reached the conclusion that I've contracted the virus (still hoping I am wrong), I haven't really gotten that upset. I'm irritated, especially because I know the exact person I got it from and time it must have occurred. I got a little too into the New Years spirit this year and got with one of my friend's friends who I had only met about 3 hours earlier. I keep thinking to myself, "why the hell were you so foolish?"

I have a friend who is notorious for having sex with girls he barely knows, he has easily had over 60 partners. My friends and I always give him hell and joked with him about how he has to have an STD and better get tested. The irony of it all is that he just got tested and came up clean last week, the same time I just started having these symptoms. I've had 6 partners, all whom I was dating or knew well, prior to the "lucky number 7". Life just isn't fair, I guess.

This is something that has occupied my mind none stop for the past week, but it isn't in a panicky sense. I just wonder things like, will I need to tell my parents, and how will I do so? Can I get tested and treated on my own without their financial help? I'm a recent college grad looking for work and I am borderline broke. If this is my first outbreak, and it's not that bad, is it going to get worse?

I almost get more upset about it when I read some of the posts on here of people freaking out. I think to myself, should I be more worried than I am?

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RealisticGal
I just signed up to this site a minute ago and it is nice to see a thread like this. I haven't been diagnosed or seen a doctor yet, but I am pretty positive that I am going to be diagnosed with genital herpes. I only just noticed them a couple weeks ago, but I have two white bumps that look exactly like what I've seen in the pictures I looked up. Just a couple days ago I started feeling discomfort a little further "down under" in an area that I can't actually see, but I am assuming it is related. I haven't had any extreme pain or illness, and the three affected areas aren't clustered, but I can't really imagine what else it could be.

I hope you will run quick like a bunny to get tested. The tests using material from the sores/bumps are most useful, because they identify whether or not the actual symptoms are due to herpes simplex.

Blood tests are useful, but they cannot identify the actual location of an infection. They just tell whether or not you have one somewhere in your body, based on the presence of antibodies in your blood.

Swab/culture tests of the area are most accurate when the sores are "fresh," so please consider finding a doc or clinic to get it done right now.

Take care... :wavey:

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fattypatty

I'm glad you are not freaking out, and yes, some of our friends here have more troublesome situations and it all must be kept in perspective. Good for you that you are not panicking; I am 53 and single and I did have a few meltdowns, also for same reasons. I told my doctor, through tears, that "I wish I had had alot more fun than I did if this was the price I pay." He reminded me that it is not lethal and that each day would gradually get me back to my baseline. Actually though, every experience we have shapes us. We will be the compassionate ones of the earth. And life isn't fair; FIDO......Forget It, Drive On.

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