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tdot

wont people not want to be with you

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tdot

i got infected from my childs dad. we are not together anymore. how are you suppose to tell someone you are infected with HSV will they still want to be with you

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Acrobat

trust me not only will people still want to be with you but they will make efforts to do so, come to the chat room some time the live chat helped me a lot more than the forums.

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Doc Holiday

First answer yourself this, would you want to be with someone with an STD?

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Shilo041509

Not if they have your attitude, Doc. Y'know what else is an STI (the accepted term now is "sexually transmitted infection")? A cold. A yeast infection. A UTI. They're all infections that can occur as a result of sexual behavior. Yet we all accept those possibilities. Why is herpes any different? Because of some stupid stigma that is shoved down our throats that only bad or undesirable people get herpes. Do you feel like you're a bad or undesirable person? I sure don't.

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MsLucy
First answer yourself this, would you want to be with someone with an STD?

That was encouraging, Doc. Having a bad day, are you?

Tdot, when it comes to love, herpes is not that great an obstacle. I wouldn't jump into bed for a night of casual sex with someone with herpes, but it certainly didn't prevent me from falling in love with someone who had it. That was 10 years ago, and even though I eventually contracted it too, I wouldn't change a thing. Don't fret. Life has a way of working out regardless of the circumstances. ;)

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darkangel2100

My first talk is now my fiance'. There are a lot of people who will not walk away.

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ufcbritt03

I am in the same situation. I met someone that I had amazing chemistry with and I got rejected. He said that he couldn't handle my situation and that I am an amazing woman. If I were so amazing, then why was I rejected over something that I have no control over?! I'm just feeling that I won't be able to find a great guy who can acceppt me for me and I won't have to settle because of my herpes. Grrr!!

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ladyl

People would still I want u I have told 3 guys and all of them wanted me and except it. They respect me cuz I told them the truth. Now I'm wit a great guy he is none h and he treats me the same and loves me. Don't get down there's a lot of guys that can handle it and love it wen ur honest too

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Jewel
i got infected from my childs dad. we are not together anymore. how are you suppose to tell someone you are infected with HSV will they still want to be with you

Hi Tdot, I had an ex-boyfriend who called me a year after we broke up. I just wanted him to go away because well, I had Herpes. So, I told him flat out. I said I have Herpes. I thought for sure that it was a deal breaker and he would hang up the phone. A week later he came over with condoms, he kept telling me what a nice girl I was that I told him. He also told me most people don't tell others they have Herpes. He told me not to worry about it. We stayed together for about 6 months. I was so in shock that he accepted me Herpes in all. I couldn't believe it. I thought I would of turned him off and away but it didn't. Just be honest.

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inquiring1

HSV is just one small part...

Hello tdot,

HSV is just one small part of who we are. This is the realistic viewpoint when you're feeling confident I know, but seriously HSV is just one more thing about all of us here.

I have always had HSV 1 oral, and there is absolutely no hiding a huge oozing blister on ones face. I've tried. It's ugly and it's painful, and I've never been turned down because of it. So...HSV 2 is just blisters gone south for me. Would I wish this on anyone, no. Would I avoid intimacy because of HSV, not any more. At least not with my frame of mind now.

Give peeps a chance and they'll surprise you. They do me, lol. Yes, it's easier with another positive peep because this eliminates "the talk." The BIG, BAD, TALK...we make such a big deal of "the talk." We worry, we stress, and in the end it's just one more little thing about us.

This site helps me enormously. Stick with us.

Sincerely,

Inquiring1 :wavey:

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rockgirl

I was given HSV2 genitally form my sons father also. We have since then broken up and I dated other men. I was honest right from the start and was accepted. The relationship ended up not working out, but it was defintly a learning experience to know will be accepted for me.

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zzzz

i contracted herpes from my childs father too! and people without it have accepted it too..though i still understands its difficult to first trust someone ur interested in to tell them..out of fear of rejection, but like most ppl have said here...when your honest with them from the start they respect that!

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MissHope

Yes there are people out there that will accept you with herpes. I have a non h partner who didn't blink when I told him. A year later, we are now living together and herpes is pretty much a non issue in our lives.

Its the same as if you had diabetes, or high blood pressure or any other medical condition...... if someone cares about you and you are a good person, then people will still want to date you.

Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are damaged or dirty or don't deserve someone, because you do.

And if you get rejected, then remember that it is the virus that someone is rejecting, not you as a person.

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tnhickman

I haven't had herpes for very long, but I just recently told this guy who I was interested in. When I told him, he said, that's ok sweetheart, we'll just work around it. So, have faith. There are guys out there for you. You will find one.

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30yearswithit

You know, there's actually one strange side-effect of being honest with potential partners, one that seems very counter-intuitive in my experience. Back when I was dating (and by this I mean hooking up more like) I would always tell a potential sex partner about my herpes even before I was certain I was interested.... just to get it out there. I was never rejected for it. In fact, quite a few men interpreted this as a sign that I intended to have sex with them (or that I was "easy") and became quite persistent. Another couple of men interpreted this that I was a good honest woman and that I was a "keeper" and wanted to have a serious relationship with me even though I was only looking for sex. Odd how that happens.

(BTW as far as I am aware I have never infected anyone. I am still friends with 90% of my ex-lovers.) Communication is always a good thing.

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stillinlove

i was so scared to tell my bf, he understood and we are still together.

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